Carla Da Costa

What relationship dynamic with the opposite s*x do you keep attracting or repeating?

Different person.
Different relationship.
Same patterns.

At some point, we have to stop looking only at who we’re attracting and become curious about what within us is still available for that dynamic.

What we don’t heal, we repeat.

And when we change on the inside, what we attract, pursue and accept begins to change too.

You are the magnet.

🤍 If you’re ready to change who you’re attracting post-separation, comment LOVE below or DM me to explore working together privately.

The person who is right for you may just be on the other side of your own healing.

Comment “PODCAST” below and I’ll send you my latest episode. 🎙️

The over-giver meets the taker.

There’s a relationship dynamic I see again and again in the women I coach and it’s this woman 👇

She’s capable.
She’s independent.
She’s used to carrying things.
She emotionally compensates for a man.
She over-functions.
She gives more than she receives.
Her boundaries can become leaky.
She puts her own emotional needs beneath keeping the relationship—and him—happy.

And she can become incredibly attractive to someone who is very comfortable letting her do it all for him so he doesn’t have to step up, mature or be accountable.

The uncomfortable part?
Sometimes our strength can actually hide another person’s lack of contribution.

We keep stepping forward, so they never have to.

In my latest podcast episode, Why Strong Women Often Attract Takers In Relationships, I’m talking about this dynamic, why it happens, what receiving has to do with it, and what changes when a woman stops over-functioning and becomes more self-led in love.

Comment “PODCAST” below and I’ll send you the episode. 🎧

The word “feminine” has become one of the most misunderstood words in the women’s healing space.

Especially for women who’ve experienced heartbreak, a marriage ending, trauma or who have always found themselves surrounded by “strong” women in their family and it’s all they’ve ever really known ♥️

For this woman they may never have actually been feminine and empowered at their core.
And not even realised it.

Some people think it’s softness.

Some weakness that will see you hurt and taken advantage of.

Others think it’s beauty, how you dress and look.

Others think it’s being agreeable, go with the flow or letting a man be the dominant decider.

It’s none of those things.

The feminine isn’t something you perform.

It’s something you embody.

It’s who you are intrinsically on the inside in your thoughts, emotions, outlook, behaviour and energy.

🤍 If the words in this post resonate with where you are on your healing journey, I’d love to hear from you.

Comment “FEMININE” below or send me a DM.

I’d love to know which part of this carousel spoke to you most.

Comment “STRONG” below if you are the woman who, with hindsight, can see that being strong cost her emotionally, spiritually and physically.

I can help you undo this and stop the pattern.

One of the most common patterns I see in my female coaching clients is this:

They’ve spent years being “the strong one.”
The one everyone relies on.
The one who keeps the peace.
Carries the emotional load of the house, the kids, the relationship.
The one who always finds a way through.

From the outside, people admire them.

They describe them as resilient.
Capable.
Independent.
Strong.

But behind closed doors, it’s often a very different story.

Many have spent years believing their worth is measured by how much they can do.

How much they can tolerate.
How much they can sacrifice.
How much they can keep it together for everyone else.

Over time, that identity comes at a cost.

They stop asking for help.
They lose touch with what they need.
They ignore their intuition in relationships.
They stay in relationships longer than they should.
They become emotionally disconnected.

And somewhere along the way, they stop asking themselves one very important question:

Is this right for me and healthy for me?

One of the biggest shifts I witness through coaching isn’t women becoming stronger.

It’s watching them become vulnerable and open.

It’s witnessing their emotional guard come down. And letting me see behind it.

And that’s where real healing begins.
The heart opens and softens.
Love comes in.
Life comes in.
A new woman emerges.
Softer.
Lighter.
Then she was before.

I recently met a group of 1:1 clients in-person for the first time. And one of them said to me something straightaway that I hear everytime clients meet me.

“You have big energy.”

I do have big energy.

And truthfully that comment came off the back of a huge physically and emotionally taxing June and July for me.

I walked into that lunch feeling like more of a hot mess than I typically like to feel. Instead my energy came across just the same.

The reminder is this:
• Energy moves people faster than more information ever does. My energy is big to hold the space for what I do for clients and people that are around me. It is my normal. And these clients actually felt a slightly dialled back version of me.
• Your internal energy does not lie. People feel it, experience it and are either lifted up by it without realising or dragged down by it without realising. Mine is a big lifting up energy.
• It’s rare for anyone or anything to take away from my energy. I’ve learnt to be lighthouse energy. And after the 2025 I had that’s gone to a whole other level of can’t be dimmed or impacted.
• You learn energy by sitting in front of someone with big energy and letting it impact you. This is why ramming podcasts or more information in your ears doesn’t change or transform you. ENERGY DOES.

