Mélina PELE Coaching.

Secure your spot for the Next Clarity Walk - Link in Bio

3 benefits of a clarity walk with me in a park when you have life changing appointement.

Join the next walk - in group or solo - link in bio.

Nous sommes impostrices et c'est une bonne nouvelle. Maintenant on va pouvoir résister.

Permission to complain !

Permission to complain !

Whether you're a humanitarian worker in the field or a human rights lawyer behind your desk, you're almost certainly making this one fundamental mistake that's costing you your mental health: you forbid yourself from complaining.

That's because you're ignoring the Ring Theory : Comfort In, Dump Out, developed by psychologists Susan Silk and Barry Goldman. — the key to lasting sustainably in your work and continuing to change the world.

Good news! In this post, I'm going to give you permission to complain, and even tell you how to complain.

A starting premise. "Complaining" or "not being allowed to break down" are the words used by almost every person I coach.

What's really being said is:

- "I'm not allowed to let my emotions overwhelm me, I have to stay professional."

- "It's indecent to indulge my little troubles when survivors of the worst violence are still standing, still fighting."

What it imlies is the shame around emotions, the shame around vulnerability instilled by the system.

It shows the false belief that there's a hierarchy of suffering.

The problem: denying your emotions opens the door to cynicism, loss of meaning, compassion fatigue, and toxic avoidance strategies.

To keep having an impact, to remain a conscious ally, you need to complain… but not just anyhow: according to the framework of the Ring Theory.

It consists of concentric circles. All share the same center: the most affected person of a traumatic event.

The different circles represent the people around them, positioned according to their relationship : close family, helpers, medical staff, witnesses, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, authorities.

The rule is simple.

You're a resource for the people in the circle inside yours — on your left. You confort In.

The people in circles further out, on your right, become your resource people. You dump out.

Priority for care and attention goes to the most affected person at the epicenter of the rings.

And at the same time, there are resource people for you too. Look to your right.

Ideally, your organization has set up supervision. If you're lucky, you can debrief with supportive colleagues. Unfortunately, that's not always the case.

It's often up to you to identify where you sit in the concentric circles, and where your resource people are.

It's on one of those circles, on your right, that you can find me.

See you soon,

I'm Mélina, and I'm your ally in supporting your commitment — without sacrificing your mental health.

It's on one of those circles, on your right, that you can find me.

See you soon,

I'm Mélina, and I'm your ally in supporting your commitment — without sacrificing your mental health.

It's a wrap!

After three years, I'm stepping down as Secretary General of .association.

I came back to the Monastery (five times !) to revive old memories and create new ones. I met three student cohorts — talking career tips, mental health, and what makes this community what it is. Watching some of them join the advocacy group, the Climate Justice Task Force, and even the Board (.m_, Clarisse J. Fagard, Jordan Thorne, Elisabeth Satalan, Astrid Othelius) has been one of the best parts of this role.

I got to work alongside two great presidents, Hélène Bauwens and Diego Naranjo, and to meet EMAlumni everywhere from the Brussels Hub to the Berlin Hub, and at the Climate Change Conference in Athens with the Global Campus Alumni (GCA).

I helped honour three EMA award recipients — charlemagne Gomez, Ad.E. Andra MATEI and Thomas Coombes — and helped raise funds for Afghans in Crisis Network (AiCN), supporting Afghan families' exit visas from Pakistan, and for the EMA Scholarship Fund. That's the part I'm proudest of.

None of it happened alone. Thank you to Fiona Servaes for communications, and to Anita Amendra, Joana Gameiro, Clarisse J. Fagard, Merel Cosijn, and Geanina Turcanu for the work on mental health and community.

Thanks to Chiara Altafin, PhD for the invitation to the Human Rights Awareness blog, and to the Global Campus of Human Rights — especially Orla Ní Cheallacháin, Judit Villena Rodó , Inge Zwart, and Imke Steinmann — for the warm welcome all along.

But this is not a farewell, EMAluma one day...EMAlumna forever. As my 2007 cohort is about to celebrate it's 20th anniversary, I intent to be back on the Lido very soon ...who's with me Adam Jacobi Møller Penny Papaspyropoulou ?

Hey Clarity walkers !

Tomorrow the clarity walk in English is at 8 AM

I'd like to work on guilt 😇.

👉To identify it in our body and to unwire it.

👉To get immunised .

Imagine :

💭just feeling neutral after making a difficult choice.

💭 feeling calm after saying no

💭 even having fun and enjoying saying no, not doing what is expected of you

Not giving a fu- 🤗

Wouldn't it be awesome and emancipative ?

Come figure it out for yourself, tomorrow at 8. Clara Zetkin Park. Book your spot - Link in Bio

Last wednesday I hosted a networking event for FemEC | Female Entrepreneurs and Creatives in Leipzig and I asked the participants this very simple and casual question :

“ What's the habit you adopted that changed your life?

I was told about morning routines, miracle mornings and the best way to “optimise” oneself.

“Optimise”

Just that word broke my heart.

I am deeply worried about our generations that need to optimise everything, perform, have a ROI on every aspects of our lives.

When it was my turn, I answered : going to sleep early …

Like 22:00, sometimes even earlier.

And looking back , it has been the one and only habit that I have been sustainably holding and that has changed my life.

For a simple reason : this is a minimum requirement for me to be able to regulate my nervous system.

This has had a great impact :

- on my motherhood : so much less triggered, so much less yelling

_ on my relationships : again, so much less triggered, more patience and more clarity

- on my general wellbeing : basic, one cannot function when sleep deprived

More easily said than done ? I get it .

It is not easy to go to bed early, when somewhere in your head you believe you must “optimize” yourself, be productive all the time.

But you can’t be productive if you’re burned out !

So tonight, you might want to :

💫avoid staring at a screen ( from 7 pm onwards)

💫go to bed before 11 pm

💫read a couple of pages of your book

💫and sleep 😴

Oh and you know what else helps you sleep better : walking in nature : so that might be your call to join my next clarity walk in the Park :)

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Hi ! I am Mélina, I help you find clarity by walking in a park in Leipzig. It is a 90 min semi- meditative, somatic walk to reach clarity. The clarity walks are in English or French. => check the dates of the next walks in my bio

📷 : The wild garlic in bloom in Leipzig.

Tu retournes la même question dans ta tête depuis des jours.

Tu as demandé leur avis à trois personnes.
Tu as fait des listes de pour et de contre.
Tu as dormi dessus.

Et tu es toujours au même endroit.

Ce n'est pas parce que tu manques de lucidité.

C'est parce que la clarté ne vient pas de la tête — elle vient du corps.

Quand le système nerveux est en tension, les pensées tournent en boucle. C'est mécanique.

Aucune analyse supplémentaire ne peut dénouer ça.

Ce qui fonctionne ?

Bouger. Respirer. Se reconnecter au vivant.

10 000 Steps to Clarity, c'est une session de coaching en marchant dans le Clara Zetkin Park à Leipzig — 90 minutes en français, pour passer des ruminations à un prochain pas concret.

Tu repars avec une direction. Pas imposée. La tienne.

👇 Réservation en commentaire