Not Another Life Coach

I love psychology, but every now and then it throws up unhelpful nonsense, such as this. Feel free to feel however you feel, but not because a marketing company told you to.

Earlier in the week, I posted about what I call, “inspibollocks”. Check out that post on my page if you haven’t already.
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So, how on earth can seemingly harmless, uplifting words be unhelpful? Here's one way.👇🏽
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You read a little short little nugget of something that appears to be quite wise and profound and it gives you a lift.🆙
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Problem is, while these quotes are inspirational on a surface level, they don't actually help you change anything if they don’t inspire you to take an action.
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So, say you've got a situation that you’re finding stressful and might be causing you a bit of anxiety. You look for something to help you feel better and to feel like you’re doing something to address your issue – you read some inspirational words and feel uplifted…but you don’t take any further steps to tackle your situation (because you feel a bit better about it), so it’s still there, unaddressed. The feeling of uplift doesn’t last very long and your mood lowers again. 📉
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So you look for more inspirational nuggets to make you feel better (because that worked last time) and before you know it, you're in a cycle of feeling rubbish, looking up inspirational material to feel better, you do for a bit then you feel rubbish again, and as time goes on, the inspibollocks doesn’t perk you up so much, your mood trends downward and you feel disempowered because your situation is still the same…and doubly so, because the stuff that was helping you feel better no longer does and now you don’t know what to do. 💩
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So, what CAN you do? Take an action that results in a change. That may be something very practical like looking for a new job, or more developmental like working on changes in your thinking styles, behavioural changes - and anything else that helps to create your experience of the world - either on your own or with support✌🏽

In my bio, I state, “psychological coaching, no inspibollocks”. This is my definition of inspibollocks.
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Later in the week, I’ll go into the effects inspibollocks can have on us and why I hate it so much.
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I’ve read a lot this weekend about some really bad coaching. When I say bad, I mean people being unethical, manipulative, and not really coaching at all - but that’s what they’ve called it. I’ve seen people say that because of what they’ve experienced or seen others go though under the guise of “coaching”, they will never consider working with a coach again.

This makes me mad. And sad - because proper coaching is ethical, and helps people to change their lives. One of my missions is to “debunk” (hello Agent Scully) popular coaching practices - that aren’t really coaching at all - while educating on what you should expect from a good, ethical coach. This is one of the aspects of coaching that gets me fired up!

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I’ll be honest, I usually want the Christmas holidays to last forever! But at some point, usual daily life must resume.

I’m taking any decorations down until the weekend though 😸

I’ll start with a caveat - I know not everyone gets time off around christmas and New Year. I certainly didn’t when I worked in retail.

That being said, this time of year can be pretty special as it’s the only time during the year when there’s a collective pausing and resting. Outside of whatever seasonal traditions you may have, other life expectations can be put aside for a time, because pretty much everything stops.

This year, Christmas Day and Boxing Day both fell on the weekend, meaning the 27th and 28th were both bank holidays. I had THE BEST Boxing Day and did something I’ve never done before - I spent almost the WHOLE DAY in bed with one of my cats, my rainbow LED lights going, the occasional video on YouTube, snoozing. It wasn’t planned, but because there was no pressure that I “should” be doing anything else, I embraced it and, for the first time in a LONG time, really enjoyed and appreciated just how much I needed the rest.

Now, if you WANT to do things, do them! Inspiration can strike at any time - and it’s a common paradox that the one time you don’t HAVE to do anything is the one time you suddenly feel inspired!

But, I was struck by the amount of IG accounts who were plugging productivity as an aspiration, even on Christmas Day itself (I know, not everyone celebrates Christmas - these were from accounts that do). Come Boxing Day (and the Bank Holidays after), were all the posts telling us what The Next Thing to focus on was (and don’t get me started on the diet ads).

Not only do we not always have to be doing, it’s really important that we take a break when we get the chance - especially given the last couple of years.

So, go! Burrito yourself!

However you choose to celebrate (if you celebrate) I hope you have a wonderful day.

I love Christmas, but as a and a human with , I need to take breaks (I’m taking one right now after a flare). Remember to take time out for yourself if you need it. And drink lots of water!!

Merry Christmas

✨Client Recommendation!✨

Finishing a coaching journey with a client can be bittersweet. Coming to the end of your journey together when you’ve worked in such a special space can be sad - but if you are saying goodbye, it’s usually because they’ve got to where they were aiming for, which is what I’m here for! 🙌🏽

I love when I get to experience “lightbulb moments” in session with a client but I don’t always hear what life is like for them after we’ve finished our work together, so getting a recommendation like this is an incredible feeling.

And yes, I will be sharing the hell out of it from now on 😜

If you’ve been pondering working with me, book in for a free consultation. Link in bio 💥

New blog post on my website. Swipe for an excerpt.

In it I talk about:

🐐Why “Winners Never Quit” is so harmful

🐐Why calling Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka “weak” for their recent decisions is BS

And

🐐Why P***s M****n may want to sit down and keep quiet (apart from for the good of us all).

Link in bio!

It might seem obvious, but think about it.

Just one small step. Then another. Then another.

Wanting to make a big change can feel daunting, but it’s not as hard as you might think.

Truth is, the biggest shifts come from small, incremental changes. You start with one thing. Then another. Then another. Before you know it, you’re miles away from where you started - you can FEEL the leap you’ve made, but it didn’t feel huge or overwhelming along the way.

Significant shifts come from tiny tweaks.

What change would you like to make that just feels too huge right now?

Beginning Sunday with a Squirm of Cats.