Gems Guiding Light

Gems Guiding Light Holistic Grief Coach What is grief? Many of us have experienced loss in our lives, grief is the natural emotional response from a significant loss. Gem x

While we all will experience it at some point in our lives, everyone grieves differently, there is no right or wrong way. Whether we want it to or not grief has a huge impact on our lives, especially our nervous system. It affects us individually as a person, it impacts our lives and relationships, and it can cause a knock-on effect on our health including problems like depression, anxiety and illnesses, if we don’t take care of ourselves. Our process to adapt to a significant loss can vary from one of us to another, the same as what comes up for us along the way is different. Many different factors in our lives can affect our journey with grief, like our beliefs and values or how we were raised. Grief doesn’t have a time line, time doesn’t know how to heal, it doesn’t make our grief any easier or help us to cope any differently. We are not just limited to feeling sad, we can feel many different emotions all at once. It’s important to know that they are not bad emotions, they are trying to speak to us just like our body does through our nervous system. Grief is like the ocean waves, emotions come in waves. They are unstoppable, but we can learn to ride them along the way. What is a holistic grief coach? I am a fellow griever and a holistic grief coach in training. As a holistic grief coach, I support you so you feel seen and heard, we develop self-regulation skills, reconnecting with your values, goals and life purpose and help you to reclaim your life. You may have tried other traditional therapies which haven’t worked for you or maybe you haven’t tried any. Sometimes for some of us who have used traditional therapies like counselling there may not be safety or a supported outcome as you talk about your grief and are triggered or re-traumatised. However, in holistic grief coaching we will acknowledge the grief together with resource which will allow your mind, body, spirit and nervous system, safety and compassion. We don’t fix our grief; we acknowledge it and bring awareness and insight to it. Accepting our journey where it is at.

16/09/2026

Sometimes we can trick ourselves into thinking we are being strong if we carry on, if we avoid letting it in. Our body protects us and shuts it all out to keep us safe.

To face grief is so hard, to accept and acknowledge it’s there. It takes great strength to feel and allow grief. It is ok that you are grieving. What you are going through is hard and you are so strong for facing it

❤️

There is a lot going around, what you should say and what you shouldn’t say to someone grieving. These are helpful in th...
14/09/2026

There is a lot going around, what you should say and what you shouldn’t say to someone grieving. These are helpful in their own right. For me, I personally think there never is the perfect thing to say. If you are trying to help, I appreciate that. As humans we don’t have all the answers. What someone wants to hear or needs to hear may be completely different to the next person. It is about context and having the compassion and understanding to meet people where they are at and support them the way that we know how, that’s what makes you unique. We are all individual and all have a different grief experiences and relationships with the person or people we have lost.

My own personal opinion, is that I want you to be able to say anything to me, even if its not perfect. Don’t be afraid to ask me about them and say their name. I would rather you said something than nothing at all. Don’t be afraid to speak.

While there are phrases that are taboo or insensitive or inappropriate, sometimes we are just simply lost for words and we need to use our own understanding to respond appropriately.

Please note this is my own personal opinion. You are entitled to have your own.

When we experience loss, our brain goes through a seismic shift. Our survival mode is activated and our responses become...
11/09/2026

When we experience loss, our brain goes through a seismic shift. Our survival mode is activated and our responses become exactly that, survival. When we go through loss & trauma our neural connections are rewired. These are the links that allow communication between the brain and the body.

During this time, our brain becomes our surveillance system. Our brain automatically scans for threats at the same time as we continue searching for our loved one. This is in part why we are physically and mentally exhausted with grief. Our brain becomes hyperactive, constantly scanning ad searching.

Your system is overloaded, working overtime just to try and keep you safe. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Slowly and safely we can start to re-calibrate ourselves, with support.

Continuing bonds gives us the space and support to continue the relationship we have with a loved one who has passed awa...
09/09/2026

Continuing bonds gives us the space and support to continue the relationship we have with a loved one who has passed away.
It doesn’t mean that everything is ok, it will never be the same. It doesn’t mean that we are over the loss or that we are fixing our grief.
When we look at continued bonds through our sessions together, we find new meaningful ways to continue connection with them. We honour and remember them.
Continuing bonds help us grow around grief with a coping strategy for deep loss, and it can bring comfort to some of us.

07/09/2026

Life is always changing, always flowing. Even if it feels like we are taking 1 step forward and 2 back.

Loss has a way of taking what once felt normal, a life that had a special person in. Leaving it very different when they are gone. It isn’t just one loss, it’s many that change our everyday life. It will never be the same.

Sometimes it’s easy to think of grief as loosing a loved one and that being the loss. But it’s not just our person that ...
04/09/2026

Sometimes it’s easy to think of grief as loosing a loved one and that being the loss. But it’s not just our person that we miss. It’s all the moments, before, during and a future we should have had with them. It’s all the occasions and celebrations, holidays and small every day moments that become a part of it.

It is missing who they are and everything about them. But also feeling the losses they have. Times they have missed out on and should have been here. Like both my parents who worked hard all their life and never got to enjoy retirement.

It is so much more than missing them, it’s about everything.

02/09/2026

You are seen and heard. Grief isn’t about fixing or stopping our loss. It doesn’t have to be fighting and avoiding our feelings. It can be feeling safe and supported enough to let our grief be, make space around it and grow with our loss. Right beside it.

One of the ways our body and brain react to grief is that we don’t just physically experience pain, the emotional pain w...
31/08/2026

One of the ways our body and brain react to grief is that we don’t just physically experience pain, the emotional pain we feel when we are separated from our loved through death acts as an alarm system. The anterior cingulate cortex lights up in the same way when we experience a physical pain. Emotional pain isn’t just a thought or a feeling we pass through, but it is a real reaction to grief that is felt physically by this part of the brain and in turn in our body.

So, if you’ve been told its just in your head, or you feel like your heart is actually breaking in 2 after the loss. It isn’t just an explanation; a metaphor or just something you say. Your brain sees & feels this pain as real.

This year we have had so many huge public losses that have had an impact on grief. Whether that be mourning for our idol...
30/08/2026

This year we have had so many huge public losses that have had an impact on grief. Whether that be mourning for our idols or role models or reminding us of losses that are closer to home and are personal.

One thing that comes to my mind today is that grief is experienced by so many of us and we have had so much more discussion and awareness about grief now more than ever. Which is another reason why today matters, as today is National Grief Awareness Day 2026.

As we mourn the loss of Dolly Parton and many many others today, one thing is for sure. We are not alone when it comes to grief. Let’s keep talking about them.

As Dolly Parton said, ‘you never do replace people that you’ve lost, but you learn to live with that loss’. That is the best that we can do.

With love ❤️

There’s many things this little girl didn’t know, a lot of loss and pain. And amongst all of it, she found love and purp...
21/08/2026

There’s many things this little girl didn’t know, a lot of loss and pain. And amongst all of it, she found love and purpose ❤️

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