Crystal Chen

Ascension
A word that gets tossed around that sounds airy fairy 🧚‍♀️ that may make it feel like a nice place to get to because you’re reality seems insufferable

💥The constant uproar of the world
💥Constant demands that seem to never end
💥 the “wrong people” wanting your attention while you’re waiting for the “right one” to see you for who you are
💥I’ll finally get to do this only after this is cleared up (insert your fav “reason” for not just doing the damn thing”

But you don’t and actually can’t wait for the future to get what you want. You get to start to have them now if you choose it AND can see it

✨I “manifested” my dream partner when I was at one of the worst points of my life
✨I “manifested” the most money when I was desperate for it
✨I started my coaching business when I felt like my life was falling apart

I got some of the best things at my worst, going through real life tough AF SH*TUATIONS because I allowed it

You do not need to have life figured out before you can have and move forward with your desires

You just need to recognize that life will always well, life and it’s not until you get what’s going on the inside figured out before your outside world changes

Sorry, but waiting to “ascend” before you move is just another form of procrastination

So if you want to start working on your real life desires NOW, even while you got some real life things going on, shoot me a DM.

Also check the bio for a free workbook

When I got out of an extremely toxic codependent relationship where mind games, gaslighting and being used as a trash 🗑 where garbage could be dumped was my norm, I believed being treated with basic decency was amazing

When blow and Molly used to be my best friend, drinking away my feelings didn’t seem so bad

When I grew up seeing my family lose 💰💰and everything they earned on more than one occasion, not being broke was more than good enough

So it is no surprise that when I was able to support myself and my son and be out of dysfunction, I felt bad for wanting more.

I convinced myself my Sh*tuations is a better one than before and I must be “ungrateful” and “bad” for having these feelings

And the truth was, my “good enough” was the bare fu***ng minimum

And sadly I know I am not unique in this experience

I know many of you are here or know exactly what I am taking about

And you are destined for more and I know in your gut, you know it too

I am tired of seeing people accept the bare minimum and if you are too, I have spots open this month for 1:1 coaching

Big love to you boo❤️😘

The capacity as to which we can feel and be with “big emotions” is our capacity to invite in and experience joy, pleasure and ease.

There is a distinction between HAVING these emotions and knowing how to be with them without judgment

We don’t go for the things we want not because we don’t desire them, it’s because it doesn’t feel safe for us to have it.

Increased emotional capacity is often only cared about when 💩 hits the fan and you need to “manage it”

But what if it can also be your superpower to effectively communicate what it is that you want?

What if at the very core of what you desire is first making it safe enough for you to have them in the first place?

If you want to handle your emotions like a G, click 🔗🔗 to get started bb!

Most of you are out here spending a lot of time talking 💩 about yourself and truly it needs to stop

And the sad thing is, most of you do this so often, you don’t even realize it is just running in the background 🤯

So what can you do about it?

✨Become more aware of your thoughts
✨Find evidence to prove yourself wrong
{so if it’s “I’m useless” find evidence where you have been useful}
✨Reflect on what you would rather feel or think about yourself

This takes practice
It may not always feel natural

But you are too cute to not give yourself the same love you’d give your bestie

Just because you are a parent doesn’t mean you have to give up pleasure and let go of shmexy time

So many parents seem to say this is the first to go and I truly believe it’s not because you have children but ….

💥Your expectations and beliefs around what it means to be a parent
💥How you feel in your new post partum body
💥Feeling guilty for wanting something for yourself and not giving everything to your child

And

These can turn into resentment towards being a parent, your partner and can trickle into other areas of your life

So in case you needed a permission slip that it’s ok to have some time for yourself for some wild fun, like you had prior to baby, here it is boo

Resilience as an outcome of needing to persevere and survive life, can give a false sense of independence

True independence has choice, free will and your ability to decide what you want to do alone and when you want to call in support

I spent so many years confusing being strong and independent with rigidity to allow others support me, which was rooted in my fear of being let down, abandoned and looking stupid

This looked like
💥saying I was choosing to leave situations on my own accord when I was really pushing people away
💥doing everything myself and calling it “self responsibility” as opposed to holding others to any expectation of what comes with healthy boundaries
💥Saying “I got it” so I can be “proud” that I did it on my own, when in actuality I deep down believed that if I asked for help it would somehow diminish my worth

And although I learned how resilient I could be

💥I still ended up in co dependent relationships {side note, super common to want to be needed to fuel your “independence”}
💥breaking down when I had no choice to get support
💥Struggled to be alone when not in relationships
💥Had difficulty accepting gifts, support and compliments from others, even though deep down it’s what I really wanted

Powering though and having to be a hero all the time is honestly exhausting.

