Rasmussen Coaching and Consulting

What Does It Actually Mean to Q***r Your Way?

Q***r Your Way carries two meanings: being q***r or trans on your own terms, and q***ring your way of life, stepping outside the norm, whether or not you're q***r. Here's why both matter....

What Does It Actually Mean to Q***r Your Way? Q***r Your Way carries two meanings: being q***r or trans on your own terms, and q***ring your way of life, stepping outside the norm, whether or not you’re q***r. Here’s why both matte…

You Can’t Ask For What You Don’t Believe You Deserve

Discover why self-acceptance has to come before you can expect acceptance from anyone else. Explore the quiet pattern that keeps you settling for half-acceptance from the people around you. Learn what it actually takes to believe you deserve to be fully seen, and fully accepted, exactly as you are....

You Can’t Ask For What You Don’t Believe You Deserve Discover why self-acceptance has to come before you can expect acceptance from anyone else. Explore the quiet pattern that keeps you settling for half-acceptance from the people around you. Learn w…

One Foot In, One Foot Out: Why Halfway Doesn’t Actually Feel Safer

There’s a specific kind of stuck that isn’t hiding, and isn’t pretending either. It’s living out, just not fully open, because the people around you haven’t quite made room for all of who you are yet, so you hold part of yourself back to keep things comfortable....

One Foot In, One Foot Out: Why Halfway Doesn’t Actually Feel Safer There’s a specific kind of stuck that isn’t hiding, and isn’t pretending either. It’s living out, just not fully open, because the people around you haven’t quite made room for all of who you are y…

Coming Out Later in Life: The Fear That Almost Kept Me Stuck

Coming out and transitioning later in life can bring up a complicated mix of fear, self-doubt, identity, and uncertainty. In this deeply personal reflection, I share the question that first cracked open my understanding of my gender identity, the fears that kept me stuck, and what ultimately helped me trust my own voice. My journey taught me that living authentically isn’t about erasing your past, it’s about building a life that reflects who you truly are....

Coming Out Later in Life: The Fear That Almost Kept Me Stuck Coming out and transitioning later in life can bring up a complicated mix of fear, self-doubt, identity, and uncertainty. In this deeply personal reflection, I share the question that first cracked…

Your Window of Tolerance Isn’t Just for the Hard Stuff

We usually talk about the window of tolerance as a measure of how much pain we can handle. But it also covers our capacity for joy, pleasure, and love. If good things trigger anxiety or self-sabotage instead of relief, your window may need to expand, not shrink to fit what feels familiar. Most of us learned the concept of a “window of tolerance” as a way to talk about our capacity for distress. Grief, fear, anger, overwhelm. When something pushes us past our window, we flip into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The work, we’re told, is to widen that window so we can stay present with hard feelings instead of getting swept away by them. That part is true. But it’s incomplete....

Your Window of Tolerance Isn’t Just for the Hard Stuff We usually talk about the window of tolerance as a measure of how much pain we can handle. But it also covers our capacity for joy, pleasure, and love. If good things trigger anxiety or self-sabota…

Two Years Ago, We Started Over

Two years after moving to a new city, I reflect on what leaving behind the familiar taught me about fear, grief, and trusting big decisions. If you’re facing a major life change, this story is an invitation to choose the life you’re trying to build—even before you feel certain....

http://rasmussencoachingandconsulting.com/2026/07/22/two-years-ago-we-started-over/

What Does a 10 Look Like? Why Your Best Life Doesn’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s.

Discover what truly makes a 10 in your life! Often, we're conditioned to chase societal milestones, but your 10 is unique to you. Imagine waking up excited, having meaningful friendships, and feeling comfortable in your skin. These are the moments that matter most, and they define a fulfilling life. Stop comparing yourself to others and start defining your own success. Your 10 is personal, and it's up to you to make it a reality....

http://rasmussencoachingandconsulting.com/2026/07/12/what-does-a-10-look-like-why-your-best-life-doesnt-have-to-look-like-anyone-elses/

Eight years ago I wrote a post about coming out. I ended it by saying I was finally living, loving and being true to myself.
And I was. But I was also still figuring out what that even meant.
I’ve written a follow-up. And this one covers everything I wish someone had told me back then. Truths about the complexity of sexuality, about the difference between sexual and romantic attraction, about demisexuality and why finding that word quietly changed things for me. And about the mental patterns that kept me performing a life that didn’t fit, even after I thought I’d done the hard work.
This one’s personal. It’s also for anyone who has ever felt like they were broken because attraction didn’t work for them the way it seemed to work for everyone else. Or like coming out was supposed to fix everything and somehow it didn’t.
You’re not broken. You might just not have the right words yet.

What I Know Now That I Wish I’d Known Then: The Coming Out Edition Eight years ago I wrote about coming out. Today I’m writing about everything I wish I’d known then. The complexity of sexuality and attraction. The difference between sexual and romantic attraction…