Kristen Birt - Coach & Mentor

This week wasn't really about weight loss.
It was about learning to interpret myself differently.

For years I believed I needed:
• more discipline
• more motivation
• more willpower
• more consistency

What I actually needed was understanding.
Understanding why my nervous system was exhausted.
Understanding why I was constantly overriding my own needs.
Understanding why so many of the solutions that worked for other people never seemed to work for me.

The more clearly I understood what was happening underneath the surface, the less I felt the need to fight myself.

If this week's content has resonated, perhaps the next step isn't fixing - perhaps it's simply noticing a little more closely.
Noticing your thoughts.
Noticing your body.
Noticing your emotions.
Noticing your capacity.
Noticing the environments you're trying to function within.

Sometimes clarity starts there.

This week is National Volunteers' Week, and it feels like the perfect opportunity to celebrate something that has been part of my life for nearly 18 years.

Every week, I head to a local riding school and coach groups of children as part of Riding for the Disabled Association (RDA). Not because I have to. Because I want to.

A few years ago, someone asked me why I'd been able to sustain volunteering at RDA for so long when so many other commitments, roles, and priorities have changed over the years.

The answer wasn't that I love coaching.
It wasn't that I love horses.
It wasn't even that I love working with children.
It was the people.

There is something very special about being part of a community of volunteers. People from different backgrounds, different ages, different professions, and different life experiences, all choosing to show up for the same purpose.

In a world where so much is transactional, volunteering feels different.
Nobody is paid to be there.
Nobody is forced to be there.
People give their time because they care.

Week after week, I get to work alongside individuals who bring patience, kindness, humour, commitment, and generosity. Together we help create opportunities for children to build confidence, develop skills, experience joy, and achieve things they may never have thought possible.

Of course our riders benefit from that support, but the truth is that volunteers gain something too.
Connection.
Community.
Purpose.
Friendship.
Perspective.

For me, RDA has never just been somewhere I volunteer. It feels like a community of people working together towards something bigger than themselves.

This Volunteers' Week, I'm incredibly grateful to every volunteer I've had the privilege of working alongside over the years. Thank you for everything you bring.

And if you've ever wondered whether volunteering is worth it, I can honestly say that some of the most rewarding experiences of my life have started with simply showing up and being part of something that matters.

One of the biggest mistakes I made for years was assuming the visible problem was the real problem.

The weight.
The exhaustion.
The overwhelm.
The inconsistency.
The emotional eating.
The lack of energy.
The frustration.

I kept trying to change the outcome without understanding what might be driving it. That approach kept me stuck.

Everything began changing when I stopped asking: "What's wrong with me?"
and started asking: "What is this communicating?".

That single shift led me to start paying attention to:
• my brain
• my nervous system
• my body
• my emotions
• my capacity
• my environment

And what I discovered was that many of the things I thought were problems were actually signals. The more clearly I understood those signals, the easier it became to make decisions that genuinely supported me.

The weight loss happened afterwards.
Understanding came first.

Maybe it's not lack of willpower.

Maybe you're tired of carrying the responsibility for problems that were never entirely yours to solve.

For years I thought I needed to become more disciplined.
More organised.
More motivated.
More resilient.

What I actually needed was to understand what was happening underneath the surface.

When you're running on adrenaline, suppressing emotions, ignoring body signals, pushing through exhaustion, and constantly adapting yourself to fit environments that don't work for you... no amount of willpower is going to solve that.

The challenge isn't always doing more. Sometimes it's noticing what you've had to disconnect from in order to keep going.
Maybe that's your body.
Maybe it's your emotions.
Maybe it's your capacity.
Maybe it's your needs.
Maybe it's your nervous system.

Sometimes clarity begins when we stop asking: "What's wrong with me?", and start asking: "What else might be contributing to this experience?".

Tomorrow I'll share one of the frameworks that helped me start making sense of this.

25kg lost.

Not because I finally found the right diet.
Not because I became more disciplined.
Not because I found the perfect routine.

A year ago, I was trying to solve the wrong problem. I thought I needed:
• more motivation
• more consistency
• more willpower
• more self-control

What I actually needed was reconnection.

For years, I lived almost entirely in my head. I ignored body signals. Suppressed emotions. Pushed through exhaustion. Forced myself into environments that didn't fit. Stayed in fight-or-flight so long that it felt normal.

Externally, I looked (mostly) capable. Internally, I was carrying a level of nervous system strain that I didn't fully understand.

This week, I'll be sharing what actually changed. Not the weight loss - the understanding that came before it. Because when things start making sense internally, the decisions you make externally often change too.