22/10/2026
🚨🏏 SAMCA OVER-50s DIVISION 1 — ROUND 2 WRAP-UP! 🏏🚨
BIG SCORES, BIG EGOS & MORE RETIREMENTS THAN A SUPERANNUATION SEMINAR! 😂🍻
Welcome back to SAMCA Over-50s cricket, where the cover drives are classy, the hamstrings are questionable, and the word “retired” is being used more often than “I used to be a gun!”
Three games, plenty of runs, a few bruised egos and enough retired-not-outs to qualify for a seniors’ discount at the chemist. Let’s get into it! 👇
🏏 GRANGE vs ADELAIDE EZYS
Grange 3/193 defeated Adelaide Ezys 5/181 — by 12 runs.
Grange got home by 12 runs, proving that you don't need to dominate a game when you can simply make the opposition suffer for 40 overs.
Anton Balym (51*) and Ben Slack (54*) both retired not out, while Simon Tape chipped in with 35 not out. Clearly, Grange's batting plan was simple: get to 50, protect the average, and get back to the pavilion before anything starts clicking or popping.
Meanwhile, Ezys had Nicholas Mosey (50*) and Tim Haysman (52*) also finishing unbeaten. Four half-centuries between the two sides, and apparently nobody wanted to risk ruining a perfectly good batting average by getting out!
Craig Calliess, Tim Haysman and David Wakefield picked up wickets, but Ezys fell 12 runs short. Twelve runs! That's one decent over, two dodgy singles and a misfield from someone who swears he was a gun in the '90s.
The verdict: Grange take the points. Ezys take home the moral victory, four not-outs and the comforting knowledge that their averages remain intact. 😂
🏏 ADELAIDE UNIVERSITY vs HFCC
Adelaide University 177 all out. HFCC Gold 4/181 — won by 6 wickets.
Dennis Cester smashed 72 for the University, seemingly determined to complete the entire batting assignment himself while his teammates contributed occasional footnotes.
Unfortunately, the rest of the class didn't quite turn up for the group project, and Uni were all out for 177.
Enter HFCC, who chased the target in just 32 overs. Adam Blakely retired not out on 51, while Jeremy Snoad and Leith Dawes both made 34, with Anthony Farrugia finishing unbeaten on 18.
That's a fairly comfortable chase. HFCC apparently decided that hanging around all afternoon watching blokes adjust their groin guards wasn't part of the plan.
Gavin Rowe grabbed three wickets for Uni, doing his best to keep them in the contest. Sadly, one bloke with the ball can only do so much when the batting lineup has collectively decided to clock off early.
The verdict: Uni had Cester. HFCC had the team performance. And the scoreboard, as usual, showed absolutely no sympathy for individual brilliance or emotional damage.
🏏 GOODWOOD vs BAROSSA & LIGHT
Goodwood 8/187. Barossa & Light 4/194 — won by 6 wickets.
Now this one was a retirement village reunion!
Goodwood posted 187, with Darren Martin retiring not out on 51 and Warwick Potts making a handy 48. A solid effort, although 48 must be the most frustrating score in Masters cricket. Two runs short of a half-century and a lifetime of explaining that you were unlucky.
Barossa & Light then turned the chase into a leisurely Sunday stroll, getting home in just 29 overs.
Corey Roberts retired not out on 54, while two fill-ins also retired not out on 52 and 50.
THREE RETIRED-NOT-OUT HALF-CENTURIES IN ONE INNINGS!
At this point, we're not sure whether Barossa were playing cricket or conducting exit interviews.
Their batting strategy appears to be: reach 50, refuse to accept further responsibility, and let the next bloke deal with it.
To be fair, it worked beautifully. Barossa got the win, Goodwood got the long afternoon, and somewhere a physio felt a disturbance in the force.
Corey Roberts also picked up three wickets, proving he can cause damage with both bat and ball. A genuine all-rounder — unlike the rest of us, who are generally all-round sore.
The verdict: Barossa & Light win comfortably. Goodwood will be reviewing the footage, the team selection, the pitch, the weather, the umpire and probably the bloke who forgot the oranges.
🏆 ROUND 2 AWARDS!
🥇 The “I Did My Bit” Award: Dennis Cester — 72 runs for Adelaide Uni. He can legitimately say he did his job. The rest of the team may wish to avoid eye contact.
🎯 The Wrecking Ball Award: Gavin Rowe and Corey Roberts — three wickets each. Actual bowling performances, rather than just telling everyone how quick they used to be.
🏃 The “We've Got Dinner Booked” Award: Barossa & Light — chasing the target in 29 overs. No mucking around, no sightseeing, and home in time to complain about the grandkids.
🛋️ The Golden Recliner Award: Barossa & Light's batting lineup — three retired-not-out half-centuries. That's not an innings; that's a mass early retirement scheme.
📉 The “Twelve Runs! Are You Kidding?” Award: Adelaide Ezys — beaten by Grange by just 12 runs. Close enough to taste the victory, but not close enough to avoid hearing about it at training.
🍺 THE FINAL WORD
Round 2 delivered runs, wickets, retirements and enough talk about past glories to fill a three-day Test.
Congratulations to Grange, HFCC Gold and Barossa & Light on their wins.
To the teams on the wrong end of the results: chin up, boys. There's always next week. And if that doesn't work, there's always the tried-and-tested Masters cricket excuse list:
✅ The pitch was doing a bit.
✅ The outfield was too slow.
✅ The umpire had it in for us.
✅ I was seeing it like a beach ball in the nets.
✅ I would have made a hundred, but I was protecting the hamstring.
Until next round, keep the runs flowing, the sledging friendly and the ice packs handy.
SAUCE & AB — NOT OUT YET! 🏏🍻
The cricket is serious… but the players definitely aren't.
