Cleary Brothers Ultimate Sports Tour

Sean Maloney at the Harbord Diggers Over a couple of schooners at the Harbord Diggers, journo Matt Cleary and commentator Sean Maloney talk state of the union, what makes rugby fun, nearly killing Brian O'Driscoll at the inaptly-named Grouse Mountain, and how to sell the game to rugby league players (with beer and s*x in other countri...

Gaze in slack-jawed wonder, bi***es.

Ashes & Open Golf Tour Check out this trip I made on Travefy!

And so, we are a lock, and Cleary Brothers Ultimate Sports Tour is good to go with:

- Fourteen (14) tourists
- Tickets to Ashes second Test at Lord's Day One (ya!)
- Open tickets for Saturday & Sunday at St.Andrews Old Course
- Four rounds of golf (at North Berwick, Kingsbarns, St.Andrews (Castle) and Lundin Links)
- Two nights accommodation London
- Four nights accommodation Glenrothes
- Four days 17-seat self-drive bus hire ex-Edinburgh
- Golf shirts (2) and hat w/- Tour logo.
- Ryder Cup-style event Townies vs Bushies
- Cash prizes
- Whiskey appreciation afternoon watching Open Championship in Old Course Hotel (TBA, but oh please, it would be good)
- Tour Dinner.

So it should be quite good.

And now we are 12. Locked and loaded, and largely paid up in full. All good. Anyone else wants to join us remains Welcome, we can add ad hoc. Like to get multiples of four, as at the moment we have 3 x 4-balls, six twin-share rooms, good numbers for a post-round shout, and plenty room back of the 17-seat mini-bus. Any interest, email [email protected].

Okay. We have 11 Guaranteed Tourists. And two who are umming and/or aahing. We still have openings otherwise, and will take Tourists on top on an ad hoc basis. But obviously first in and paid up, as 11 of our Tourists are, is best dressed in tartan plus-fours.

Anyway, the latest e-mail to the Tourists went:

International Flights. Everyone gets themselves to London Heathrow (LHR), landing on Wednesday 15th July. Or joining us on following flight LHR-EDI on Friday 17th. Or meeting us in Edinburgh Airport at 10:40am on Friday. FYI: Robbie McLaughlin and I have the last seats on Cathay Pacific SQ242 that’s ex-Sydney on Tuesday 14-July at 18:00. It’s via Singapore, and lands London 07:35 on Wednesday 15-July. Sister-in-law Sallee has sorted us pretty well, so get onto her if you want someone else to do all this malarkey for you: [email protected].

Train. Once we’ve landed we’ll take the 15-minute Heathrow Express to Paddington Station, and dump our bags at our …

Accommodation which will likely be Mercure Paddington. Won’t be able to check-in for a while (though you can pay extra $70 to get in at 10am), but sure we can find a big English breakfast, perhaps with giant kippers!, followed by some sight-seeing (at an early-opener) and then reconnoitre the area (drink a pint) and get our bearings (drink another pint). We’ll then have two (2) nights 15th & 16th July in the Mercure. It’s a short walk from Paddington Station. Surrounded by restaurants and pubs. About a 1.5km walk to Lords and a pub crawl back from. Looks perfect for our needs.

Lords! Ashes Day One at Lords is a very hot ticket, and we have several men on the ground working on their People. Suggest you register with Lords and enter the ticket ballot. Further suggest you use spare email addresses to register more than one and/or get everyone we know to register, and if they are lucky enough to luck into tickets they would give them to us. (Also fun registering when putting in Salutation, there’s 50 options, why I’ve gone with “Baron”). I will likely have a Press Pass that could likely be shared about for a session or two among types. Johnny Pead has a mate who’s a Member who may be able to come across spares, and/or share a ticket for a session or two among friends. Anyone who’s an SCG member can go in a ballot also. There would be other avenues, several corporate, several meet a man in the pub. Scalpers would want your arms and legs, a pox on those people. And anyway, if we don’t see any live cricket it will still be a very fun day drinking pints in a pub and watching Mitchell Johnson fairly eviscerate the Poms on the box. And repeat.

