The vast majority of us lead busy lives these days. So often you hear the words ‘I am feeling stressed’ something I rarely heard when I was younger. I believe it is often an overused word. What people are experiencing is pressure rather than stress and pressure is good for us, as with most things in moderation. The difference between pressure and stress is that pressure challenges us to achieve or do something. It can give us purpose, raise energy levels and even be fun. Deep down we still feel an element of control and believe what we are working towards is achievable.
Stress is where we feel tired, lose motivation and confidence. We cannot sleep or our appetite for food diminishes or the opposite we comfort eat. We feel we cannot cope, the situation is hopeless we are ‘running on empty’ and we have that sinking feeling which we cannot get out of. This ultimately can lead to depression and burnout.
It is quite normal to have days which do not go our way but if we have too many of them and we suffer some of the above symptoms this could lead to burnout.
So how do we deal with this? The first step is to accept it, accept where you are. To step back and accept that you are out of balance, it is probably affectinging everything in your life and that balance needs to be regained if you are to get your life where you want it to be .
You need to identify what the underlying cause of your burnout situation. Is it your work, work/life balance, taking on too much, lacking assertiveness to saying ‘no’ where appropriate etc.?
If we are working very long hours we probably are not listening to our body, neglecting getting enough exercise, not eating properly or drinking too much which obviously does not help.
One option is to take a break. Have a holiday, a short break, or just stop and change your routine. Have what I call ‘non scheduled time’ where you just live in the moment and do what you want to do in that moment.
We need to reflect and examine our values and goals. Are we even conscious of our values, do we have any goals?
If you do not know where to start or think you need help, working with a coach might be the solution. If you need help give me a ring on 023 80610836, send me an email, [email protected] or check out my website, www.onevisionlifecoaching.co.uk
REMEMBER YOU HAVE CHOICES
Have you got your life where you want it to be? Are you happy in your career, your relationships, your hobbies, the way you feel about yourself etc? Probably none of us have the perfect life, we are not where we want to be in all aspects of our life.
So what do we do about it? For a lot of us we feel trapped and powerless, We accept our situation or are apathetic, lazy, just sit around and cannot be bothered to do anything about it. We also may lack confidence we can do anything about it. We drift through life being pessimistic, feeling unfulfilled and not believing that life is there to be enjoyed.
To overcome this apathy or to help develop our confidence the starting point is to realise we all have choices. When you understand this you start to realise that you have more power than you previously believed you had. You take ownership of your life. To a large extent It is what you make it.
An opening question I often use when working with a new client is ‘What do you want?’ You need to be clear what is it that you want, whatever area of your life you are unhappy with. When you are clear what it is that you want the next step is to realise it is now up to you. You need to focus and ACT. You have to take ownership of your life. What do I now CHOOSE to do.
If you do this you will start to develop enthusiasm, drive, and a feeling of being more in control of your life rather than life controlling you. It will feel like a new beginning, your life will have purpose and you will develop positive feelings. It doesn't mean everything will go your way. It is not that simple but if things do go wrong do not look at it in this way but view it as your current situation and it is back to you to make choices what you do next. Ask yourself ‘what are my options?’ which one of ones do I choose? Act upon your choice.
Your life is what you make it. Realise you do have choices and you have to take ownership to get your life closer to what you want it to be. You need to be clear what you want, and then focus, make plans and get into action. If you do this you will feel more in control of your life, you will have more purpose, direction, enthusiasm, and greater confidence.
One Vision Life Coaching
GAINING CLARITY AND MOTIVATION TO ACHIEVE GOALS.
So often we become demotivated and life becomes stale because we do not have clarity as to what we want and lose our motivation. We just drift through life, deep down knowing that we are not having a fulfilling life but accept it, believing there is nothing we can do about it.
The starting point is realising that there is something you can do about it but it is down to you. You have to accept ownership and responsibility for your own life, your own happiness.
You therefore need to start from where you are now and spend some time deciding what you want. I often use a tool called ‘The Wheel of Life’ with clients to help them to understand how satisfied they currently are in key areas of their life, moving on to what areas they want to improve upon.
I will get clients to focus on what they want, not what they do not want. I may get them to visualise what will be in place when they arrive at where they want to be. I get them to describe it and then help them to write a clear, specific goal. I may suggest they use a vision board if they are inspired more by something visual rather than words.
The goals need to be something that you really want not what you believe you should do or what you believe others want you to do. It is your life, take ownership, what do you REALLY want. Make it compelling to you. It is at this stage that you will increase your motivation.
In carrying out this process you may have some conflicts so you need to keep in mind what is important to you to help you work out if the goal is realistic and if you are prepared to do what is necessary to achieve it.
Finally take action and review your goals regularly to ensure you are still on target.
Some people find this difficult to do on their own and those that are serious about their life work with a coach. If you think I can help you ring on 023 80610836 or send me an e-mail [email protected]
One Vision Life Coaching