Equip for Life Coaching

What do you know of your limits – emotional, physical, mental and spiritual? What is the necessary amount of space you need to function at your best and not collapse into a gibbering stressed heap or explode into a crazy raging person?

How are you protecting that space with good boundaries? 

We learn much from paying attention to when things go wrong and our boundaries have been crossed.

 If we choose to live stretched to the limit in all areas, there will be no room for absorbing any extra crises or demands that turn up unexpectedly. 

How do you feel when you are heading towards overwhelm? Where do you feel that in your body?

Lots more in my latest blog, link in bio.

Saying 'no' well...how often do we prevaricate, wobble all round the houses, or say we will think about it when we really want to say 'no'?
In reality, being able to give a clear and direct, honest and kind 'no' is better for both us, and for the person asking. We all know where we stand that way.

How to say no well - this is definitely a skill that can be learned with practice. Understanding our limits, within the current season we are in, is important to ensure we don't live without margin and cause ourselves to burnout.
What we say 'no' to will vary, but it is always worth pausing to ask ourselves what the TRUE cost is...the time, energy, ongoing commitment, planning, follow up etc. Do we have capacity for this?
And if not, saying no can be uncomfortable, but is the benefit of saying no worth that discomfort?
Lots more tips and food for thought in my latest blog, link in bio.

When has 'ought' cropped up in your self-talk this past week? And to what extent has that caused you to say 'yes' to an unwanted commitment?
There are many reasons to say yes to things, and often what we are asked to do is valid and important. But equally, we need to be aware that do not have infinite resources of time, mental, emotional or physical energy.

Perhaps next time you notice 'ought' cropping up in your self talk, pause and ask yourself:

…Am I ignoring my own needs because of negative tapes that have stuck to me from the past?

…What do I really want in this situation?

…What am I trying to prove, and to whom?

…If nobody were disappointed or let down, would I prefer to say yes or no?

…Would I be comfortable asking the same question of someone else?

…Is this a precedent I want to set, and if not, where would I draw the line?

More in my most recent blog, link in bio.

How often do you say yes to something because you feel you OUGHT to...when you would really like to say no? Perhaps your self-talk sounds like one of these:
“I ought to say yes because…
..I am or I want to be seen as an obedient/good/helpful/kind/hardworking/…../person
..I don’t want to let the other person down
..I don’t want to disappoint or be seen as a disappointment
..I want to be needed and valued
..I want to prove myself"

There is no judgement here. Nor is this clear cut or binary. But until we notice what is actually going on it is hard to make different choices. So this week, simply notice the 'oughts' and see what surfaces.

More in my most recent blog, link in bio.

What do you need, in body, mind and soul? And how are you protecting those resources?

It is important that we learn how to protect that which is most important to us, and to steward the resources that we have well. That will probably have changed in the last decades. What do you know of your mental energy levels, your physical needs to protect and nurture your body well, your emotional resource requirement for all you are facing in this life season?

And how are you protecting those precious resources?

Our rest needs vary with different life seasons; more on different types of rest here. And our boundaries can change as our life season changes too. But the core principle here is understanding what it is that is most important to me. That will allow me to make proactive and wise choices about how I expend my energy and what I say yes and no to.

We have finite resources - despite what we often subconsciously believe - and that means being aware of and proactive in protecting those resources wisely so that we can continue to bring the best of ourselves to who we are and what we do.

Creating boundaries starts with self awareness - what are you walling in and walling out?
See my latest blog for more, link in bio.

What I was walling in and walling out.....a line from Robert Frost's famous poem.
Boundaries...can be a tricky subject at the best of times.

It strikes me that in that phrase from the poem lies the secret to understanding our boundaries and why they are indeed important.

How can we build a wall unless we know where to build it?
Why would we go to the bother of building a wall unless we had something to protect?
And what is it that we are trying to protect?

And there it is - for me, the key to boundaries. Once you know what it is you want to protect - what it is you are walling in - creating boundaries makes perfect sense, and ensures that you are clearer on what you are walling out.

Creating boundaries starts with self awareness - what is most important to you? What are you walling in and walling out?
More in my latest blog, link in bio.

Are you looking for a Christian Life Coach? Perhaps you are doing a wee trawl around the ol’ internet looking for you-are-not-quite-sure-what but you know that life is not the way you want it to be.

You identify perhaps that you are not living at peace within yourself.

A lack of self-worth and self-acceptance rears its ugly head far more often than you would like. You know the theory of what the Bible says about being loved and made in God’s image, and that He has a purpose for you. 

But what does that actually mean in practice? 

I can help you explore that, and lots more. For me, bringing God into the coaching conversation is always a real adventure and allows space for God to do the work of transformation. For Christian clients I work with, having a safe and Biblically based space to explore life, purpose, values, mindset and next steps can be really profound.

Is this something that you are looking for? If so, get in touch, link in bio. I'd love to hear from you.

Spring is coming. And like all things, this wintering season too will pass.
Hang in there. Pay attention to your body and resist fighting this season.

Essential work and life commitments notwithstanding, what can you stop doing that allows rest?

What can you start doing that prompts and promotes restoration?

Where can you withdraw more into a metaphorical cave and simply allow yourself to be?

This winter has felt especially long, bleak and dreary. An acceptance that this is both a physical and a metaphorical wintering season can bring the clarity and perspective that we need to take care of ourselves today.

As Katherine May writes, in her excellent book Wintering:

"A great deal of life will always suck. There will be moments when we’re riding high, and moments when we can’t bear to get out of bed. Both are normal. Both, in fact, require a little perspective…the only moment we can depend on is the present: that which we know and sense right now.”

Curious? Want to know more? See my latest blog on being in a wintering season, link in bio.