Mind, Mood ALIVE

14/10/2026

You and I are highly capable.

How do I know? Because we’re exceptionally good at solving problems that don’t exist yet.

I see this a lot in my coaching work.

Brilliant people who are brilliant at anticipating, preparing, analyzing, managing and staying three steps ahead.

And these are brilliant skills to have… until we can’t turn them off…until we’re spending so much time thinking about what might happen that we miss what’s actually happening!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because I’m seeing it so often around me.

How many of us have become so good at managing our relationships and lives that we’ve forgotten how to actually LIVE them?

A recent moment with one of my clients brought this home beautifully.

It involved some unsettling news, a familiar urge to take control…and a kayak.

I wrote about it in my latest blog [ https://mindmoodalive.com/home/hidden-cost ].

What if you didn’t have to stay three steps ahead?

13/10/2026

Is “fine” already your default answer?

“How are you?” Fine.
“How’s work?” Fine.
“How are YOU, really?” …long pause.

When success starts to feel empty, I often see it show up in three places:

𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆. You’ve been the strong one, the fixer, the one everyone relies on for so long that you’ve lost touch with yourself.

𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆. Your body keeps sending signals you promise to deal with later.

𝗗𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. You know what you’re supposed to want. But what do you actually want?

Sound familiar?

I call this the 𝘼𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙂𝙖𝙥 - the distance between the life you’re living and how alive you feel inside it.

Recognizing that gap doesn’t mean you have to turn your life upside down.

But it might be time to ask yourself: Am I actually enjoying the life I’m working so hard to build?

That’s what I’ll be exploring on October 19, in "𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘀: 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲?" at 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘆, a FREE online summit hosted by Connie Cotter.

📅 October 19–November 1
🎙️ 28 speakers. Short, honest conversations about success and fulfilment.
👉 Save your seat here: https://whensuccessfeelsempty.com/wsfe-registration?am_id=alexandra7295

If you’ve been telling everyone you’re fine while quietly wondering if there’s more to life than this, come join us.

09/10/2026

I've been thinking about the women I met at Dress For Success Ottawa National Capital Region , where I recently facilitated The Aliveness Gap workshop.

What a room. What an alive conversation!

We explored the space between what we feel, know and need on the inside, and what we say, show and do on the outside - what I call The Aliveness Gap.

We talked about what it takes to build a life, provide for our loved ones, find our place, prove ourselves, and sometimes put on a smile when we're burning up inside. And boy, did we laugh! 🤣

A few things have stayed with me.

𝗪𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲? When does being so good at adapting, coping and holding everything together start costing us more than we realize? Who's paying attention to that?

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀. It can reflect how much we care, not how badly we're doing. We're providing, protecting, building something that matters. We can't always change the demands of life. But where DO we have a little more choice than we think?

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁? One woman spoke passionately about putting her children first. Another had learned, after years of putting herself last, that she needed to come first. Both made sense to me.

Maybe it's less about who comes first and more about whether we're consciously choosing, rather than automatically leaving ourselves out.

We don't always need to turn our lives upside down to feel more alive inside them. Sometimes we just need to remember that we have a say in how we live them.

Thank you, Sara Florakas, CHRL .florakas and Dress For Success Ottawa National Capital Region, for bringing us together and making space for such a genuine, meaningful conversation.

____

These are conversations worth having in more rooms. If you'd like to bring to yours, reach out.

07/10/2026

I'm speaking at a summit, and I have a feeling that this conversation might be for you.

Are you living a life that looks really good on paper…but you're quietly wondering, "𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴?"

You're successful, capable, responsible. And yet, somewhere along the way, you started feeling a little 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦.

Not falling apart, not necessarily unhappy, just 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦.

That's the conversation I'm having with my colleague Connie Cotter, a Certified High Performance Coach™, for 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘆, a FREE online summit for people who look successful and want to feel fulfilled.

My conversation is called "𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘀: 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲?" because I don't believe the answer is always to blow up your life.

Sometimes, the work is much quieter.

It's noticing where you've stopped listening to yourself... Where you're overriding what's true. Where you're living from obligation, expectation, or momentum instead of choice.

Sometimes, feeling more alive begins with simply becoming fully present to the life that's already here.

📅 October 19 – November 1
🎙️ 28 conversations | 2 new each morning
⏱️ 15–20 minutes each.

If you've ever thought, "I should be happier than I am," or "I have so much to be grateful for, so why does something still feel missing?"

Then this one is for you.

👉 Save your free seat here:
https://whensuccessfeelsempty.com/wsfe-registration?am_id=alexandra7295

06/10/2026

I wandered into the HUB for September’s Youth Ottawa Youth Ottawa's Untapped Youth Networking event and immediately felt the buzz of alive, hopeful energy.

And I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard to leave the house at 6pm on a Friday!

But every time I do, I find myself sitting next to someone with a beautiful presence - someone who makes me want to smile & keep going.

This time, that someone was Suhayb Jama, a high school senior who happened to wander into the event after boxing class because of an email he happened to receive from .

He had this huge, open smile that drew me right in. The first words out of my mouth were something my father would have said: “You have a fabulous smile!”

I always pay attention to the shift in how I feel about the future when I meet young people like Suhayb.

I feel equally energized by the thoughtful change-makers and community builders in our city, like Taylor Benjamin, a professional footballer who spoke & got us thinking about what becomes possible when we invest in talent, creativity and contribution..

At one point, a young man in the audience asked Taylor: “How do you know if you’re making all the right choices?”

“I don’t,” he replied. “I just know it’s the right NEXT step, and that’s all I can know.”

I loved that.

