Priestfields F.C

Middlesborough fans out with Neil Maddison in Chester tonight. 🍻

Congratulations to our good friends Steelmen FC

Steelmen FC are Sunday County Cup winners! 🏆

PUFC Christmas jumper day

Just remember lads, you could play for us but you choose to play for your s**te boring teams instead.

You might like us or more likely hate us but remember you’ll all get absolute pelters on here if you turn up at the road playing like prime Gordon strachans boro and get walloped 5-0.

Merry Christmas and all the best for the new year, you’ll probably need it cos we’re gunna go fkn offit (probs get beat every match)

UTFP

Seniors Connected Christmas Lunch

22 December from 11am, St Barnabas Church, Middlesbrough

Christmas lunch event on 22nd December at St Barnabas Church Hall. It will be a lovely occasion – there will be a chef who cooks for us (for free) and there will be games and gifts.

Referrals and signup to [email protected] or by phone to Julie McGee on 01642 728262 or Emma McInnes on 01642 728756

PUFC 3-4 Lingdale Tavern

This is it now. If I wasn’t already going bald this team has got me looking like Barry Bannan.

Another frustrating result yesterday as the lads crashed out the cup. I said in my preview that it was the only trophy we could have a chance at winning due to other teams in our league, obviously it went in one lug and straight out the other.

JPs opened the scoring with a decent strike from a fair distance and with no disrespect your stood there thinking were 1-0 up 10 mins in and your rubbing your hands together like Heather Trott at the Toby. How wrong were we.

Before we’re know it were 4-1 down, looking about at eachother thinking what the f***s going on here. A Fadgie penalty and Toby Mac nodding one home just before half time saw us get back to 4-3. Balls to the fu**in wall second half.

It was like the Alamo, we played a good 30/35 minutes of the second half with pretty much 2 centre half’s and everyone else in Lingdales half pushing for an equaliser but it wasn’t to be. Credit to Lingdale, they made the most of our mistakes in the first half and just soaked up our pressure in the second to see the game out. Must of had about 80% of the ball and about 25 shots but it all counts for nothing if you can’t stick it in the owld onion bag.

Man of the match for me was Kenzie Fagan. Didn’t really put a foot wrong I thought and was pushing all game to try get the lads back into things. BALLER

Mong of the match was Hallet. I don’t like to kick puppies whilst they’re down so we’ll leave it at this… DISGRACE.

So another trophyless year for these bunch of Doyle’s. We do it every fkn year man on paper it looks like we have an easy route to a pop at a final and somehow we always end up rolling over and getting beat.

A week to have a think about what went wrong and try to put it right next week please lads.

UTFP

Pied Piper
Teesside Stairlifts

Morning chaps

This Sunday will see the lads return back to Cup action as we take on Lingdale Tavern at the road.

Last sundays bumming really set the tone for the top division and to be honest even after a good start a league title might be out of reach for the boys this season. However we don’t mind a little cup run, preferably away in York but legends decided to f**k that up for us anorl so all roads lead to Redcar Athletic it looks like 🫠.

Another tough test against a set of newbies it looks like in the form of Lingdale Tavern. Good old Lingdale eh, flat caps, fluffy gilets and heather bush as far as the eye can see. If you like coal fires, starting the car up on a morning by cranking the engine up and shovelling cow s**t off the front door step before you set off to go darn pit then there’s no better place to live really.

Jokes aside these lads have had a good start to there season and the fact they’re 2 divisions below shouldn’t come into it. Remember what we said about the first round against amal, any slacking then you’ll be eating dogs**t for brekky.

🆚 The Lingdale Tavern FC

🏆 Manjaros Terry Smith Trophy

📍 THE ROAAAAAD

⏰ 10:30am

UTFP ⚽️

Pied Piper
Teesside Stairlifts

PUFC 2-6 Norton George and Dragon

Well then… it’s Monday morning, it’s fu**ing freezing and the lads are coming off the back of a 6-2 bumming.

We knew the George were a good team with some really good players but with how we’ve played in recent weeks the lads fancied to take a game to these lot.

A pretty hectic first half with 2 penalties one for either side and a manky deflection saw the George go into half time 3-1 up, our goal courtesy of the ever reliable fadgie.

The second half started and the lads were pushing to get back in the game until something happened I thought I’d only ever see on films. A real life pixie walked onto the pitch.

4 foot tall, bald as a coot and running his gums like someone’s put a whizz bomb in his kettle. I couldn’t believe my eyes, to top it all off his response to a bit of crack from our sideline was ‘I bet I’ve got more money than you’. Course ya do fella your a 30 year old bloke who’s still fits in fkn baby grows man, can get a pair of 95s on Black Friday sale for 30 bar. Best bit was he could actually play, scored a beauty goal to put the game to bed and then flew back in his magic lamp, crazy.

