North Thoresby Cricket Club

This week’s player from the past is - W***y Wright

William Wright was easily influenced. A once mild mannered schoolboy with a love for cricket, W***y found himself mixed up with a group of local hippies, although he never really understood their cause. He still turned out for North Thoresby on regular occasions, although his colourful headbands did little to curry favour with traditionalist local umpires, despite him being a gifted fast bowler.

W***y would always be found carrying a bowl of peas which he would eat and offer to anyone he met. This was due to a misunderstanding amongst his new, free spirited friends to “give peace a chance”.

His dalliance with the free love movement didn’t last though, and he later settled down and took up golf.

Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, no game tonight.

This week’s player from the past is - Johnny Flockton

Johnny “3 Tabs” Flockton was a ladies man. Throughout the 1970s he worked in the women’s clothes section of a Grimsby department store, where Johnny would regularly be caught with his trousers down in the changing rooms with local housewives.

A prolific chain smoker, Johnny would sometimes have 3 ci******es on the go at the same time. When asked why, he once said “to remind me of how many birds I’m seeing tonight”. Different times...

On the pitch, Johnny was as useful with both hands as he was off it. Sadly, his smoking and womanising eventually caught up with him, his cricketing exploits dwindled and he was moved from the shop floor to the store room.

Club Announcement -

Delighted to announce that North Thoresby Cricket Club has been awarded nearly £10,000 to help redevelop the club house. We hope these works will be a step towards making our ground more appealing to women's, girl's and junior cricket, as well as opening us up to being a multifunctional community space.

Huge thanks to the teams at East Lindsey District Council and the Lincolnshire Community Foundation GRASSroots scheme for supporting the project.

https://www.e-lindsey.gov.uk/article/30488/Final-round-of-UKSPF-community-grants-leads-to-an-investment-of-more-than-200-000-in-parish-councils-voluntary-groups-and-local-facilities

"Baffling!"
"Unprecedented!"
"Never seen anything like it!"

These are some of comments from the team of international scientists trying to discover why water is relentlessly falling from the sky! The current theory is that a group of people are having a water pistol fight on top of very tall ladders, but this is yet to be confirmed. Anyway, long story short, until we can work out what's going on there will no match at The Den tonight.

Jack Flockton will still be there from 6pm to 8pm signing autographs and interacting with fans, so feel free to pop down. Remember Jack's views are completely his own and don't necessarily reflect the views of the club.

We dive back into some of our favourite players from the past again, as we head to the late 70s to catch up with ‘Caught & Bowled’ -

Alec Caught (real name Alec Richardson) and Stevie Bowled (Steven Freeman) were a cricket loving comedy double act who played for North Thoresby in the late 1970s and early 80s. Popular in the local pubs and working men’s clubs, Caught & Bowled were once seen as the next big thing. Their act had Alec as the dour and unlucky straight man, with Stevie playing the irrepressible mischief maker, both to great effect.

Sadly off stage the pair fell out and Alec left to form a new male/female double act called “Caught Short” with his daughter Eliza Short (one half of the all female double act “Short & Sweet”). Stevie left comedy and formed a very successful folk singing duo, whilst “Caught Short” never really took off; and the nation was left to lament as Little and Large tightened their grip on the light entertainment circuit.

Match 4 – Home VS Grimsby Pumas – Welcome to Jurassic Park

“Well, that was life. It was an old tree, and the old passed on. Probably they did not mind. There came a time when all sap ran slowly, and the peace of age with all things behind it merged easily into the peace of death. The difficult thing was to be young.”

Mary Roberts Rinehart - The Doctor - 1936

They say lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place. That’s what they say. But “they” talk a lot, don’t they? Yet, tonight, lightening did strike twice. In fact it struck trice – as Mark Hooper not only threw, but landed, 3 genuinely amusing gags! What are the chances...?

Anyway, after a brief hiatus during a period of exceptionally good weather, The Super Rams returned to play on a day that contained elements of every season, and at times all at once. Despite intermittent patches of Amazonian downpours throughout the afternoon, the skies cleared and we took to the game with virtually dry conditions. A true Christmas miracle, in June...

To the match –

Toss lost and fielded first. With 3 of our most beloved bambinos off doing whatever it is the bambinos do, The Venerable Sheep knee-deep in early lambing season and a couple of other stalwarts missing in action, it was down to the old dinosaurs to carry us out of the late Jurassic epoch into the early Cretaceous period (I have got an A-Level in Geology so I know what I’m talking about. If you ever want to chat about your favourite type of coal, I’m your guy...). The wizened sages of Paul Hooper, Allan Tyler and Gary Spencer all turned out, each more than capable of stepping into Dickie Attenborough’s shoes or perhaps even taking the moniker of Tyrant Lizard King.

Captain Random threw himself into the mix first over after a prolonged battle with the digital scorebook. Not great, but not terrible. Gary Spencer took the 4 over spell, absolved himself beautifully and took a deserved wicket. Cameos from Shreeve, Tyler and Johnny-come-lately Scott Freeman with the ball helped proceeding, but a lovely 3 overs from George Holcombe was perhaps the most pleasing of the night. Seeing him grow in confidence and rhythm ball by ball was really nice and we can tell he will only get better as the season goes on. Deserved his wicket too.

Big shout to Hoops too who donned the gloves in lieu of the man, the legend, Craig Ellis. Pretty good job. A possible sniff of a stumping and a nice catch was a decent show all told.

To bat, and after a steady first couple of overs it was another member of the old guard who lead the charge – TC himself – dodgy knee in tow (post match ensconced in a bag of frozen beans), smashed and grabbed a handy 43, ably assisted by Shreeve, Tyler and finally Spencer, who himself faced a baying mob of former teammates and wellwishers. It peaked and troughed like a weather cell crossing the Atlantic, and eventually fizzled out, dumping its load well before time, on the shores of western Ireland, as we again just pulled up short of the required total.

Fun and games pitch side as the Steptoe & Son theme tune rang out as Tyler and Spencer mooched between the wickets. Laughter aplenty in the pub after also, as Hoops continued his comedy repertoire and the gang shared their favourite Jeremy Beadle based anecdotes. Good times.

Cheers to the Pumas who played everything in great spirit and more importantly joined us in the pub after. A fine set of lads.



*Mary Roberts Rinehart was often called the American Agatha Christie and is generally credited with inventing the trope of “the butler did it”. Sadly she wasn’t talking about Jos Buttler, or him turning out for The Super Rams!

Now the summer is in full swing we’re diving back into the club archives once more to uncover some more players from the past. First up is a prolific all rounder from the 1970s - Jeff Birkwood

Jeff was in the thick of the action both on and off the pitch throughout the 1970s. A union firebrand, Jeff could start a protest in a Post Office queue. His passion for his workmates extended onto the pitch with cricket being the only thing that could drag him away from the picket line. That, or the pub.

He once called the entire Grimsby & District Cricket League out on strike due to playing conditions at Keelby. The strike lasted throughout the long, cold winter of 1978/79. Despite multiple arrests and ongoing disquiet, Jeff never managed to effect any noticeable change on the windswept hell-hole we know and love today.

Unfortunately, due to an outbreak of ebola virus* amongst the team, tomorrow's match against Grimsby Pumas is postponed.

For any fans travelling from overseas please email [email protected] for a full refund.

*unconfirmed and unlikely