Family Date

When a child has big tantrums, hurts a sibling, breaks things, or seems angry all the time, it can leave parents feeling exhausted, helpless, and deeply hurt.

In my latest article, I share a real case study of a family I worked with through a Positive Discipline lens. We looked at the mistaken goal of revenge - when a child feels hurt and, in turn, hurts others - and how understanding what sits underneath behaviour can change the way we respond.

One of the first tools we introduced was Special Time: simple, intentional one-to-one connection that helps rebuild trust and safety in the relationship.

This article is for parents who are dealing with: ,tantrums, sibling conflict, aggressive behaviour, destructive outbursts, a child who feels impossible to reach

Sometimes the most difficult behaviour comes from the most discouraged place.

Read the article here: https://www.familydate.fun/how-kids-see-us/what-to-do-when-your-child-has-tantrums-hurts-siblings-and-breaks-things

What to Do When Your Child Has Tantrums, Hurts Siblings, and Breaks Things — Family Date A Positive Discipline case study on tantrums, sibling aggression, destructive behaviour, the revenge mistaken goal, and how Special Time can help.

This morning, I walked out of the shop and spotted a mum with her two daughters, about six and three. It was one of those mornings—cold, snowy, the kind where you wish you’d just stayed in. The eldest couldn’t resist those stone steps, itching to climb and jump, just to feel that small thrill.
But all she heard was, “Be careful! Don’t do that, you’ll fall! You’ll scrape your knee! You’ll ruin your new dress!”
Standing there, my heart ached. Of course, this mum was just doing her best to protect her daughter—who wouldn’t? But I could see, in that moment, the little girl shrink back, her excitement melting into disappointment. She came back and took her mum’s hand. And mum kept going, “So this is good, what if you had slipped and fallen? You would have been so sorry.”
I get it. Gosh, I have totally done this myself. It’s almost impossible not to let those words tumble out when you love someone so much and want to shield them. And yet—what does a little girl hear when her wings are clipped before she even gets a chance to try? “Don’t risk it. Don’t be bold. Staying clean and safe matters more than finding out what you can do.”
And that’s what sticks with me. A new dress? It can be washed. A scraped knee? It will heal. But that glowing curiosity, that fearless voice that says “I want to try!”—we can’t buy that back for them.
Let’s be honest—sometimes my own fear wants to shout louder than their bravery. But what if, instead, we learned to pause and just watch them take that jump? What if we quietly cheered instead of loudly warning? Maybe our children would trust themselves a little more, learn they are resilient, strong, more than their mistakes.
We’re not just protecting their skin and their clothes. We’re teaching them how to live. And maybe, just maybe, we could let them fall and find out that they can get up again, and again, and again. Isn’t that what courage really is?

I asked my child to put their shoes on, and you’d think I’d handed them a pop quiz in quantum physics - while riding a unicycle. The sigh they gave could have powered a small wind farm. I honestly worried they’d need a fainting couch.

Sometimes, their big reactions to our small requests can feel overwhelming. It’s in these moments that we can feel our own frustration rising. But what if we saw it not as defiance, but as them simply being overwhelmed?

When you feel lost in these daily struggles, remember to take a breath. You are teaching them how to navigate their big feelings, one pair of shoes at a time. You’re doing an incredible job. .fun

We don’t mean to raise people-pleasers… but we do, one tiny sentence at a time.
“Everyone is looking at you.”
“What will they think?”
“Stop crying.”
“What did your friend get?”

Little by little, kids learn to tune out their own voice and tune into everyone else’s.

My new blog is about how that happens and how we can help our children build confidence, courage, and a strong inner voice instead. 💛✨

Full post now live on Familydate.fun ✨

💭 How Kids See Us: When We Teach Them to Fear What Others Think — Family Date We don’t mean to raise people-pleasers… but we do, one tiny sentence at a time. “Everyone is looking at you.” “What will they think?” “Stop crying.” “What did your friend get?” Little by little, kids learn to tune out their own voice and tune into everyone else’s. My new blog i...

We teach kids coding, maths, and frameworks
but do we give them space to think, feel, and trust themselves?

My latest blog explores what children really hear when we talk to them and how to raise kids who know how to think and who they are. 💛
👉 Read it on Familydate.fun

🌱 How Kids See Us: The Opinions We Silence and the Identities We Shape — Family Date We teach children facts and rules, but forget to help them discover who they are.

My daughter’s first handmade pot broke this week… and what happened next taught us both something about grief, love, and resilience.
New blog is up - this one is close to my heart. 💛

How Kids See Us: The Broken Pot and the Strength That Followed — Family Date Today I learned that sometimes the best thing we can do as parents is not make it better. Just be there. New blog: How Kids See Us - The Broken Pot.

Check out my article in the South West edition of Families Magazine, on managing kids behaviours at parties, written with the help of the lovely Agata from Family Date.

https://issuu.com/familiesonline/docs/swl_325_may_june_2023_proof_final?fr=sMTU5NTYwMTY2MTQ

Is your child ignoring you? Not listening to you? Well, firstly this is normal, kids don't often listen to us and yet it can be frustrating for parents and pushing all our buttons. So, next time your child is not listening to you, rather than screaming your heart out, try these steps:
1. Check how you model listening to them. Are you engaged? Do you make eye contact with them? Kids are copy cats!
2. Use non verbal tools like: a touch or an eye contact. Kids are visual learners. When they are engaged in what they are doing, your voice is tuned out so they need a bit more to actually notice you.
3. Connect with them first before redirecting. Ask about what they are doing and then ask what you wanted them to ask.

For more tips, follow or send your questions my way.