Anyways, another goal from fadgie took the game to 4-2 and with the lads pushing for a couple more goals the George broke away twice and finished the lads off. Game over.

We’ll never be salty about being beat and yesterday was a case of holding our hands up and admitting we were beaten by the better side (same excuse as last week) but we won’t come across many teams better than them lot this season.

Man of the match again has to be young faj, always alert chasing balls through and making it hard for the opposition. He’s like a little mosquito buzzing around ya hotel room on holiday that you can’t find, bouncing from the tele to the curtains and back laughing its head off at you when your trying to kill it stark bo***ck naked sweating ya cake off at 3 in the morning… BALLER.

Mong of the match for me has to be young Cozzy. Introduced with 25 left to make an impact and that boy couldn’t trap a bag of cement. Jumping over passes, dribbling it out, hard watch to be honest… DISGRACE.

So the lads taste defeat 2 weeks in a row for the first time this season, disregarding the scoreline I actually thought the lads dug in well at times but that extra bit of quality just came through, something I’m not prepared to get used to by the way so it’ll be balls to the wall to put things right next week please chaps.

UTFP⚽️

Morning chaps

Back at the roaaaad this week as the lads take on league new boys Norton George and Dragon.

We’ve come across this bunch before on a couple of occasions in pre-season and by all accounts they seem to be some Sunday league super team.

The game was initially meant to be played under the lights on Thursday just gone but ‘weather won’. Bo****ks. They were just all knackered from their midweek northern league games.

Every post on their page is shared from one of their lads scoring for a northern league team on a Saturday, in for some fkn ride if they all play Saturdays by the way, giving it ‘should have played for boro if it wasn’t for a knee injury’ and all that bo***cks. Spend your Saturday doing something meaningful lads, like watching Cheltenham’s November meeting. Try dissecting that Paddy Power Gold Cup card on heavy ground, beats driving to west allotment Celtic for ya petrol money on a Saturday let me tell ya.

Anyway, granted the weather holds off it should be a good game. Nosebleed territory for the lads sees us one point off top with 2 games in hand so let’s keep it going please chaps.

🆚 Norton George And Dragon

🏆 Manjaros Langbaurgh League Sunday Premier Division

📍 THE ROAAAAD

⏰ 10:30am

Pied Piper
Teesside Stairlifts

🙌🏻TREMENDOUS TUESDAYS🙌🏻

Treat yourself to one of our fabulous takeaways from all 3 delivery platforms! What is it you fancy? Chicken? Burger? Picky bits? We’ve got you covered🤤🤤🤤

Grab all your favourite pub treats wrapped up and kept hot right to your door! Save on that washing up and have a slice of the Pied Piper at home🏡 psssst🤫we even do bottles of your faves straight to you too! Why shop in different places when you can get the lot from this one stop?!

LEGENDS BAR 4-2 PUFC

A late one this week, too busy drowning myself in Stella yesterday full of self pity.

Another case of swallowing our medicine yesterday unfortunately, that astros got a fkn gypo curse on it or something because no away team ever wins on the fu**ing thing I’m certain.

If we’re being completely honest first half was backs to the wall just defending constantly, ball getting zipped about midfield. The constant shift off our lads guts knocked 7 cans of s**te out of us, my belly felt like I was going down that dip next to boulby potash for 45 minutes solid.

Wonderkid fadgie has managed to get us in the game at 1-0 out of nothing but a bad refereeing decision and heads up our arses saw us go 3-1 down at half time.

Super Deano Harper and the return of Max Mcguttin were introduced second half and after another tidy goal from fadgie the lads were fired up and pushing for an equaliser. Any chance we had of staying in this years cup were pi**ed away when young Matteo decided to play 1-2 with their striker. Shame really I thought he had a good game. I think the responsibility of playing for this brilliant football club may have swallowed him whole and we got bit on the arse.

A few positives to take from yesterday, an all round decent performance and moments that give us a midgeys dicks worth of hope but just beat by the better team if we’re being honest. We must be getting better because aggregate score against these lads since we’ve been playing each other must be about 47-2, not mentioning the 10-0 bumming we got a few year ago when bench warmer biggins started spoofing it in his own net and that.

Man of the match this week has to be young fadgie. 2 goals and didn’t look out of place, a lad who’s been here for 5 games might well be the best player I’ve seen play for us in 5 seasons, says a lot really. BALLER.

Mong of the match unfortunately has to be Matteo. Don’t be disheartened kid you had a good game. Even the superstars like Casillas had blips, youse are both Spanish and he probably eats bird seed too so we just go again. That being said… DISGRACE.

One less trophy to disrupt the focus on our title charge this season I suppose, gutted to be fair because them York trips are fire but f**k em.

Note to Mr F***y O’Brien and his band of merry men : youse have somehow managed to beat the best team in that competition yesterday so if youse don’t win your getting fkn tortured on here.

Go again Thursday lads under the lights.

UTFP ⚽️