Your energy is impacted by:
• The energy of the people you allow into your physical body or who you allow to physically touch you. The people you sleep next to. Huge energy impact on your psyche and well being.
• The quality of people you keep in your life. How they live and what they talk about.
• The town and space you live in - your everyday surroundings.
• Your personal lifestyle, health and physical activity.
• Your thinking and emotional story.
• Nature and sunshine.
• Your spiritual practices.

If you want to change your life, change and focus on these things above.

Sit in front of someone who has energy different and bigger than yours and maybe let yourself feel uncomfortable by it.
Let yourself feel uncomfortably seen even.

That’s the space where you will actually grow.
Not in the comfort.

All the ways to work with me can be found in the links in my profile. C x

Saturn Retrograde is here (26 July–10 Dec 2026) — and it's asking us to finish what we started, not punish us for the past. If old relationships, family dynamics or unresolved patterns are resurfacing, this read explains why that’s happening and how to work with closure and karmic lessons instead of resisting them. Read more: https://wix.to/vTIMmgk

Saturn Retrograde 2026: Karma, Closure & Why Old Relationship Patterns Resurface Why old relationships, family dynamics and unresolved patterns often resurface during Saturn Retrograde—and why it doesn't mean you're going backwards.From 26 July until 10 December 2026, Saturn is retrograde.If you've suddenly found yourself revisiting old emotions, having conversations now that ...

The woman who quietly got up and left the table with little to no explanation…

She’s the one to watch.

Not because she didn’t care.

But because she reached a point where she no longer felt the need to convince someone to see her and love her better.

She already knew she deserved both.

She realised:
* It had become harder to stay than it was to leave.
* Peace was worth the risk of the unknown.
* Being on her own felt emotionally safer than staying in a relationship that was costing her her self-respect.
* She’d rather rebuild from rock bottom than continue abandoning herself.
* Real love should never require her to throw her own self-love out the window.
* Her future was worth more than her fear.

Leaving wasn’t the easy option.
It was the brave one.

Because when a woman says,
“I’d rather take the risk and be on my own than stay with him…”

…she’s telling you everything you need to know about what she experienced in the relationship she just left…

…and the level of self-respect she has for herself.

✨ Comment “I CHOOSE ME” if you’re ready to fully work towards your future and completely redefine your next chapter.

I’d love to show you how we can work together. 🤍

If you’ve ever wondered what the women I work with look like… this is them. 🤍

Different ages.
Different careers.
Different life experiences.

I’m so proud of these women.
Some I’ve coached for a few months.
Some I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside, on and off, since 2022.

Some earn more than me.
Some earn less.
Some are rebuilding after divorce.
Some are building businesses.
Some are rediscovering themselves after decades of putting everyone else first.

What brings them together and to me isn’t their age, income or background.

It’s their willingness to grow ✨

Today we gathered in Sydney for our Rising Year long lunch, and as I looked around the table, I felt incredibly proud of these women.

And I can’t wait to see where this next 12 months takes them.

Everyone of them chose herself and their truth.

They’ve done the work.
They’ve had the hard conversations.
They’ve kept showing up.

Getting to be the one who helps open up the doorway to who they are becoming is one of the greatest privileges of my work.

If you’re the kind of woman who knows she’s meant for more… we’ll probably get along beautifully. 🤍

Said while wearing my Hermes’ bracelet…but that’s what happens when you get to this age and stage…everyone has a past version of self 😆

Change is challenging to make when you have an established, locked in life and lifestyle that you’ve been living for years.

When you have a set identity and way of being that you’ve held onto since your teens and into adulthood.

Unstitching the threads of an old life that no longer reflects who you are or who you are becoming is an internal and external process of blocks and challenges to overcome.

I’ve been navigating “successfully” established clients through this process for many years now.

➡️ From success to fulfilment.

➡️ From who I thought I was and thought I was meant to be to who I actually am and can see I was meant to be all along.

For enquiries about my coaching and mentorship please enquire via my email 💌 [email protected]

For those who want the details ⬇️
Human Design: Generator
5/1 Profile - The Trusted Authority.

Numerology Life Path: 33/6 - Master Teacher, Master Healer.

Astrology: Sagittarius sun ♐️
Pisces rising ♓️
Aquarius moon ♒️

Whoever chose for me these Quantum codes on my reincarnation back into this visual simulation 😉😉 gave me some good ones to define me.

“A natural synthesizer who can move between different frameworks - psychology, science, spirituality, business, neuroscience, marketing and ask “how do these fit together? What truth keeps showing up between them all?””

“ Someone who is driven to turn experience into wisdom, and wisdom into practical transformation for others.”

Landed on my life path and destiny accidentally.
Didn’t know I was.
✨