People & Culture Uncorked, By Valerie Barton

Do you secretly think that you should suffer?

If you have unresolved negative beliefs stemming from your past, whether those come from emotionally immature parents or other ex-partners, you may be stuck in the mindset that you deserve to suffer and are inadvertently prolonging your own healing process post-breakup. 

Suffering might actually be so familiar to you that you might even be addicted to it, in the same way one becomes addicted to smoking.

Sometimes, suffering might even be the only thing left from the relationship, and you're afraid that if you let it go, you won't have anything of the relationship left.

In other words, it feels good to feel bad, and most of the time, it’s our limiting beliefs that are holding us back

Bringing awareness to why you might feel stuck and unable to move on from your ex is already a considerable first step in moving forward.

The next move, then, is to take action and regain power over your own healing process, and something I’ve helped many people with… and it’s easier than you might think ❤️

CLINGING ONTO A RELATIONSHIP that has no future stems from a core wound that one is not worthy of being chosen and the distorted belief that that will inevitably end in aloneness.

This typically has origins in a childhood experience of not being shown how much you mattered and how important your presence was.

Not having enough attention then creates re-enactment becoming infatuated with someone who there is no relationship potential with.

It's also a reflection of a scarcity mindset which is a belief that there aren't enough people to love you which is an illusion that becomes your experience through your belief.

This is just one example of what is called a LIMITING BELIEF.

I'm putting together a program that will help you:
✅Figure what's actually preventing you from moving on (limiting beliefs... we each have different ones.)
✅Come up with a plan for reversing these deeply engrained beliefs
✅Hold you accountable to do the work
✅Move on, be happy, fall in love with yourself again and in the end, find love again.

What it won’t do is:
❌Do the work for you
❌Tell you all of the answers
❌Allow excuses, because happinesses is available, but only if you genuinely want it badly enough.

⚠️ So… you might be wondering “can I do this on my own?”

❌ The short answer is no. You would not have read down this far if you really thought that you could do this on your own… honestly, you wouldn’t be here otherwise.

❤️‍🩹 This is a process best done with a coach as a coach can help steer you in the right direction, challenge you on your blind spots, and help you with your accountability.

This will also have a positive effect on your kids as they witness your transformation, your career, business etc. this is priceless and the benefits are endless.

📣📣I am on a mission to help as many people as I possibly can, so, I have decided to offer this program for a 60% discount 📣📣

🕗only until June 15th. 🕣

Don’t wait until to price goes up, register now.

If you’re ready to embrace your future happiness, Comment “breakthrough” below ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

My Personal Trick to Having More Gratitude 🙏
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One of the things I remind my clients of is to think about all the things that are going well, and to be grateful. We all have things that are going well… even if they are seemingly small. ❤️

One of the ways I stay in gratitude is that I have a GRATITUDE STONE in my wallet and one by my toothbrush. 🦷🪥

The one that has the biggest impact for me is the one by my toothbrush. Every time I go brush my teeth, I see it and it triggers me to think about all the things that are going well and what I’m grateful for; all while I’m brushing my teeth. It’s a wonderful way to start my morning and peaceful way to end the day. 🕊🛌

What are some of the things that you do or could be doing to remind yourself of the good things? I’d love to hear what works for you! ❤️

Drop it in the comments ⬇️⬇️⬇️

For those who may be struggling with their self confidence… here is something that might be helpful.

Assemble A Confidence Toolbox 🧰

A well-chosen array of objects can give you a major morale boost. (Provided you keep them hidden away in a drawer or a bookshelf, so that when you come upon them or seek them out, their associations are still strong. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Here's what to include in your collection:

Proof that you can be bold. Did you keep the party hat you wore when you started a conga line at a friend’s birthday 🥳 bash?
Do you have a copy of that plane ✈️ ticket from a trip you took? Letting loose makes you feel assertive, so hang on to evidence that you know how to bust out of your shell.

A photo 📸of those closest to you. Friends, family etc. Feeling loved is a source of strength. In part because it provides a social safety net. You’re more likely to take a leap when you know there are people who will catch you if you fall.

A symbol of a new endeavor, like a French-to-English dictionary 📗if you’re learning a new language, or a snapshot if you’re taking photography. You can get confidence from the fact that you’re pushing yourself. It can be anything that’s meaningful to you. ❤️

When we are going through a tough time, we tend to focus on the situation at hand and forget about all of the other aspects of our life.

Anything you can put together as a reminder that you are not your sadness.

You are a badass that will find happiness, love and excitement again ❤️🥳

I’m so proud of my client Noah, for having the courage to take the first step in creating the life she desires, for her and her kids ❤️

She came to me thinking that getting out of her current housing, career and emotional situation was impossible and that overwhelm and being stuck were par for the course.

We discovered her own beliefs that were holding her back, addressed her confidence issues, reframed her perspective and shifted her mindset.

After our initial session, there is a plan, there are feelings of hope and excitement and I can’t wait to see her succeed! 🚀🚀

The ability to start over is your superpower.

If you don’t like your friends, go make new friends.

❤️If you’re in a miserable relationship, communicate or break up.❤️

✏️If you hate your job start looking for a new job or learn new skills.

📈If you don’t like being told what to do, start your own business and be your own boss. 🚀🚀

You are under absolutely no obligation to keep repeating toxic, unhappy or unfulfilling cycles in your life. 🛑

I know it’s easier said than done to start from scratch but whether you like to admit it or not, the choice is always yours.

Having the ability to choose makes you the architect of your own life ❤️

Our beliefs are the glasses through which we see the world, and like glasses they can be changed!

As Stephen Covey said, ‘We see the world, not as it is, but as we are-or, as we are conditioned to see it.’

If we look at our beliefs closely, we will realize that most of them come from our family, schools and the society in general. Over time of behaving in accordance with our beliefs, we get massively conditioned to act in certain ways.

Just think about it – What if just some of your beliefs were not true and have been stopping you from unleashing your highest potential and living your best life?

We live our beliefs and since we always act in accordance with them, we receive the results that we expect. This is how our beliefs become our ‘facts’.

This is the reason why it is difficult to make people change their beliefs. If someone believed that they controlled their life, they would have acted consistently with this belief, making it come true. If someone believed that their life was controlled by circumstances, they used that philosophy to explain every event in their life thereby assuming a position of lack of control and reinforcing it each time.

The good news is that sometimes, just by recognizing a limiting belief, you can take its power away.

Some examples of limiting beliefs are:
Maybe you see your dream job and think, “I am not capable or qualified enough for it,” so you don’t even apply.

Maybe you have let society trick you into thinking you are bad with numbers, so then you don’t even try to manage your money.

Maybe you have been hurt in a relationship, so rather than try again, you say to yourself, “it’s not worth it.”

Do you have any limiting beliefs that might be holding you back?

Truth 🙌

Your words and actions can inspire others. Be the inspiration.