Maybe that’s part of what spaces like this remind us: we don’t have to know all the right steps. Sometimes the right next step is simply toward each other.

We can show up, share what we know and stay open to what we don’t. We can learn from people we might not otherwise meet - different ages, experiences & perspectives.

There is so much we can build when we show up for each other. 💕

Thank you Jesse Card Jesse Card and Adam for cultivating such a warm atmosphere of learning and connection at Untapped. The way you both show up for our community makes me smile.

Extra points for getting to see my friend, Steve Georgopoulos while I’m there! 💫

If you’re in Ottawa and haven’t been to an Untapped yet, come. You never know who you might end up sitting beside. xx

02/10/2026

02/10/2026

See more of the world. Let the world see more of you.

That's the premise of something I'm co-creating with a group of special young women.

It started with a simple question that evolved into a two-hour conversation about "exposures" with amazing female change-makers living in Nigeria and Kenya - some I've known for years, others I'd only just met.

Somewhere in that conversation, a powerful two-way question emerged that sparked our collective curiosity, creativity and excitement.

What becomes possible when you get to see more of the world - beyond your own four walls - while building the confidence, voice and relationships that allow more of the world to see you?

Well... We're going to find out!

Because this is what we're beginning to build. 💫

𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗛𝗘𝗥 is a virtual, global field trip designed to turn exposure into meaningful movement for young African women leaders.

And it's a full-contact excursion!

This isn't traditional mentorship, and it's definitely not "sit back and be inspired".

Over the next year, these young leaders and 8 seasoned women from across industries and continents - entrepreneurs, mothers, creators, changemakers and humans navigating full lives of their own - will step into each other's worlds.

A two-way exchange…steeped in different worlds, real conversations, big questions, new relationships and hopefully, some bolder moves because of them.

The Guides will share their journeys, lessons, networks and opportunities. And the young women will bring their own experiences, questions, ideas and perspectives right back.

Everyone gets exposed to something new. And if we do this right, everyone moves.

I'm absolutely thrilled to welcome Peju The Spark🔥, Nmadinobi Chloé Nwangwu, The Brand Scientist™, Dale Allen and Mary Isibor, Ph.D., as our inaugural ExposeHER Guides.

Thank you for saying YES to this fun experiment and jumping in with us from the very beginning! 💫

We'll share much more as we go.

For now, we're all a little deliriously excited to see where this takes us! 🔥

30/09/2026

What a gift to spend a little time in the RÄNDĀ VO͞O MÄVVĪN CLASS Capacity Room.

I loved listening to Sunshine Tenasco speak about building & leading with more joy, play and laughter, and Michelle Weger, with her service dog Quinn, share her perspective on pursuing meaningful goals within the very real constraints of life.

For me, it was a beautiful reminder that how we get where we're going matters - and that there's more room for our own particular kind of shine, joy, and humanness along the way.

Grateful for the conversation, the laughter, the fresh connections, and a room full of brilliant humans. 💫 Hailey Hechtman Aaron McFarlane Samantha Moonsammy

29/09/2026

I sat down recently with Leo. He's 11.

And somehow in our lively conversation, we ended up talking about some very grown-up things.

Things like pressure, perfectionism, money, expectations, vulnerability, and what it actually means to feel alive while life is happening.

One thing struck me: We can learn very early that being good means getting it right.

Getting the A+.

Meeting expectations.

Not disappointing anyone.

Holding it together.

If we're not careful, we can get so good at doing what's expected of us that we slowly lose touch with ourselves inside it.

The strange part is that everything can keep working, but the distance between who you are and how fully you're actually showing up keeps growing.

I call this the Aliveness Gap.

Toward the end of our conversation, I asked Leo what made him feel alive.

Without missing a beat or overthinking it, he started rattling off this long list of personal delights, with a huge smile on his face.

I loved how easily he knew.

Leo seemed pretty at home in his Zone of Aliveness.

And I have a feeling he'll keep that knowing close as he grows - a reminder for the rest of us to keep ours close, too.

Ambition and humanity don't have to be opposites.

You can build an extraordinary life without disappearing from yourself inside it.

And, importantly, actually be there to live it.

We talked about all of this (and a whole lot more!) in Leo Interviews. You can listen to/watch our conversation here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IU1h3NLp3I&t=363s

Thank you for the brilliant chat, Leo. ❤️ And George Rivera, thanks for being the kind of champion every young person needs to have in their corner!

25/09/2026

Do you say ‘Yes’ out of duty? Do you feel more comfortable being useful than simply being?

Many of us spend so much of our lives being productive, responsible and useful that we don’t quite know how to live without an outcome.

This came to me as a realization, and it stopped me. Oof…

Because so many capable, caring people get very good at showing up, at getting things done, being responsible, being needed.

And somewhere along the way, we stop asking: 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙄 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩?

We wanted something deeper than better habits or better boundaries. We wanted to feel grounded in ourselves again, to make choices that were actually ours, to create space for purpose, love and connection without feeling like we have to earn them first.

We realize that 𝙤𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙮𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙮.

Saying ‘Yes’ while overriding what we actually want isn’t a virtue. It’s how we slowly abandon ourselves.

And learning how to live from the inside out, to trust yourself and make choices that belong to you – that's being in the Zone of Aliveness - not blowing up your life.

—

This is what Malaika and I are exploring next in 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗥𝗼𝗼𝗺: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴.

A live, personal conversation with me & Malaika Sarco-Thomas, PhD, about the choices that shape our lives.

⏰ September 28 | 1 PM ET
📍 LinkedIn Live

Come join us. Let’s talk about what it takes to make choices that are actually yours.