Sweet Babydreams Infant & Child Sleep Coaching

Hello! Check out an interesting free webinar about your baby’s development. Details in the link below 👇

Note: the webinar will be in French but an English version will be to come!

Bonjour à tous 😊 !
⏰Notre Webinaire GRATUIT le 6 juin à 12h ! ⏰
Venez en apprendre davantage sur le développement de votre bébé 👶 et venez posez vos questions à notre super intervenante 😀
Parlez en autour de vous et inscrivez-vous via ce lien 😊!
https://www.physiosa.ca/webinaire-comment-bebe-marche.html

Good Afternoon !
⏰Our FREE webinar is coming up on June 6 at 12pm ⏰!
Come and learn more about your baby's development👶 and ask your questions to our superstar speaker !
Spread the word, and click below to sign up😊 !
https://www.physiosa.ca/webinaire-comment-bebe-marche.html

It's time to celebrate YOU, mama!

Well...all of us, really!

Despite countless blowouts and diapers changed, you’re the one that wipes away tears and kisses away ouchies. Even though you make wonderful meals that mostly don’t get eaten, and do endless loads of laundry, and are presented the worst of your child’s tantrums, you are the one that your little one feels safe with, the person they run to when they are scared or excited.

⭐️ Mama, you are worth celebrating! ⭐️

And you know what makes the gift of motherhood even sweeter and more enjoyable?

Everyone getting good sleep!

🌟 That’s why we're having 20% off sale to celebrate Mother’s Day! 🌟

Save 20% on everything from our Dreamy Day Routines Guidebook to premium 1:1 coaching services with the coupon code "MOTHER".

Sale ends on Monday 5/9 at 8am (Central European Time).

BROWSE ALL PRODUCTS AND SERVICES --> https://sweetbabydreams.eu/

If you know a fellow mom that could benefit from better sleep, simply forward this post to them, or buy a sleep resource on their behalf.

Cheering you on in your motherhood journey, this week and always! 💙

The 4 months sleep regression: Is your baby waking every 2 hours in the night? The 4 month sleep regression marks a permanent change in your baby's sleep, and can cause 2-hourly wake-ups in the night.

New blog post 📣
As new parents, we hear about the dreaded 4-month sleep regression. However understanding what exactly is happening in this natural developmental milestone is very helpful in supporting our little ones as they go through it.

In our new blog post, we answer the question: why is your little one waking every two hours in the night?

Check it out 👇

The 4 months sleep regression: Is your baby waking every 2 hours in the night? The 4 month sleep regression marks a permanent change in your baby's sleep, and can cause 2-hourly wake-ups in the night.

One of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal for better sleep is by creating an age-appropriate bedtime ritual for your baby!

It’s a great way to signal to your little one that it’s time for bed. After a few times they will recognize the pattern and find security in knowing what’s next. You can start with a very simple one as early as 3 months old.

Nap rituals can be short, 5-10 minutes long and bedtime rituals can be a bit longer, 15-20 minutes.

Here are some ideas you can include in your little one’s ritual before sleepy-time:
🧴Wash face, teeth, change diaper and put on jammies
🧸Cuddle time and looking at a picture book
💡Dim lights and put sleeping bag on
🥱Hold baby and sing a lullaby
🎶Turn white noise on
😴Lights out and baby into bed

Did you notice we didn’t include feeding as part of the bedtime routine? We recommend feeding before doing the routine and ending the feed 20-30 minutes before putting your little one in bed (if they’re older than 4 months). This both allows your baby to get the nutrition they need, as well as give them that extra cuddle time before you start your sleep-time ritual.

Do you have a bedtime routine for your little one(s)? Tell us about it so we can get ideas and inspiration from you!

How do MY emotions impact my baby’s sleep?

Parents often underestimate the effect co-regulation has on their baby’s sleep. If your baby crying makes you feel anxious or frustrated, it’s more difficult for them to calm down or settle. This applies for bedtime protests with toddlers, calming a newborn or in the context of sleep training. What makes co-regulation tricky is of course the fact that we’re all human after all and sometimes we ourselves need outside help to regulate our emotions.

Here are some things you could try when you feel like it’s impossible to stay calm during bedtime:
▶️ Put your baby into their bed and make sure they’re safe.
​​⏸️ Step outside of the room and take a few minutes to regulate your own state of mind (if possible reach out to your partner for support)
🔁 Go back to you baby when you’ve been able to collect yourself
⏏️ If you find it difficult to regulate your emotions, it might be better to send the other parent into the room.

Sometimes it’s better to leave your baby to cry for a minute or two, than to stay with them in a state that doesn’t actually provide them the support they need. Mechanical (read: frustrated) soothing doesn’t usually go a long way, when it’s provided by a parent, who is agitated, anxious or angry.