Internal Flight LRH-EDI. Friday 17-Jul at 09:20. As per a previous missive, suggest everyone purchase this flight from London to Edinburgh, for the morning of Friday 17-Jul at 09:20. My flight number (cos I’ve gone all the way with Cathay) is SQ2533. But it's OPERATED BY AER LINGUS FOR VIRGIN ATLANTIC. Looking at Virgin’s site now it’s from 60 quid one-way. Get on.

Mini-Van. Righitio. So the posse lands in Edinburgh where we have to pick up this 17-seat bad-boy from this mob AA Rentals who are located 10km from the Airport. We can all go in a couple of cabs to the joint. Or send out some emissaries to bring it back. Or organise for a Man On The Ground to grab the big Hooer, and pick us up. Reckon first option best, then all those who would drive the big bu**er - suggest all of us with D/Ls - can sign up.

From there we’re off to North Berwick GC, which looks like a ripper. We have 3 x four-ball Tee-times around 2:30. Suggest we go straight there from the Bus Hire joint to golf (about a 30min drive), and have a nice big feed and a pint before play, to get in The Mood. And then…

We Golf! Format? With 12 players we could have Ryder Cup style six-vs-six. Day One 2BBB (and singles). Day Two (2BBB, ditto). Day three singles, Day four Match-play, with 1v2, 3v4, etc. Or four Tournament rounds. 4 x Net/Gross. Don’t really want to play Foursomes, or Ambrose. But something we can look at. Mark Webber’s mates in Yorkshire have some fabulous malarkey with servants and different shirts each day. Discuss.

We’ll be done by about 6:30 for 7pm, say, then we’ve got an hour's drive to accommodation at Glenrothes, Balgeddie House. It’ll still be very light, so suggest we check-in, freshen up, and go to …

The pub. This one looks pretty good. Big chance of a feed. Perhaps with Yorkshire pudding. And haggis. And tattoos and napes.

Saturday morning golf is still TBA. Options are: Levin Links, Scottscraig, Glenrothes, Crail Golfing Society, Falkland Golf Club, and a thousand others, it’s Scotland, The Home of Golf. We would tee-off from 7am. Four hour round. Feed, pint. And then onwards to…

The Open at St.Andrews. Will drive straight from golf to golf. Not sure where to park. But sure there is somewhere. Or locals may suggest public transport. Will get some local good oil from our hosts at Glenrothes.

Tickets? Go on sale next week, or the week after. Let me know if you want me to buy them and you fix me up. Last year the General Admission were 65 quid per day, say about 240 bucks for the weekend of Top Golf Entertainment & Theatre.

Saturday night. Pub. Meal. Pint. Repeat.

Sunday! Lundin Links. We are booked in for 7am, 3 x four-balls. We eat. We golf. We eat. We pint. We head again to

The Open at St.Andrews.

Sunday night. See Saturday night. Possibility of livin large in the be-seen venues of Glenrothes, given late tee-time the next day. There is a distillery in town, indeed when you Google images the word “Glenrothes” this comes up. Which is nice.

Monday morning. At leisure! Not sure what the f*ck there is to do in Glenrothes apart from re-visit the Distillery. And for the really, really keen we could perhaps have a hit of golf at Glenrothes Golf Club, which is the only one of the dozen or so I contacted that said it would be happy to mix us up with some Members. So if we could fit a fifth round in, and 36 holes in the day … it would probably be too much. But again, TBC. Either way, that afternoon we play:

Kingsbarns. Which looks freakin’ spectacular. We have 3 x four-balls booked from 2pm. If you want a Caddy let me know. I’m getting one, they save you many shots.

Monday night. Tour Feast. We could institute some sort of fines and other system, and/or everyone chuck in 50 quid or something, and we have a Big Feast and hand out Tour Awards, and have a presentation, and drink from a claret jug that my brother Tim reckon he can get knocked up, along with...

Tour Shirts Brother Tim is going to work on his employer, Fitz Something, they sell you ways to look after you money or something, to knock out some nice golf shirts. Not sure what it'll cost, if anything. But that is on the Agenda Items. And next day…

Check-out. I’m back to Oz. Others would be touring the Continent, playing Carnoustie, doing as they please. I’ll be dropping The Van back.

And that, Men of Golf, is that.

Any questions/suggestions/clarifications, etc - fire back with the Reply All button and we’ll have a big Group Thing going on.

Okay. That has killed many excellent hours. Talk to you of these and other Important Matters soon.

And bye for now.

