The Baby Sleep Doula

So nice to be back doing a baby sleep talk for Antenatal group tonight. I could have talked all night! 🤣

Thanks for asking me Lisa I love your new space. 🥰 It’s so tranquil and beautiful.

There are lots of other baby and wellbeing classes on offer in Urmston, Manchester so go check them out!

Sleep is non negotiable in my house. It always has been and always will be.

Does it come without a struggle or fight every night because I’m a Sleep Consultant? DON’T.BE.DAFT!

When I sought some sleep support for my daughter 9 years ago, did I feel guilty about doing it? NO.

Why? Because I was crippled with anxiety, PND and starting with Insomnia. I didn’t know what I was doing or what to do.

Have I ever looked back? Of course not. Was it money well spent? Without a doubt. Is it why I do what I do now and have spent the past 5 years researching, learning and understanding infant sleep. Absolutely!

Unfortunately parent guilt and mum guilt in-particular comes with the territory once you’ve had a baby. You’re dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t, but don’t let other people’s extreme views and opinions stop you from helping your little one sleep better and in turn- you sleeping better.

We all know the benefits of sleep.

If your baby’s sleep situation is no longer working for you and your family, you desperately need change and help, then you need to do what’s right for YOU.

Sleep is my safe space and without it, I quickly go to pieces. If this is you and you’re really struggling due to lack of it, then please don’t suffer in silence. It’s unnecessary, avoidable and YOU CAN help your baby sleep better and change things in a very gentle, responsive and non cry-it-out way to gain results.

COMMENT “HELP” below ⬇️ to book in a free consultation and take advantage of my Mother’s Day 5% discount offer on all my bespoke packages.

It's of utmost important to me that I consider your child's temperament before I advise on the style of support/type of plan that would work for you and your child.

It really isn't a one size fits all approach with me.

It wouldn't work for every child.

A resilient and flexible temperament may respond well to more formal sleep training techniques, while a sensitive temperament nearly always requires a more gradual and gentle approach with lots more input... and that is totally normal and understandable.

Sometimes we may not know what your child's temperament is or even what their sleep needs truly are until we start, and that's ok too.

I pride myself on being flexible and adaptable with my approaches because I've armed myself with a lot of tools, research and experience along the way.

Whatever your child's temperament or your sleep training beliefs, I work with ALL types of families and LOVE what I do.

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Just like sleep, weaning off the b**b or bottle isn’t linear either!

Remember that generally breast or bottle feeding is more than JUST FOOD and is complicated. What’s normal for one person might not be normal for you and that’s OK.

Finding what works best for you and your little one is important- there’s not one size fits all.

If you’re wanting to make some changes, especially to your feeding journey overnight or at bedtime then I’d love to help.

I’ve been in your shoes and it’s one of the main reasons i do what i do now. I want to help educate and empower you no matter where you are in vour feeding and sleep journey- whether you’re just starting out, struggling or wanting to make changes or simply need advice and/or support then I’m right here waiting to hear from you.

Judgement free.

This is not a post about being unresponsive…I wholeheartedly advise being responsive to your baby. However, sometimes we can be too responsive & too quickly, which can cause more problems when it comes to sleep.

As mothers, we do indeed have spidey senses & are so in-tune with our babies that we are constantly on high alert & jump up at the slightest noise.

But we have to remember that babies are noisy sleepers & they aren’t always calling out for support.

I often advise my clients to just take a step back, PAUSE & breathe before rushing into their child.

👉🏼 The issue with jumping up instantly & reacting is we don't know what we're reacting to or what our baby needs.
👉🏿 By taking a breath & pausing, it gives us chance to assess the situation, check the time & think about what our babies might be crying out for.
👉🏽Reacting instantly can often lead to us disturbing our little ones, hindering them from comfortably re-settling or result in us fire fighting as we try & determine what the problem may be when in-fact there wasn't one.
👉🏻Their noise, cries & whimpers can be perfectly normal during phases of active sleep or they could simply be transitioning from one sleep cycle to another.

After a PAUSE/deep breath from yourself, if your little one’s noise hasn’t escalated & they haven’t got emotional, in-fact it’s all gone quiet, then leave them to it.

On the other hand if the murmurs ramp up & turn into full on communication at the top of their lungs then definitely RESPOND.

👆🏼Of course you know your child better than me & some children do go from 0-100 in seconds.

There will be times when pausing can make things worse, especially if you have a highly sensitive child & I totally understand how pausing for a few minutes can feel like forever.

Nonetheless, trust me when I say it really can be worth it!

🫵🏽Do you jump up/wake instantly at your little ones every murmur? Try my tip & let me know how you get on.

Have you ever been asked this question???

If so, what was your answer?

To me, it’s one of those vacuous things people ask or say to new parents without really thinking about how it may make them feel.

There is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” baby. It’s almost as annoying as those smug parents who tell other exhausted parents that their baby is a “good sleeper”.

These were the types of parents I use to give a wide birth to at the baby groups, when I was suffering with PND.

