Naheed Khan

Smile for yourself. Believe in yourself. Dance for yourself. Do it all, not just the way they want it. But the way you like it.
For the gift of life and love for yourself.
Because YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Happy International Women’s Day to all the strong, sensitive and powerful women out there.

The restrictions or obstacles we perceive in life are often products of our own thinking. These limitations are not inherent to the external world, but rather created by our own thoughts and beliefs.

By actively engaging our creativity and envisioning new ways of thinking and doing things, we can transcend these self-imposed limitations. Our minds can either confine us or set us free, and the choice is ultimately ours to make.

Naheed you are an introvert.

I remember being told this around 20 years back when my personality profiling was done. I was told what my personality type is.

Well, it was not news to me. I was a person who used to run away from crowds and from going to events.

Meeting new people and talking to them was the biggest stressor for me.

Public speaking was my biggest fear and I used to get anxiety attacks just thinking about it.

I was only comfortable with a few known people and usually if I was not being acknowledged or made to participate in a conversation.

20 years later this is me today.

I love meeting new people. I love going to events. Public speaking excites me and fills me up with energy. I have spoken to crowds of thousands and love answering their questions.

Did I change who I am?

No. I am still an introvert. I love my space and my me time.

So what did I do?

✅I disassociated the tag from my “identity”.
✅I just made myself adaptive and flexible.
✅I changed the way I was thinking about myself and the world.

👉🏻I focussed on my strengths that being an introvert gave me.

“Introverts like to be alone.” I changed what this meant for me.

As an introvert, I understood that i drew my energy from within. I could recharge when I am in my space. I could have clarity and could visualise better. So I had my me time to do just that.

👉🏻 The fear of public speaking was because of the focus on “others” which fed the weakness of my self image.

I changed the focus to the “my contribution”. I build my knowledge by learning, participating and working. I had lots of stories and experiences to share. Stuff which would make “others better”.

👉🏻 Introverts don’t like crowds.

I stopped focussing on the crowds and started focussing on those people who were sitting there eagerly waiting for me. Because introverts build great relationships with the ones they connect with.

👉🏻I stopped thinking about my “weaknesses” or my “strengths”. I focussed on only thing “purpose”. In everything I did, I asked myself “what is the purpose of this?”

Changing yourself is easy when you stop focussing on what you are not and start focusing on what you would like to become.

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Can you sell anything that you won’t buy yourself?

This is not about selling products or services.

This about a leader selling their influence, their decisions, their strategies, their vision.

It’s a perspective which we don’t usually apply with Leadership.

During a recent program for a Board of Directors, I was asked why do leaders need to work on their selling skills, “Leaders are those who lead…they don’t sell?”

Yes, if you mean going out to the end users and selling stuff.

But is that the only definition of “selling”. That is actually the action of selling something to achieve desired results.

Selling is not only about responding to a stated need. It is also about satisfying unstated needs.

When someone buys a product, apart from the functional need, it also satisfy emotional needs.

As leaders, you are more on the emotional side of the equation than the functional side.

Leaders sell their influence. Their Persuasion skills is what makes for effective implementation of strategies and decisions.

The fact is this is one skill we all need in life.

It’s not just about the professional life but even in our personal life, whether as a parent or a spouse, we are always negotiating, we are always convincing.

The thinking patterns associated with Leadership are limiting leaders from moving out of the defined “box” that the labels have put on them.

Leaders who believed in their ideas, were the ones who could successfully sell it to others. They could make people believe not just in the idea but also in themselves.

If you as a leader can’t buy your own ideas, your decisions and your vision, you will never be able to sell it… which means you will be unable to influence people.

You may lead the growth, the transformation, the change, but the success of the same will always fall short.

So ask yourself…. “Do you buy into your own leadership?” “Do you believe in the vision that you are selling to your people?”

If the answer to this is not clear, then rethink.. evaluate… what is missing?


Is it something in you?
or
Is it something in the vision?

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How powerful is gratitude?

What do you think? What happen when you develop the attitude of gratitude?

I am not talking about being grateful, i am talking about having a mindset of gratitude.

What’s the difference?

Being grateful is thanking for what you have externally. Things you can see. And let me tell you this “your vision is limited”.

Will you believe it if I tell you that your eyes are capable of seeing 10 million colours, but how many can you define if I ask you to?

If you are not consciously aware of something doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.

When you have a mindset of gratitude, you keep discovering more and more that you have. It’s a mindset of abundance. It helps you see that which is not so obvious to you. That which you have taken for granted.

I ask my clients to write everyday 10 things that they are grateful for. And after the first 3-4 days they come back to me and ask if they can repeat the things as they can’t find more stuff to write about.

This is because we are programmed to express gratitude for things which are benefiting us or serving us or bringing us joy.

So they focus on their job, family, luxuries, health, success, achievements, house, business…

They forget to internalise “gratitude”.

For eg- you can breathe, your lungs are working to make you breathe, your heart beating to keep you alive, you fingers working to help you write, your ability to read, your ability to write, you can walk on your two feet, you can see with your eyes, you can smell, you can speak, you can taste, you can hear, you can touch, you can feel the warmth, you can feel the cold….. and the list can go on…

When you reprogram your mind to “live” in gratitude, you find benefits even in your worst times, you find positives in your worst pains and that is when you build a mindset of resilience.

One which finds strength’s even in the weakest of moments.

One which changes the way your emotions and your past impacts you.

So go ahead and start writing 10 things that you are grateful for everyday. Just remember you can’t repeat. It has to be something new everyday.

Write to me if you find it difficult to do so. I can promise you the list is infinite.