Mariya Mari Coaching

When Favouritism Changes the Way People Are Treated

Favouritism is something many of us have experienced - but sometimes we don't recognise it for what it is.

It can happen at work, in families, friendships, relationships, communities, and even in places where we expect fairness.

It looks like giving one person more chances, more attention, more opportunities or more understanding simply because they are liked, connected, influential or personally preferred.

And sometimes, the hardest part isn't being overlooked.
It's watching someone else receive preferential treatment when you know the same standard would not be given to you.

But there is something important to understand:

One unfair decision doesn't always mean favouritism. A repeated pattern of unequal treatment does.

So how do we respond?

Don't immediately react from hurt.
Observe the pattern.

Don't compete for someone's approval.
Keep building yourself.

Don't gossip or attack the person who is being favoured.
Protect your character.

Don't stay silent when something genuinely needs addressing.
Speak with honesty and respect.

And don't allow someone else's preference to become the measure of your worth.

Because sometimes we spend so much energy asking:
"Why did they choose them and not me?" that we forget to ask:
"What can I learn? What is within my control? And what kind of person am I choosing to become?"

There is also another uncomfortable question we should all be willing to ask ourselves:

"Do I show favouritism?"
Do I give certain people more chances because I like them?
Do I listen more carefully to people with status or influence?
Do I judge one person's mistakes more harshly than another's?
Do I overlook people simply because they have nothing to offer me?

Whether you are a person of faith or not, there is a powerful principle here:
Fairness begins with us.

For Christians, Scripture makes this even clearer:
“God does not show favouritism.” - Romans 2:11
And James 2 warns believers against treating people differently because of their position or status.

The message is simple:

Don't let favouritism make you bitter.
Don't let rejection make you feel worthless.
And don't let your own preferences make you unfair toward others.

You may not always be able to control who gets chosen.
But you can control how you respond, how you treat people, and who you become in the process.

Because being overlooked by people does not mean you are overlooked by God.

And being someone's favourite doesn't make you more valuable than anyone else.

Choose fairness.
Choose integrity.
Choose kindness.
Choose to see people - not for what they can do for you, but for who they are.

That's how we begin to change the culture around us - one decision, one relationship and one person at a time.

Have you ever experienced favouritism - and how did it change the way you saw yourself or others?

🔥 THIS IS NOT THE END OF YOUR STORY

Sometimes life has to become unrecognisable before it can become something new.

We often pray for God to build, restore and transform us - but we forget that transformation may first require deconstruction.

📍Some things cannot be repaired.
📍Some mindsets cannot be carried forward.
📍Some patterns have to end.
📍Some versions of you have to be left behind.

And when it happens, it can feel like failure.

But what if the emptiness is actually space?

What if the things being removed are making room for something you have been praying for?

A builder doesn’t look at a demolished wall and call the project a failure.
He knows what others cannot yet see.
The blueprint comes before the building.

So if your life feels like it is being pulled apart right now, don’t rush to rebuild what was.

Pause.

Ask yourself:
“What if this is not destruction… but preparation?”

You may not see the new structure yet. But that doesn’t mean there is no plan.

𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣.

The ruins are ❌ not your identity.

They are simply the ground from which something new can rise.

With 🧡 # # #

Patience helps you grow; procrastination keeps you stuck. Don’t let procrastination destroy what patience is trying to build.

Many people think procrastination is simply being lazy. But often it is much deeper than that.

It is the dream you keep postponing because you are afraid you might fail.

It is the difficult conversation you avoid because you do not want conflict.

It is the business idea, the course, the prayer, the healthy habit, the first step you keep saying you will start tomorrow.

Day after day, life becomes a cycle of “when things calm down… when I have more time… when I feel more confident.” And while you are waiting for the perfect moment, your heart quietly carries the weight of unfinished decisions.

The truth is that patience and procrastination are not the same.

Patience is active. It keeps showing up, keeps learning, keeps trusting the process even when results are slow.

Procrastination is passive. It gives fear a comfortable chair and allows excuses to become permanent residents in your mind.

Think about your everyday life.

How many evenings have you gone to bed thinking, “I could have done that today”?

How many opportunities have passed because you were waiting to feel completely ready?

No one feels completely ready.

Growth begins the moment you choose movement over excuses.

You do not need to change your whole life overnight. You only need to be honest with yourself about the one thing you have been avoiding.

Maybe today is the day to make that call.

To write that page.
To forgive.
To apply.
To start walking.
To spend ten quiet minutes with God instead of ten more minutes scrolling.

Small steps may look insignificant, but they are often the bricks from which a completely different future is built.
Do not underestimate what one consistent decision can do.

Your future is not waiting for a perfect version of you. It is waiting for the present version of you to take the next step.

What is patience trying to build in my life right now… and what have I been postponing for too long?

Do not let fear disguise itself as procrastination.

Take one step today.
Your breakthrough may be hiding behind the action you have been delaying the most.🧡

P.S. What truth about yourself have you been avoiding, and what could happen if you faced it with courage?

Your 'cage' may not look like a cage, but it is still a cage.

Maybe it looks like the smile you wear when you are exhausted.

Maybe it is the life that everyone thinks is “fine,” while inside you feel empty.