THE THING IS THIS…

Some little ones sleep better than other because they have a different temperament and find sleep easier to achieve.

Our babies sleep has nothing to do with whether they’re naturally good or bad at it or even necessarily what their parents did right or wrongly.

Plenty of research has shown that temperament, personality and biology play a huge factor in whether your little one can master sleep quicker, calmer and with less support and help than others.

A “good baby” is a perception held by our society- that babies should act, sleep and feed in a certain way but remember this…

ALL babies are DIFFERENT, just like adults! Some are more laid back, some need more help and support, some struggle to latch, others walk & talk before some even crawl.

Such is life. It certainly doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.

If you need help figuring out your little one’s sleep needs or even how to optimise their sleep then please don’t be afraid to drop me a DM or email- [email protected]

This is really a thing. Believe me… it happened to me with my first born.

Maybe you are discovering it now.

Suddenly a baby comes along and even though you’re bone tired exhausted, you feel like you no longer know how to sleep or your brain just won’t let you!

As a mum, I also know how tempting it is to delay sleep to claim a few moments of personal time

At the height of my postnatal depression & anxiety, I suffered with insomnia for 3 days straight. I didn’t close my eyes for at least 72 hours and it was one of the most terrifying things that’s ever happened to me.

“Sleep when the baby sleeps” did not work for me, infact that saying still triggers me today.

If you can't sleep at night or in the day, even when your baby is asleep, or you just feel tired all the time, then this could be a sign of postnatal depression.

Don’t suffer in silence though, talk to your friends & family, book an appointment with a GP asap & even reach out to an Infant sleep consultant so you can get the help you need to make a quick recovery.

All of the above saved me and got me the sleep I so desperately needed.

MATRESCENCE. What does it mean?

✍🏻 First coined in 1973 by a medical anthropologist. It describes the emotional, MENTAL, physical, social and physiological transformative process a woman goes through as she BECOMES a MOTHER.

👉🏻 Sometimes likened to becoming an adolescent when HORMONES surge, bodies change and relationships and identities shift.

👩🏽‍🍼Yet when a woman becomes a mother she is encouraged and almost pressurised to just “get on with it”. We are expected to continue on with life as normal and enjoy every minute, yet life has IRREVERSIBLY changed and there’s no going back and in some cases it can be terrifying, unmanageable and overwhelmingly EXHAUSTING.

📆 Even in this day and age little has been explored in the medical COMMUNITY to do with becoming a mother.

🔎The focus is still mainly on the baby and mother’s (sometimes even father’s) still feel ashamed to admit they’re STRUGGLING and need help and don’t know enough.

‼️It is more important than ever that parents get SUPPORT and lots of it.

🏘️ It will always take a VILLAGE to raise a child and as humans we’re not meant to parent alone.

🙌🏻 Support comes in many forms, yet our planet is infiltrated by parent shamers, trolls and people pushing their EXTREME VIEWS on us constantly which then makes us question our own judgements and beliefs.

🫶🏻 It’s OK to not be OK, and I’m here to support you if your current baby SLEEP situation, habits and routine aren’t working for you. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or thinking.

👉🏽If you’re desperately in need of some ADVICE, SUPPORT and sleep then please don’t suffer in silence.

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Do you find post midnight the hardest with your little one’s sleep?

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Well don't! After learning the hard way with my little one, my best advice to you is not to stress over things you can't control.

I remember vividly telling the staff at my son’s nursery that he will "never in a million years", go to sleep on a mat, in a strange place, with other children in the same room- so not to even bother! How wrong I was!!

🆘l've had lots of mums contact me recently, asking for my advice on this subject.

Of course every child is different but I have rarely come across a child that doesn't adapt quickly to their new nap time routine at childcare. Also bear in mind that your child will not expect the same level of attention as they do at home.

Here are My TOP TIPS for making a smoother transition & calming your nerves:

👉🏽FAMILIARITY:
Discuss your concerns with the childcare provider & ask if you can bring along some of your child's sleep associations (sleeping bag, comforter or even white noise machine). If your child has a way of getting to sleep at home, ask daycare if there's any chance they can follow through with this routine at least for the first few days.

👉🏾SCHEDULE:
Daycare will probably work on a different schedule, if you can't get the two in sync (or there's flexibility) then just go with it & relax. It's ok to have a 2 nap schedule at home & only 1 at nursery. Chances are your little one will be extra tired on days at home anyway after a busy time at daycare.

👉🏻CONSISTENCY:
Little ones can tell the difference between sleep at childcare & at home & are adaptable. Even if they don't sleep well at nursery, it's important to remain consistent at home & focus on overnight sleep being the most restorative. If you've been working on independent sleep skills at home but it's all gone to pot at nursery don't give up!

👉SLEEP DISTRIBUTION:
If naptime is a disaster at davcare then consider a catnap on the way home or make bedtime earlier to compensate.
Too little sleep can make bedtime tougher but too much day sleep can potentially lead to a split night or early wake.

Overall stay calm & remember tomorrow is another dav!

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