Counselling Wellbeing and Connection

Counselling Wellbeing and Connection Guiding adult individuals to change patterns or outcomes, by offering counselling, coaching & training. Support Groups & Corporate options available.

I offer EASY ONLINE 60 &/or 90min sessions,
& limited OUTDOOR sessions completed in natural settings.

THE SECOND BETRAYAL CAN CUT EVEN DEEPERSometimes it isn’t only the person who harmed you that your nervous system learns...
02/10/2026

THE SECOND BETRAYAL CAN CUT EVEN DEEPER

Sometimes it isn’t only the person who harmed you that your nervous system learns is unsafe.

It can also be the people who knew, saw, heard or were told…and then chose to minimise what happened, excuse the behaviour, defend the person responsible, pretend nothing happened, or expect you to move on. There can be enormous anger in realising: “You knew what they did to me ….and you still chose loyalty to them.”

This secondary betrayal can create its own wound. People may tell themselves they are “keeping the family together”, “staying out of it” or simply “keeping the peace”.

But whose peace is actually being protected? When silence means the person who caused the harm experiences few consequences (or goes into victim mode themselves) while the person who was harmed is expected to tolerate their presence, swallow their pain or remain quiet, that silence can feel like another abandonment.

Neutrality does not always feel neutral to the person who was harmed.
And yes….you are allowed to feel angry about that.

I understand why this kind of betrayal can be so difficult to process.

Sometimes the people standing by were people you deeply loved, respected and believed would stand beside you when it mattered. Discovering that their discomfort, family loyalty or desire for an easier life mattered more to them than confronting what happened can profoundly change how safe you feel with them.

There can be grief not only for what happened, but for who you believed those people were. You may never see them, or the relationship….in quite the same way again.

You don’t have to silence yourself to make other people comfortable, and healing doesn’t require you to convince them to understand. Shared history, family ties, forgiveness or compassion do not automatically entitle anyone to continued closeness. You are allowed to create boundaries around people whose choices have caused further harm. Sometimes the hardest grief isn’t only accepting what someone did to you — it is accepting who chose to stand beside them afterwards. 🩷

If this has happened to you….I am deeply sorry. You didn’t deserve any of it.
You deserved to feel loved, safe, heard, supported, protected,
valued and worthy of their loyalty. You deserved them to stand beside you and use their voice and their power when you needed it most….

Reach out if I can support you 💗💓

https://www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au/

Dial 000Who doesn’t love Australian Grand final time?The AFL and NRL grand finals are a time of celebration for many Aus...
26/09/2026

Dial 000

Who doesn’t love Australian Grand final time?

The AFL and NRL grand finals are a time of celebration for many Australians….but experts warn it is often sadly also a period of heightened risk for domestic and sexual violence.

While sport is not the cause of this violence….there is a significant link between alcohol consumption and the risk of heightened family violence on major sporting events.

Don’t just be a bystander.
Be Aware.

Remember that this is not just about potential victims finding ways to be and stay safe….it is about this behaviour not happening in the first place. Education and Awareness (not burying your head in the sand) are key. The facts are there for all to see. Stop your friends from going overboard, check yourself and ask what could this next drink lead too (regardless of the final score outcome for your favourite team). 🏈🏉⚽️🏟️

Be There Foundation


GRATITUDE AND STRUGGLE CAN EXIST TOGETHERToxic positivity can add yet another layer of pain to something that is already...
25/09/2026

GRATITUDE AND STRUGGLE CAN EXIST TOGETHER

Toxic positivity can add yet another layer of pain to something that is already difficult. We can feel pressured to “look on the bright side”, count our blessings or remind ourselves that someone else has it worse — as though gratitude means we’re no longer allowed to acknowledge what hurts.

But two things can be true at the same time. You can be deeply grateful for your life AND find parts of it incredibly hard. You can love people AND need boundaries. You can appreciate what your body still allows you to do AND grieve what it no longer can. You can recognise your blessings AND still feel exhausted, overwhelmed, sad, angry or disappointed. None of those feelings cancels out gratitude. 🩷

Sometimes genuine wellbeing isn’t about forcing ourselves to feel positive. It’s about making room for the whole truth of our experience — the beautiful bits, the bloody hard bits, and everything in between. 🌈

www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au⁠


I’M SO GLAD WE’RE QUESTIONING THE OLD RULES 🌈I confess that I LOVE it when OTHER people do my ironing 😂 however, it is a...
25/09/2026

I’M SO GLAD WE’RE QUESTIONING THE OLD RULES 🌈

I confess that I LOVE it when OTHER people do my ironing 😂 however, it is a chore that bores me to death!