I get you needed to do what you had to in order to survive, because believe I did too, but babe, you are too cute to keep up this energy all the time

✍️✍️I’m inviting you to check in and see what you define as being strong and independent and how you is identify with this





coach

Just cause it was hard, doesn’t mean it always has to be that way

If your success, joy and sense of ease only came from it being a relief from all the 💩💩that is going on, you’re always going to be “waiting to exhale”

Your good ol subconscious may try to look for scenarios that feel similar so you can “get through it” so you can come out stronger and tougher on the other side

But who are you even fighting anymore?

Besides maybe your need to control everything because it’s easier to do it on your own then have someone disappoint you🤨

Or

Being strong and resilient, the “I’m independent and I don’t need you help” aka: I cannot ask and receive help

And finding new pathways can seem hard AF especially if you finally found a way that has created some sigh of relief

And I want to offer you this, be willing to allow for more ways to bring to you what it is you want.

Be open to receiving help…this does not make you weak, it gives room to expand and grow

There are ways receive and continue to get what you want without having to make it hard or compromise your time and energy

There will only be other ways if you’re willing to see and believe that there are options outside of what you already know


Top:
Ride:
Bad 🐝:

It can be extremely easy to be caught up in the extreme highs you feel after extreme lows…it almost feels good doesn’t it?

The never ending healing journey

I get it

We all have our 💩 and I am a huge advocate for healing what ails us

But I am going to invite you to answer this, is the work still working?⁉️

Are you creating and building new pathways?
Or maybe it seems like you have but yet somehow you are repeatedly “needing” some sort of familiar routine to get out of it?

And it’s not to say that having resources you are able to access isn’t healthy, because it is in fact necessary

🫂BUT it’s about your relationship to your resources and the “need” to heal…and believe me, I’ve been down this 🐇🕳

And sometimes, it can just be another way form of avoidance

How well the work is working shows up not just in the way you feel …because healing can feel pretty good at times, ya know.

But in the way it transforms the way you navigate the world. 🌏

🦚How you show up differently
⚡️What actions your taking
🗣How you’re communicating differently

And let’s be real, life, in and of itself is always going to present more work for you to unpack.

Your capacity can only grow when you meet new edges in real time…not to be confused for when you discover a new layer of yourself

But if you’ve been in hermit mode for a while, maybe it’s time to embody doing the work in real life.

A coach who is unable to disconnect their own experience of pain while working with someone, will project their own unhealed parts onto the person they are working with.

This is not to say that having shared experiences can really help someone feel seen, in fact it is super helpful in some cases as we as humans love other people who are like us, who “get us”

Beyond this, there needs to be a level of detachment from the “pain point” to be able to effectively hold space and truly give support in a meaningful and impactful way

This can be in any type of coaching, from business coaching to life coaching. People can feel like they’ve been “burned” in so many ways in life and project that crap onto their community

There is no room for victimhood to remain in a coaching dynamic.

If all you got was a paid shoulder to cry on, sorry boo boo, but that isn’t doing the work.

I’m also sorry that happened to you.

There has to be a level of self responsibility to take on doing the work.

To have the trust not only in the person you hire to work with but also trust in your ability to see the work through

If you’re on the fence about receiving high level support, ask me some burning questions or concerns below

If you’re ready to take the leap, I have 1 spot open for 1:1 coaching



*I also want to note that this post is referring to “trauma bonding” in the way we form connections with those who have a shared pain and not in the true form of bonding with the person who hurt you

You don’t tell people who are in a freeze or shut down state to go run a marathon, so why do people keep thinking it makes sense to tell people who are going full tilt to come to a full halt.

I am not dismissing that total and complete burnout does require a full stop, mind body overhaul and deep, long work to fully recover.

But if you’re not at that stage, there are ways to oscillate your energy without giving up your success

The reason most people who are 💨🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️avoiding this is because the message is 🛑 everything and overhaul your life

How is that safe at all?

I’m all about meeting people where they are. Seems simple , but it’s mind bending how many coaches and people are dead set on forcing people to do things that just is setting them up to fail

Let’s make it simple to start.

Become more present with the work you are doing, if you are struggling to be with the work, step away for 5 minutes and tune into your body and check in after

Are you a busy🐝 ? And have you ever tried this before?