Minutes On Growth Coaching

There are no bad condiments, just like there are no bad emotions.

Some flavours might be unfamiliar to us. Some might feel too intense. Some we may have spent years avoiding because we never learned how to experience them.

Emotions can be the same.

Anger, sadness, grief, fear, jealousy, joy… they all bring something to the table. They are messengers, giving us information about what we need, what matters to us, what hurts, and what needs our attention.

But just like a meal, we need moderation.

Too much salt can overpower everything else. Too much pepper can make it hard to taste what’s underneath. And when one emotion takes up all the space, it can become difficult to experience everything else that is present.

The goal isn’t to remove certain emotions from the table. It’s to create containers for them.

A space to show up.
A time to be felt.
An opportunity to be processed.
And permission to eventually be released.

There is space and time for everything.

We don’t need to fear our emotions or label them as “good” or “bad.” We can learn how to sit with them, listen to what they’re trying to tell us, and allow them to move through us.

Every emotion belongs at the table. We’re just learning how much of each one we need.

“Why am I late when I started getting ready so early?”

For many people with ADHD, time management isn’t simply about owning a planner or trying harder to be punctual.

ADHD can affect our ability to estimate how long something will take, anticipate transitions, remember future tasks, and notice how much time has passed.

So instead of relying entirely on your internal sense of time, externalize it.

⏰ Use visual timers.
⏰ Create multiple alarms for transitions.
⏰ Add buffer time.
⏰ Work backwards from when you need to LEAVE.
⏰ Break one big deadline into several smaller ones.
⏰ Put appointments into your calendar immediately.
⏰ Include preparation and travel time when planning.
⏰ Review tomorrow’s schedule the night before.

Instead of:

💬 “My appointment is at 3.”

Try:

💬 “I need to leave at 2:15, so I need to start getting ready at 1:30.”

The more concrete and visible time becomes, the less your brain has to estimate and remember internally.

You don’t necessarily need more discipline.

You may need better external cues.

📌 Save this reel for the next time “I have plenty of time” turns into rushing out the door.

↗️ Share it with someone who is somehow always convinced something will “only take five minutes.”

Getting an ADHD diagnosis is not about excusing behaviour.

It’s about understanding why certain things may be harder so we can figure out what support, skills, and systems actually help.

A diagnosis can give language to struggles that may have previously been labelled as:

❌ “lazy”
❌ “careless”
❌ “unmotivated”
❌ “disorganized”
❌ “not trying hard enough”

But understanding the why is only part of the process.

The next question becomes:

💬 “Now that I understand how my brain works, what can I do differently?”

That might mean learning strategies for:

🧠 Focus : body doubling, reducing distractions, working with momentum, using focus-friendly environments

⏰ Time management : visual timers, alarms, buffer time, breaking deadlines into smaller steps

🗂️ Organization : external reminders, simplified systems, designated homes for important items, routines that require less remembering

This is also where ADHD coaching can be a valuable part of the process. Coaching can help someone take what they know about ADHD and translate it into practical, individualized systems for everyday life, while building accountability, problem-solving skills, and strategies that actually fit their brain and lifestyle.

Because the goal isn’t:

“This is just how I am.”

The goal is:

“Now I understand what I’m working with so how can I support myself better?”

Over my next few reels, I’ll be sharing practical ADHD strategies for focus, organization, and time management.

📌 Save this reel and follow along for the rest of the series.

↗️ Share it with someone who is learning to work with their ADHD brain instead of constantly fighting against it.

One of the biggest misconceptions about ADHD is that people with ADHD simply need to “focus harder.”

The difficulty is often not an absence of attention…it’s regulating where attention goes, how long it stays there, and when it shifts.

That’s why someone might struggle to focus on an important email for 10 minutes but spend much longer completely absorbed in something that interests them.

Instead of fighting your attention, experiment with creating conditions that support it.

🎯 Reduce distractions.
🎯 Try body doubling.
🎯 Work in shorter focus periods.
🎯 Add movement breaks.
🎯 Put your phone somewhere harder to reach.
🎯 Use timers to create external structure.
🎯 Make boring tasks more stimulating.
🎯 Break the first step down until it feels easy enough to begin.

And don’t forget about the other side of attention regulation: hyperfocus.

Sometimes support isn’t about helping yourself focus.

It’s about helping yourself stop focusing and transition to what comes next.

The goal isn’t to force your brain to focus harder.