Maybe it is ...

the fear of starting over
the pain of being misunderstood
the habit of putting yourself last for so many years that you no longer remember what you truly need.

Listen to me for a moment…

Some of you are not trapped by walls.

You are trapped by fear, guilt, disappointment, and the belief that this is all you deserve.

You wake up, do what is expected, take care of everyone else, and keep going - but your heart quietly whispers, “There must be more than this.”

If you constantly feel unseen, unheard, emotionally drained, or afraid to become the person you were meant to be, please don’t ignore that feeling.

A comfortable prison is still a prison.

And the saddest thing is that many people stay there for years, not because the door is locked, but because they have forgotten they are worthy of freedom.

Today I want to remind you:

📍You are allowed to grow.
📍You are allowed to choose peace.
📍You are allowed to leave behind what is breaking your spirit.
📍You are allowed to become who God created you to be.

Your heart was not created to live in survival mode forever.

Sometimes the first step to freedom is simply admitting:
“This may look normal to others, but it is hurting me.”

And that honesty is not a weakness.
It is the beginning of healing.

# # #🧡

We cannot choose what happens to us, but we can choose how it shapes us.

Sometimes life places us in situations we never expected, never asked for, and never felt ready to face.

We experience pain, disappointment, loss, rejection, and moments when we quietly ask ourselves: “Why is this happening?”

There are seasons when we do not understand the road we are walking.
Moments when our heart feels tired, our strength feels small, and our soul searches for answers.

But with time, we begin to see that not every difficult season comes to break us. Some experiences come to awaken us.

To reveal a strength we never knew we carried.
To teach us deeper compassion, greater gratitude, and a new appreciation for the precious moments of life.

We may not be able to choose every chapter of our story, but we can choose how we continue writing it.

We can remain prisoners of what happened to us, or we can transform our experiences into the foundation on which we build a stronger, wiser, and more courageous version of ourselves.

Because we are not defined by how many times we fall.

We are defined by the courage to rise again. By the decision to keep moving forward, even when the path is difficult.

Sometimes our greatest lessons are hidden inside our greatest struggles.

Pain can change our direction, but it does not have to take away our light.

Everything we have walked through can become part of our strength, our wisdom, and our ability to understand and encourage someone else who is facing their own storm.

We cannot control everything life brings to us… but we can choose who we become because of it.

And maybe one day, we will look back and realise that the moments we thought were breaking us were actually the moments that were building us into who we were always meant to become.

# # #🧡

What is the environment around you?
Who are the people you interact with?

Do they lead you toward growth?
Do they help you follow your deepest values?
Do they support you on the path to your dreams?

Take a moment to reflect…

The people around us always influence our lives - sometimes in an inspiring and constructive way, and other times quietly and almost unnoticed, pulling us away from who we want to become.

Go back to the questions at the beginning of this post and answer them honestly.

Maybe that is exactly where the truth lies about where you are today.

The good thing is that you always have a choice.

A choice to surround yourself with an environment that encourages you to grow, to develop, to achieve more, to help others, and to feel fulfilled with who you are becoming.

Sometimes change doesn’t start with a big step, but with an honest conversation with yourself.

Take some time.
Pause for a moment.
Think.

Because your life deserves people who help you become the best version of yourself. 🌱✨

Ladies ✨....

Beautiful ladies,✨

There are moments in life when the weight feels unbearable.

When you're carrying pain no one else can see.
When you're misunderstood, judged, or criticised.
When you've given everything you have and still wonder how you'll make it through another day.

If you've ever been there, you're not alone.

The most powerful part of your story isn't that you faced those dark moments - it's that, somehow, you kept going.

One step.
One breath.
One choice at a time.

And one day, you look back and realise you didn't just survive.

🔸You became stronger without losing your kindness.
🔸Wiser without becoming bitter.
🔸More compassionate because you understand what it feels like to struggle.
🔸And happier because you learned that hope can exist, even in the darkest places.

Whatever you're facing today, don't underestimate your strength.

Your story isn't over. You are still becoming the person you were always meant to be. ❤️

With love # # #

For those who have stopped somewhere along the way...

Remember...

Remember what you once loved doing.
Remember the dreams that filled your heart.
Remember what you devoted so much of your time and energy to.
Remember the effort you poured in, day after day.

Remember how you celebrated even the smallest victories.
Remember the light in your eyes.
Remember the joy in your soul.
Remember the smile on your face.

Remember the battles you fought - and the strength it took to keep going.

And don't forget...

There are still victories waiting for you.
There are still talents within you waiting to be uncovered.

You already have everything you need to begin again.

But this time...

Don't stop.

Don't stop when it gets hard.
Don't stop when people don't understand or appreciate what you're doing.
Don't stop when you're criticised.
Don't stop chasing your dreams.

Don't stop growing, even when your progress seems so small that it's almost invisible.

Because this is how greatness is built.
It is built on strong foundations.

And foundations are rarely seen.
They are built in the dark, in silence, and often in loneliness.

But one day, everything you've been building with faith, patience, and perseverance will rise into the light.

And when it does, it will be beautiful.

Keep going. Your greatest chapter may still be ahead of you.

# # #🧡