And a third. Reserved. Locked-in. Even Paid for.

Kingsbarns: Golf p**n mega-feast.

Kingsbarns Golf Links Welcome to Kingsbarns Golf Links, ranked in the top 100 golf courses in the world.

Exhibit b:

Monday, 20-July: North Berwick.

North Berwick Golf Club | The Course | Picture Gallery

Two rounds of golf locked-in:

Exhibit a:

Sunday, 19-July: Lundin Links.

Lundin Golf Club :: course history of this Fife golf links near St Andrews Lundin Golf Club is located in Fife, Scotland and is an Open qualifying links course when The Open is played over the Old Course in St Andrews. Rated as one of the best golf courses in Scotland, visitors are welcome all year round.

Further Golf Course P**n. Scotscraig Golf Course, the World's 13th Oldest Golf Club.

Scotscraig Golf Club » by St Andrews, Fife, Scotland - The 13th Oldest Golf Club in the World An Open Final Qualifying Course, steeped in history and with proud traditions. Ideally situated in the heartland of Golf close to both the “Old Course” in St Andrews and Carnoustie Golf Links.

Further News: Tickets to Ashes Day One at Lord’s is a very hot ticket. Looks a case of doing one's best. I will likely have a press pass. Other mates have mates who are Members at Lord’s and/or the SCG. These people may be able to source multiples, and go in ballots. Public punters can also go in a ballot by signing on to the Lord’s register, as per follows. I have done this also. And will word up all the Touring Party to do so also.

Perhaps, for instance, if we have 12 Tourists with 4 tickets between us, we could do a session each. Some two sessions if types can't be arsed. I know there's a couple for whom golf is No.1. Anyway there’s probably a half-dozen other ways to get a ticket, in the way of these things. You could probably hang about in a pub near Lord's on the day before and/or the morning of the match. Types in pubs have spare tickets that they couldn’t be arsed hocking to grubs. Happens often.

Further, my thoughts, if it doesn’t happen and we can’t source cricket tickets, it would be fun anyway hanging out in a pub and watching the Test match from there anyway. Either way you’re in London which is a Cool City for eating and drinking.

But: tickets to Day One at Lord's is the one Thing about the trip that's not guaranteed.

Register Founded in 1787, Marylebone Cricket Club is the most active and famous cricket club in the world and owner of Lord's Cricket Ground - the Home of Cricket.

Breaking: Itinerary Tweaked To Include Extra Round of Golf.

To wit:

* Tuesday 14-Jul - Fly Sydney-London (21:20).

* Wednesday 15-Jul - Land London midday. Direct Train to Paddington Stn. Check-in Mercure Paddington. Afternoon: Leisure.

* Thursday 16-Jul - Breakfast. Find pub. Drink pint. Prepare for Lord’s and Ashes Day One.

* Friday 17-Jul - 8am - Train to Heathrow. 10am - flight to Edinburgh. Midday - pick up 17-seat Tour Van. 1pm - Play Golf at . 6pm - Check-in to hotel.

* Saturday 18-Jul - Play Golf at Lundin Golf Course. Watch Open at St.Andrew’s.

* Sunday 19-Jul - Play Golf at Blairgowrie. Watch Open at St.Andrew’s. Drink a beer. Feast. Repeat.

* Monday 20-Jul - Play Golf at Kingsbarns. Feast. Drink. Repeat.

* Tuesday 21-Jul - Repent.

Mercure London Paddington 4-star Mercure London Paddington boasts a contemporary design and central location. Setting a precedent to satisfy the needs of busy executives as well as discerning leisure guests, this Central London hotel is located seconds from Paddington UndergroundStation and Heathrow Express. With state-of-th…

Okay, The People. Scotland Accommodation: locked and loaded. We have six (6) twin-share "deluxe" rooms booked and locked-in at Balgeddie House, Glenrothes. Tarrif is $85 per head per night, which represents fine value. Couple of nice little pubs a walk away. About 20km from ye olde St.Andrews. We will stay and play here, oh yes.

Best Western Balgeddie House Hotel | Home The BEST WESTERN Balgeddie House Hotel, on the outskirts of Glenrothes, gives you the chance to escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life and take time out in peaceful surroundings north of the border. Set in its own peaceful gardens (complete with rolling lawns!), this wonderful hotel is perfec…