Find Your Own Light

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10 Notes to My Younger Self 🦋

This slightly blurry pic was taken 10 years a go at my 25th Birthday party in Shoreditch 🍾 As I recently approached 35 it made me reflect on how much I have learnt about myself since then (and how my need for a wild party isn't quite the same!) 🙈 The past few years in particular have been driven by a need to learn how to find more self-acceptance and a better understanding of myself and how I best spend my short time on this earth. My curiosity has led me to explore many approaches that have supported my development including coaching, therapy, reiki, hypnotherapy, yoga, meditation and group therapeutic workshops to name a few. The more I have explored, the more I have learnt so I wanted to make note of ten insights that I have taken from my journey so far and would tell my 25 year old self now.

1. Trust your intuition.
Always.
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2. You don’t need to fit neatly in to a box.

It is more than ok to practice yoga and chant to Krishna Das one day and to drink cocktails and listen to Biggie the next. There is enough room for all of it and you can release the need for boxes and labels.
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3. You can learn accept your body.

Not when you have lost weight, not when you are more toned and not when someone tells you that you are looking well, but in this moment, right now. You might never fully love your body and regardless of how you compare to the latest body trends in the media, it is a gift and will take you to amazing places. The more you fear your body, the more you move away from self-acceptance and wellbeing. Acknowledge all of the things that you have to thank your body for and avoid social media comparison.
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4. You will feel empowered when you chose to say no to unhealthy people and situations.

These decisions will be hard and will take courage but leaving unhealthy relationships and jobs without always knowing what is next will lead you to much better things and will build your confidence and sense of self. Learn to trust yourself even when things look good on paper or people have different opinions of what is right for you. Trust in unknown possibilities.
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5. It is healthy to feel and it is ok to cry.

At some point you learnt that being sensitive and feeling things was a weakness. Whilst you will need to take care of your mental health and not overanalyse your emotions, exploring and understanding them rather than blocking them out will teach you a lot about yourself and will be healing. Crying is needed sometimes to help you to process and move forward and you will always feel better afterwards so stop apologising for it.
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6. It is ok to ask for help.

Whilst you enjoy being independent, you don’t need to do everything on your own and people will be willing to help if you ask them. When you start asking for help, you will learn that you are more supported so much more than you realised.
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7. Listening is underrated.

You don’t always need to know the answers or be able to fix a situation to support someone. There is a lot of time spent ‘doing’ in our society but sometimes ‘being’ with someone and listening to them fully and without judgement may be all that is needed.
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8. Be grateful for the small things.

Acknowledge the joy in the day to day and remember to be present in your life. Watch out for the feeling that you need ‘more’ (beauty, knowledge, likes on social media) as this sense of lack is driven by fear. Strip it all back and you are still worthy of your place on this earth even though you might not always feel that way.
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9. Keep asking questions.

Stay curious. You will be asked questions by people that will make you consider things from a totally new perspective and will create insights that will change the course of your life. Get a coach!
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10. You can be your true self.

It may be hard for you to fully show up and be your true self without fear of rejection but self-development work will enable this. You don’t need to change yourself to fit someone else’s expectations or to be accepted by the people in your life. Once you learn that, you will attract the right people and opportunities.

💓INTUITION💓 I love this by and it made me reflect on how it has taken me a long time to take my intuition seriously. When I was younger I labelled myself as too sensitive and too emotional. I literally thought being able to feel as much as I did was a bad thing! I now know that there is so much to learn from stopping to actually feel and see what is going on outside of all of my thoughts and my monkey mind 🙈🙉🙊 (or my butterfly mind as my coach put it 🦋)! Over the past few years as I have done a lot of personal development work and also become interested in yoga, meditation and spirituality, I have started to really listen. To get out of my head and in to my heart and to trust my gut has been a totally different way of navigating my life. I realised that I was saying yes to lots of things in my work that I really needed to say no to but was too scared to change. Taking the time to listen to my intuition, trust that it will show me the next step and take action that is aligned with it (rather than think my way out of things 🙈) has brought about exciting change🍾 If you would like some support in your own career or personal life to get clear on what you really want and to create change that is fully aligned then get in touch with me for a free chat about working together can help.

Over the holidays I was looking at some old family photos and this is one of my favourites of me as a child. It reminds me of how much I loved to write stories and also how we can go from being so innocent as children to being burdened with stories and beliefs about ourselves that really aren't true or helpful. 2018 has been another year of peeling back the layers of my own beliefs in order to grow and be kinder to myself as well as supporting my clients to do the same. The more I explore, the more I discover that shifts happen when you have more self compassion and accept where you are now and trust that you are good enough even if you have always felt otherwise. For me the challenge has been to balance acceptance with the drive to grow and change. One example that has been huge has been around my body image and being able to be kind about my body for the first time and not striving to fundamentally change it to be 'better' (in line with the messages we are all fed about what is beautiful) and also loving to regularly train in the gym for both my physical and mental health. I know that finding this balance across different areas of my life will be my on going pratice and is also why I will aim to hold my goals and intentions more lightly and will try to bring more trust and less striving in to 2019 and invite you to do the same 😘

WOW! I have just spent a weekend at Gaia Pollini's magical F**k It - Be Yourself weekend in London and my heart is 💓💓💓 She is an amazing teacher and helped us all to work through the blocks that were holding us back. It was really interesting to see a group of people without their identities and labels and how we all have similar things that get in our way of being our true selves. It was interesting to learn more about how the blocks are often unconscious coping mechanisms that we put in place when we were children because we didn't get our needs met and how these can be felt on an emotional level in our bodies. Lots. Of. Deep.Work. Phew...I can't wait for a glass of wine but I also haven't laughed so much in ages. Here's to taking a deep breath and asking what do I really feel in my heart right now and what do I need to say or do to be authentic and real in response to what comes up? 💓💓💓💓If you haven't heard of all things F**k It then I highly recommend checking it out 😊 www.thef**kitlife.com



**kitbeyourself **kittherapy

Rise Sister Rise 🌹🌹🌹 A day of deep insights and soul rejuvenation with the divine . The perfect time of year to turn inward and ask what is rising, what is falling away and to set new intentions 🙏🏻🙏🏿🙏🏽



@ Royal Institution of Great Britain

'Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage' by Anais Nin is my favourite quote so I decided to use it on my business cards so it's everywhere I go. My coaching is all about courage. It is about supporting you to have the courage go for what you really want, to own and embrace who you truly are inside and out and to step out of your comfort zone to create positive change in your life and career. DM me for more info if you are ready to step in to your courage and achieve more than you thought possible ✨



@ London, United Kingdom