These steps also make sure that you don’t accidentally harm your child when experiencing very strong negative emotions. I can honestly admit that I have experienced such frustration when calming a newborn that I understood why some parents end up shaking their babies. A parent who’s hanging on by a thread can end up doing things they NEVER thought possible.

In conclusion - co-regulation is important for regulating babies’ emotions and in the development of self-regulation, but first and foremost it requires parents to regulate themselves, before turning to their baby.

When you’re feeling frustrated, what do you do in the moment to calm down?

We’ve talked a lot about crying and it’s different aspects this week and I hope we’ve given you some landmarks to understand your baby’s cries. One important aspect we haven’t yet talked about is co-regulation.

Self-regulation is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts and behaviour. But self-regulation takes a while to develop (over the course of your child's first few years of life). That’s why newborns and babies almost always need help with regulating their emotions. For babies and toddlers, co-regulation plays an important part in the development of their self-regulation abilities.

Put simply, co-regulation is the mutual emotional influence between two people and its aim is to help both better regulate their emotions. In the context of parents and children we refer to co-regulation, when a parent helps their child regulate their emotions through supportive behavior and their own emotional state.

For example: If you remain calm during a strong emotion for your child, talk to them calmly and reinforce that with open body language and soothing movements, it becomes easier for them to calm down. It’s important to note I don’t mean active soothing to calm them (i.e nursing, rocking, swinging etc) but simply being calm yourself as a response to their emotions.

Have you tried this with your baby or toddler?

Why is it so hard for us to hear our babies cry? Our first instinct as parents is to stop the crying as quickly as possible. Have you ever thought, why?

Yes, on one hand it is our job as parents to make sure our children’s need for physical and emotional attachment is met, but does it mean they should always cry as little as possible?

For this post, I teamed up with Hanna, one of the owners of Sweet Babydreams (who is also a psychologist 🙌):

Should we always prevent our kids from crying as much as possible?

My answer to that question is, not necessarily. That’s because crying in itself is an important mechanism in REGULATING (not just announcing) our emotions. If we hurry to quiet the cry, we might end up unwillingly limiting their freedom to express, work through and regulate their emotions.

To think of it, we’re not really that good with seeing anyone cry around us. Most of us feel discomfort in the presence of a crying adult - often our first instinct to make them stop as quickly as possible. We offer them advice, solace, and try to uplift them. When in reality what they need most is for us to just be there for them. To listen, offer safety and support - and manage their discomfort in order to do so. (I’m not even going to dive into why and how unhealthy our society’s relationship to crying actually is.)

This same principle is at work with kids. If their cry expresses an emotion, the best thing you can do is support them with your presence. It’s important for you to be present in a way that’s best for your child, not yourself. Just because you feel the best thing to do is to pick them up and console them by rocking, doesn’t mean it’s actually what is best for them. Finding that balance between your impulses and your baby’s actual needs can be super tricky and as such I would never give you a playbook on how to answer your baby’s cries.

I do, however want to encourage you to stop and think about these things the next time your baby cries:
❓What are they trying to express?
❓What does my child NEED from me right now?
❓How can I offer that in a way that suits them AND correlates to what they’re trying to communicate?

Crying is without a doubt one of the most difficult topics we cover in our one-on-one consultations.

Many list crying as their number one grievance that makes sleep training harmful in their eyes. Even if you’re not opposed to sleep coaching in general, it is absolutely understandable that the idea of your baby constantly crying fills you with dread. So, with that in mind, let’s talk about crying in a bit more detail this week.

Crying in itself is in no way harmful for children - psychologists agree here rather clearly. What’s important however is WHAT crying communicates and HOW it is responded to.

I’m sure we can all agree that crying is a communication tool. That’s true for both babies and adults, but in the first few years of life it is often the ONLY way a child can communicate their 🤱 needs, 😢 emotions and ✌️wants. I’ve listed at least 3 different things crying can indicate. Most often though it is only thought to represent one of them - a need. That’s why it often feels to us that if a baby is crying, they are definitely in need of something.

For newborns crying is mostly related to their most pressing needs (hunger and tiredness), but even then there is at least one other dimension a newborn can express with crying - their emotions. Studies have shown that in the newborn phase crying is an important stress relief for infants, but they need outside help with regulating their emotions.

The older your little one gets, the more complex their inner world becomes and the more intricate their communication through crying gets.

When it comes to sleep training, then the #1 rule we follow is that your baby’s actual needs must be met and responded to by parents. At the same time we give children permission to express their emotions and wants (i.e stopping them from crying is not a goal of its own) by offering them a safe environment and plenty of support to do so.

What’s your understanding of your baby’s crying? I really recommend observing them and trying to learn the subtleties in their self-expression to catch what it is they’re trying to tell you!.