….But underneath the humour in this post is something I really value: we are allowed to question the things we were taught we simply had to tolerate.

🩷Staying because “that’s what you do”.

❤️Keeping relationships because of history.

🧡Laughing off disrespect.

💛Pushing through exhaustion.

💚Keeping the peace at the expense of ourselves.

I think one of the most powerful things we can learn is that tradition, expectation, guilt and “we’ve always done it this way” ….are not good enough reasons to keep doing something that harms us.

We can choose boundaries.
We can leave unhealthy relationships.
We can teach children bodily autonomy. We can rest without earning it.
…..And we can create lives that reflect our values rather than automatically repeating somebody else’s. 🩷

Maybe growing older isn’t about becoming set in our ways at all.
Maybe it’s about finally becoming brave enough to ask, “Does this actually work for me?” And apparently, for some of us, the answer regarding ironing is still a very firm NO. 😂 (unless of course you have a partner who actually enjoys the task, or perhaps you can afford to pay someone for their labour, patience and skills !)

https://www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au/

I invite you to read this post with curiosity and a bit of humour. I also invite you to share this with someone who might need to expand their thinking, or needs confirmation that they have made solid choices.


WHEN EVERYDAY SOUNDS FEEL IMPOSSIBLE… IT COULD BE MISOPHONIAMisophonia can make ordinary sounds — snoring, barking, whis...
23/09/2026

WHEN EVERYDAY SOUNDS FEEL IMPOSSIBLE… IT COULD BE MISOPHONIA

Misophonia can make ordinary sounds — snoring, barking, whistling, chewing, tapping, typing, heavy breathing or a loud television — feel incredibly intrusive. Your attention may lock onto the sound and irritation, distress, anxiety or an overwhelming urge to escape can appear almost instantly. Your body can react before you have time to consciously think about what is happening.

For many HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE and NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE, sound sensitivity may sit alongside a broader sensory profile…..And your capacity to cope isn’t necessarily the same every day.

If you are like many others - When you’re already tired, stressed, overloaded or stretched beyond your capacity, another unwanted sound can sometimes feel like ONE THING TOO MANY.

Understanding your sensory needs, recognising your early signs of overload and finding ways to support your nervous system can help you respond with greater self-compassion rather than judging yourself for a reaction that feels automatic. 🩷

Awareness matters.
From awareness there are sensible steps you can take to support yourself.

Ear protection, reducing unnecessary sensory input, taking breaks, creating quieter spaces and learning what helps your nervous system settle can all form part of supporting yourself. You don’t have to force yourself to simply “put up with it”. Understanding your sensitivities gives you more opportunity to work with yourself rather than constantly fighting against yourself.

Follow my page for more supportive information Counselling Wellbeing and Connection and share this with someone who might need to understand or feel less alone.

https://www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au/


SELF-COMPASSION….IS SOMETHING WE CAN PRACTISE EVERY DAY 🩷Self-compassion isn’t simply “being nice to yourself”. It’s le...
22/09/2026

SELF-COMPASSION….IS SOMETHING WE CAN PRACTISE EVERY DAY 🩷

Self-compassion isn’t simply “being nice to yourself”.

It’s learning to notice when you’re struggling and respond with the same warmth, patience and understanding you would offer someone you care about.

Sometimes it begins with one very simple question: “What do I need right now?”

You might need rest, reassurance, connection or movement.

I suggest….placing a hand over your heart and simply breathing quietly for a moment.
Speak to yourself as you would a good friend, and/or perhaps write yourself a letter filled with the kindness you so readily give to others.

🫶🏻 You deserve to receive some of your own compassion too. 🌸

For more information about self-compassion, including links to the world leading expert on research and practices for Self-Compassion (Dr Kristin Neff) please visit Counselling Wellbeing and Connection’s website for information⁠.

https://www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au/

What is one small act of self-compassion you could offer yourself today? 🩷


SELF-COMPASSION CAN CHANGE THE WAY WE MOVE THROUGH HARD THINGSSometimes the most powerful shifts begin with changing the...
22/09/2026

SELF-COMPASSION CAN CHANGE THE WAY WE MOVE THROUGH HARD THINGS

Sometimes the most powerful shifts begin with changing the way we relate to ourselves. Self-compassion isn’t about pretending things are okay or avoiding responsibility. It’s about meeting stress, mistakes, disappointment and overwhelm with the same kindness and understanding we would so readily offer someone we care about.

