movement and words

This just in - we are multifaceted, it's cool to be soft, forearms contain depth and multitudes, get yourself to Pallant House Gallery it's only a hour on the train from brighton, five star reviews for practicing yoga with Flo De and Sarah Williams (obviously), I can't always write coherently but I try my best, I transcended earth after accidentally relaxing.... second substack essay this year, second post on Instagram in five days, enjoy xx

(link in bio and all that)

on the longest car journey of my life, started a list of loves and hates influenced by Annie May Rice. once you get going you kind of can't stop...

my second subby in two years, expect my short book of essays in 2056 xx

remember when I used to write poetry and share it on the internet for fun, without shame? no me neither, but this month I've been part of the BEST writing club with and and it's given me so much and I miss that part of myself. the energy of tonight's session felt deep and open and generous and bordering on something beyond, a bit uncomfortable but also beautiful. these women are electric, their writing is magnetic, exploring and sharing and receiving together is a gift in what has otherwise been a truly hideously awful time for my brain. and before I doubt it I felt the urge to share my piece OUTLOUD and ONLINE. probably trying to get too much metaphor in, probably doesn't make sense but I never write to make sense I do it for the vibes. ok bye x

Interesting and some kind of lovely synchronicity for it to be Earth Day today, after spending the weekend with friends and strangers, in the Welsh countryside, eating fresh and plentiful food, moving, chanting, sauna-ing, living. Less doing, more being was the overall vibe. Less trying hard, more finding pleasure and contentment in simplicity. And a group of people who shared how much it meant to them, to be as they were, to not feel they had to show up in a certain way or strive for more.

And of course arguably all of this was a massive luxury. I paid to travel to Wales, to not think about cooking for a weekend, to take part in the most wondrous practices with a truly brilliant yoga teacher. Abundance that so many do not receive. But equally, all those things feel like how we could/should/might be living, if we focused on different visions of life. Like, what do people really need? (safety, shelter, food, rights, love, compassion). Then, what brings us contentment? How does it feel to do and want less? And - in my having less, could others have more? There's enough to go round, that's the point, except there's not because we complicated things and got greedy.

This weekend was probably the first time I've felt genuinely present and relaxed for years. It makes me wonder what we're all doing, and what we could be feeling instead.

A newsletter I read today from Yrsa Daley-Ward echoes some of what I've been reflecting on (synchronicity, again): "We build versions of ourselves in response to chaos, disappointment, danger, or neglect. It helped us survive, but it’s also the reason so many of us are so damn exhausted. Here’s the wildest thing I know, and I'm still coming to terms with it…

This isn’t my real(est) life. Or your real(est) life (probably)..."

Sorry there's no CTA or succinct message here. But I think I'm saying this Earth Day, to reflect on what your real(est) life could be. Or, what OUR real(est) life could be. Because we so badly need that.

Elena said "Something magic unfolds as we return to the simplicity of life in nature... and practices that re-enliven our sense of belonging and interconnectedness with one another."

So maybe that can be the task. How to re-enliven your sense of belonging and interconnectedness. Start from there - and keep going.

guess what.

yes im always late to the party, but I've been busy doing not a lot xx

teaching my LAST CLASS in Norwich (for now) this coming Tuesday ✨ 7.30-8.30am at Happy Om ✨ I would love to see you there, I would love for you to join in with the dance.

images:

Mary Wigman's dancing hands by Charlotte Rudolph 1928
Art by performer and plastic artist
Towards the light by

words by Alan Watts

"Life is a dance, and when you are dancing you are not intent on getting somewhere... The meaning and purpose of dancing is the dance" 🤸🏼‍♀️

Today I listened to my piano teacher play different intervals, listening for the space between the keys and the sounds that make them recognisable. Are they close or are they near? Is the sound bright and cohesive (thirds and sixths), or clashy and somehow at odds (seconds and sevenths)?

The thing that got me today, is how she described the interval of the fifth. You know it, because it sounds like longing. There's a bareness to it, something lost. Nostalgia maybe. A dreamy yearning.

Logically, this makes sense. You could put another note in the middle to fill out the sound and play a chord. And it's true, piano playing is logical, it follows patterns, there's a language to learn, a rhythm to follow. But it's also expressive and emotional. It speaks to the soul.

I LOVE that interplay of logic and magic. Theory and artistry. I love that just playing two keys can make me FEEL something. I love that sounds, like words, like movements = a feeling. I love that there are endless combinations. That each of us will express in our own unique ways. That once we start to understand a little, we can start to make it our own.

And I goddamn love that longing fifth.

I have 5000 photos of the sky and the sea and the view from different windows and mirrors and plants and the great outdoors and shards of light and spaces that feel open, but not empty. A reminder of the word and feeling that follows me around, the need for and love of, spaciousness.

I teach people to create space in their bodies. At work space on a page lets the words 'breathe'. I routinely move things around or give them away from a need for more space, I have to leave the house multiple times a day to feel it. My preference is always more space. I do things probably a bit slower than the average. I love 2 hours at the gym to play and do different types of movement with breaks for gazing out the window or listening to a good song, instead of the 40mins in and out on a lunch break. If you want me to create a message that speaks to your business, its essence, its impact - sure I can try my best to do it within your allocated hours, but give me some uninterrupted days of thinking time, research, experimentation and editing and I'll have crafted something we can truly be proud of. Waking up early enough for reading, writing, moving, cleaning, drinking coffee, before the responsibilities of the day is my ambition but I also need the sleep.

It's weird that a lot of the above feels like a luxury, because we operate in a world where the pace is speed, is deadlines, is squeezing every last little bit out of you, is meeting things with the same amount of energy no matter your context, is jumping from one to the next, is do more, is maximise your productivity, is hyper focused on the individual and when it doesn't work, the individual is somehow at fault.

I don't think it's working. Do you? But in the meantime, how can we create the space with what's in front of us? How can we challenge the way things are done, the way systems are run, the way our worth is measured by our output and not every little intricate thing that goes into that? And all the other things that make us whole, that make us human.

Set your boundaries. Speak your mind. Know your worth. Relish the spacious moments. Remember time is not linear. And remind me to never go back to a 5 day week 😘