27/02/2026
BREAKING 🚨
UEFA have officially launched the Bottler FC Champions League Conference.
They didn’t draw a bracket.
They assembled trauma.
Right side looking like:
• Atlético — Madrid’s annual side quest
• Spurs — 2019 DVD still loading
• Leverkusen — “Almost” heritage club
• Barcelona — 11 year UCL sabbatical
• Arsenal — European interns
• Newcastle — Tourism trip
• Sporting — Professional heartbreakers
This isn’t a knockout stage.
It’s a Bottler FC alumni reunion.
Road to Budapest?
More like Road to Group Therapy.
At this point UEFA owes us licensing fees.
25/01/2014