The work of Dr Kristin Neff reminds us that self-compassion is something we can learn and practise. And perhaps most importantly, we don’t have to wait until we’ve improved, achieved more, healed more or become some future version of ourselves before we deserve our own compassion. We can begin with who we are, and where we are, right now. 🩷

You can find links to Dr Kristin Neff’s work and other helpful resources through my website:
Counselling Wellbeing and Connection⁠


WHEN YOU JUST KNOW…There can be a particular feeling that arrives when something in your life no longer fits…..Perhaps i...
21/09/2026

WHEN YOU JUST KNOW…

There can be a particular feeling that arrives when something in your life no longer fits…..

Perhaps it’s a relationship, a habit, a situation you’ve outgrown, or simply a way of living that no longer feels right.

Sometimes the message becomes clearer when we can quieten ourselves enough to notice what our mind AND body have been trying to tell us. The tension. The heaviness. The repeated discomfort. The sense that something needs to change.

That “knowing” may have been building for much longer than we realise.

Our mind notices patterns, experiences and small moments along the way, while our body can respond to stress and discomfort before we have consciously made sense of it.

Of course, not every uncomfortable feeling means “leave immediately” — anxiety, fear and past experiences can speak loudly too. Discernment matters.
Give yourself space to reflect, notice what keeps repeating, and ask: “What is this feeling trying to tell me?”

If something has been quietly asking for your attention, perhaps this is the week to listen rather than push it aside.

You don’t necessarily have to make a huge decision today.

Start by naming what you know, exploring your options and deciding what your next safe step might be….And if you need support working through a difficult decision, you don’t have to untangle it alone. 🩷

www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au⁠

Counselling Wellbeing and Connection





YOU DON’T HAVE TO BLEND INYou don’t have to follow the crowd simply because everyone else seems to be swimming in the sa...
20/09/2026

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BLEND IN

You don’t have to follow the crowd simply because everyone else seems to be swimming in the same direction.

Your quirks, sensitivity, dreams, values and way of seeing the world are part of what makes you uniquely YOU.

Comparison can quietly pull us away from ourselves. Instead of asking, “Am I doing what everyone else is doing?” perhaps ask, “Does the life I’m creating actually feel right for me?”

You are allowed to choose differently, change direction and build a life that feels authentic to who you are. 💖

It is hard enough to not compare ourselves with others who we deem are better, more successful, healthier, fitter, who are achieving their own goals, and who are doing ‘great things’…..but they are not us.

We ARE UNIQUE. We have differences that make us shine. We have things that others don’t….and that is simply fantabulous !!!!

Be you….Everyone else is taken 💖
Dare to shine brightly and differently 🤩
Especially within your family structures.

https://www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au/

PERSONAL GROWTH VALUES — WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU?Personal growth isn’t about constantly trying to become a “better” ver...
19/09/2026

PERSONAL GROWTH VALUES — WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU?

Personal growth isn’t about constantly trying to become a “better” version of yourself. It can be about becoming more aware of….

💛 Who you really are,

🩷 What matters to you,

🧡 What you want to explore…and

🩵 HOW you want to live.

Look through the Personal Growth Values and notice which ones genuinely resonate (ALL of them)….not simply the ones you think you ‘should’ choose.

1: Write them ALL down,

2: Narrow them to your TOP FIVE,

3: Then explore which ONE feels like your most important, ‘non-negotiable’ Personal Growth value. This will become your CORE Value for this area.

Find a quiet place, or take a gentle walk in nature (with a note book or phone to take notes) and allow the insights to flow. This is where the deeper reflection begins. Take the time to explore….

💛 Why does this value matter so much to me?

🧡 How does it show up in my everyday life?

🩷 Does it help guide my decisions?

💚 Am I actually living in alignment with it?

🩵 ….And is this really MY value, or is it something I absorbed from my upbringing, family expectations, culture, environment or experiences?

Sometimes getting to know ourselves means gently sorting through what we’ve inherited and discovering what genuinely belongs to us.

This is also something we can explore one-to-one together.

I can support you to build your own personal Values lists, narrow them down to your CORE values and make sense of how they can guide your everyday decisions, boundaries, relationships and wellbeing - helping you come back to what is truly important to YOU.

🤩Save this post to return to the exercise, and please share it with someone who might enjoy exploring their own values too. 🫶🏻

Each week we are looking at the core values form different areas of our lives.

These core values are what we need to come back to when we have to make decisions, or when something happens that throws us from our balanced state. It rocks us to our core (as the saying goes) and our values are what reminds us of who we are, what our needs are, and what direction we need to be heading in.

🤔 Values can change over time, so it is worth taking the time to consider what they are for you at this present moment.

Follow my page for the other values we have already explored and to get updates on the upcoming ones. Soon we will have a complete set of our CORE VALUES - exciting times!!!

https://www.counsellingwellbeingandconnection.com.au/


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