BENK

STOP RAISING ADULT DEPENDENTS

Permit your kids to try doing things by themselves.That is building independent people.

Giving them a say in little decisions concerning their lives is building decision making and assertive communication.

Letting them build little projects for themselves and their family and trusting their leadership enforces critical thinking.

Allowing them to live every stage of development without judgement is building socially adjusted individuals.

Watching your kids make mistakes and bear the consequences or fail and face the pain is teaching them strength.

Kids are fully functional from the time they are born...they only need your support to grow and thrive.

Bible says teach them the path when they are young,and they will not depart from it.

To teach is to instruct,guide and support not "to do for" them.
You cannot control how they breathe.
You cannot live their live.
Be their scaffold.

So, If you are breathing, sleeping,washing, cleaning, cooking,brushing, bathing,studying, writing and passing exams for your 10+, adolescent and adult children,Ashia.

NOT ALL CRITICISM DESERVE THE SAME RESPONSE

AURIE once stopped sharing her ideas because every time she spoke, someone had something negative to say even if she thought she had nailed it.But during the last meeting, an older mentor told her:
"If nobody criticises you, you're probably not doing much that matters."
That changed her perspective.

Some criticism is feedback. It helps you grow.
Some criticism is projection. It reveals more about the critic than about you.

The skill is learning the difference in the the content of feedback received.
Before reacting, ask yourself:
Is there truth in what was said?
Can I learn something from it?
Is this helping me improve or simply trying to pull me down?

Accept correction with humility. Reject insults with wisdom.
Growth comes from listening,and peace, from knowing that not every opinion deserves a place in your mind.

Remember: The goal is not to avoid criticism.It is to become the kind of person who can learn from criticism without being controlled by it.It is doing the innerwork.
#𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭

There is an old African proverb that says:

"The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second-best time is now."

Many people spend so much time regretting yesterday that they never build tomorrow.

The mistake you made.The opportunity you missed.The years you think you lost.

Yet wisdom teaches us that the river does not flow backwards, but it never stops moving forward.

This week, stop asking, "What if I had started earlier?"

Ask instead, "What can I start today?"

Your future does not need a perfect past.It needs a deliberate present.

Remember:

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." — Lao Tzu

Take the step.Make the call.Start the project.Learn the skill.Have the conversation.

A year from now, you will either be grateful you started today or wishing you had.

Choose growth.

Choose action.

Choose progress.

Have a purposeful and productive week ahead.

NEW WEEK REFLECTION

At the start of this new week,sit with this!

Many of us are not waiting for opportunities.
We are waiting for opportunities that require no risk, no discomfort, no learning, no failure, and no effort.
But hear me!
Unfortunately, those opportunities rarely exist.

We pray for change, yet resist the process that creates change.
We ask for open doors, then spend more time discussing why we cannot walk through them than actually taking a step forward.
Sometimes what we call "bad timing" is fear.
Sometimes what we call "lack of resources" is hesitation.
Sometimes what we call "waiting for the right moment" is simply fear of success.
And some other times what we call "fear" is refusing to be truthful to ourselves.
That may sound blunt, but it is a truth many of us need to hear.

Life is not always holding us back.
Sometimes we are holding ourselves back.
At Benk Assist, we believe growth begins when we become honest with ourselves.
Not harsh.
Not judgmental.
JUST HONEST.

Because the moment we stop making excuses, we regain something powerful: responsibility.
And responsibility gives us choices.

You may not control every challenge that comes your way this week,the economy, other people's decisions, or unexpected setbacks.

BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR RESPONSES

You can choose to learn instead of complain, to adapt instead of surrendering and to take one meaningful step instead of sitting back to analyse negative feedback or waiting for perfect conditions.

NO LIFE BECOMES BETTER BY ACCUDENT.
NO DREAM GROWS BECAUSE IT WAS WISHED DREAMT.
PROGRESS BEGINS WHEN YOU ACT ON OPPORTUNITIES THAT COME YOUR WAY.

WHERE THE PEOPLE OF ISREAL SAW DEATH AND IMPOSSIBILITY JOSHUA AND CALEB SAW A LANDMINE FLOWING WITH MILK AND HONEY.

As you enter this week, ask yourself:
"What opportunity have I been talking myself out of?"
The answer may reveal the thing you have been praying for all these years.It has always been there.The fruit amongst the thorns.

Have a purposeful and productive week.

for.pr

THE CROSSROADS

I didnot realise that helping people find themselves would sometimes mean standing at a junction myself.But they had said as a counsellor you will sometimes need a counsellor too. All other helping professionals do.That's the part they don't put in the brochures.

You pour into others and hand them a language for their pain. I watch eyes light up. You get the messages , "Coach, you changed my life."And then you walk home happy that you have impacted but some whispering though tugs your mind: but what about you?

What I know: Crossroads are classrooms not crises which inform you that you've probably outgrown that version of yourself and you need to be upgraded.Therefore, the most credible thing I do , is not to pretend that I have arrived.i just walk with the confidence that I am growing and building.

The person who teaches emotional intelligence still has to process their own emotions to manage. The person who talks about wholeness still has to do their own healing work.The one who teaches parenting,has to parent his/her own.

Hear me! it is not HYPOCRISY? No!
That is being HUMAN.

If you're at crossroads today in your career, your calling, your sense of self, Don't run!. Stand there in calmness.Look at both roads intently studying their realities. Ask the right questions reflectively. Seek help if you may but do the innerwork. TAKE NOTE:The clarity will come to the person honest enough to stay in the discomfort.

And if that crossroad has been asking;who am I really? — I wrote that book.

📖 Finding You: Negotiating Life’s Transitions Upscaling the whole.
📍 It is on amazon. Just click https://a.co/d/0dLeZIHX On selar click https://selar.com/181333fu33 and it is Mobile Money friendly just Comment Call.

📲 You may want to talk too someone.You deserve to be heard, felt and be whole and not just functional. I am a call away.

Comment CALL.I will reach out.

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#nationalday #cameroon #20may #findingyou #benkassist #leadership… | Bernice E. 🇨🇲 Happy May 20th celebrations,brothers and sisters. Today our whole nation is draped in our national colours.There is singing, dancing pomp and pegeantry in most areas.The military and civilian match pass are always very interesting display of why we should be proud Cameroonians.The celebrati...