It’s to understand what helps your brain focus better.

📌 Save this reel and experiment with which strategies work for YOUR brain.

↗️ Share it with someone who has ever been told to “just focus.”

Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt doesn’t mean ignoring hurtful behaviour or pretending everything is okay.

It means slowing down before assuming the worst.

When we feel hurt, disconnected, or triggered, our brains can quickly fill in the blanks:
“They don’t care.”
“They did that on purpose.”
“They’re ignoring me.”

But sometimes there’s another explanation.

Maybe your partner is overwhelmed, distracted, tired, or didn’t realize how their actions affected you.

Assuming positive intent creates space for curiosity instead of defensiveness. Try replacing an accusation with:

“Can you help me understand what happened?”
or
“I noticed I’m making an assumption right now. Can we talk about it?”

Healthy relationships aren’t built on never misunderstanding each other. They’re built on being willing to check our assumptions and understand each other before reacting.

📌Save this for your next difficult conversation

↗️ Share it with someone who might need it

💻 & if you want support with your relationship, book a free consultation with a Registered Psychotherapist through the link in our bio.

If you have ADHD, organization often isn’t about knowing how to organize.

It’s about creating systems that don’t require your brain to constantly remember what needs to happen next.

When working memory and executive functioning are already being stretched, complicated organizational systems can quickly become another thing to maintain.

Instead, think: How can I make this easier for my brain?🤔

🧠 Keep important things visible.
🧠 Give frequently lost items a designated home.
🧠 Use one calendar instead of trying to remember everything.
🧠 Automate recurring reminders.
🧠 Create drop zones and simple routines.
🧠 Reduce the number of steps required to put something away.

And remember: the best organizational system isn’t necessarily the prettiest one.

It’s the one you’ll actually use✔️

Sometimes that means the basket stays where you naturally drop your clothes instead of where you think the basket should go.

Make your environment do some of the remembering for you.

📌 Save this reel and try ONE strategy instead of trying to change everything at once.

↗️ Share it with someone whose brain could use a little less to remember.

What we say to a partner with ADHD can either create more shame OR create more understanding.

Statements like:

❌ “If you cared, you would remember.”
❌ “Why can’t you just focus?”
❌ “You’re so lazy.”
❌ “You never listen.”
❌ “You always forget.”
❌ “You’re just making excuses.”

can turn an executive-functioning struggle into a character judgment🫣.

Instead, try language that keeps accountability without shame:

✅ “What made this hard to follow through on?”
✅ “Would a reminder or shared calendar help?”
✅ “Can we remove distractions before we talk?”
✅ “What would help you get started?”
✅ “How can we divide this in a way that feels fair?”
✅ “What system can we create so this doesn’t keep happening?”

This is something I’ve had to learn in my own relationship too, so I’m sharing it from both personal experience and professional training.

🔸Supporting a partner with ADHD does not mean parenting them, doing everything for them, or ignoring your own needs✖️

It means learning how to address the behaviour without attacking the person✔️

ADHD can explain certain struggles, but it does not remove responsibility. The goal is to build systems, communicate clearly, and stay on the same team (us vs the problem).

📌 Save this reel for the next time frustration takes over.

↗️ Share it with someone who loves a partner with ADHD.

Not Everyone Deserves Your Heart: Learn How to Choose Emotional Safety Over Familiar Pain!

In this 10-minute episode, I explore the question: Do we attract certain people, or do we choose to entertain them?

Through the lens of attachment theory, I unpack why we’re often drawn to what feels familiar rather than what is healthy, how childhood patterns can shape our adult relationships, and why we may unconsciously try to “change the ending” of old wounds.

I also bring in an IFS perspective and share reflective questions to help you understand which parts of you become activated in certain relationship dynamics.

If you keep finding yourself in similar patterns, this episode is an invitation to look inward with curiosity, compassion, and greater awareness.

Listen to Episode 174 of the Minutes on Growth Podcast on:
- Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4dwsrDASTckzjFxQPyMSAF?si=8EusVvioSMq5GGxUfx-_Aw
- Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/minutes-on-growth/id1294464255?i=1000779294027
- Youtube: https://youtu.be/GCUm125ViuI

And suddenly, we’re not just understanding something intellectually, we’re actually feeling it, processing it, and finally beginning to integrate it.

It’s such a beautiful reminder that therapy isn’t only about the tools or the modality.

Sometimes, healing happens in the experience of being witnessed.