Shona Stirling

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Shona Stirling My business space for counselling, coaching, training and speaking.

16/09/2026

What are you trying to prove?

Trying to stay ‘credible’ is exhausting. What if it’s not as labour intensive as you think?

What if people really just need the authentic you?

Don’t spend so much energy trying to invent yourself that you actually lose sight of who you are!

You matter ❤️

It’s easy to convince ourselves that we’re nailing this leadership thing. Culture tells us what it should look like but ...
14/09/2026

It’s easy to convince ourselves that we’re nailing this leadership thing.

Culture tells us what it should look like but what if the behaviour we see on the surface isn’t the full story?

11/09/2026

For over a decade I tried to keep the peace.

I thought I was doing the right thing.

Sometimes keeping the peace really does seem like the wise, kind or mature thing to do.

But there’s a difference between peace and false peace.

For me, the cost was myself.

A gradual erosion of what was really important to me.

And an exhausting amount of energy spent trying to find a narrative that would explain what I couldn’t.

I wonder how often we call something “peace” when actually we’re just avoiding the discomfort of challenging what needs to be challenged.

Because sometimes keeping the peace isn’t peace at all.

Sometimes something really does need to be challenged.

Where might you be trying to hold onto a false peace?

09/09/2026

Self-reflection isn’t self-indulgent.

I think it’s a necessity for longevity in leadership.
Particularly when things get difficult.

When we’re criticised or in conflict, it’s tempting either to believe everything we’re being told or to dismiss it all.

Neither is particularly helpful.

Taking a long, hard look at ourselves helps us work out what’s ours to own, what’s true, and what isn’t.

Because without knowing ourselves, we can allow someone else’s opinion to become our identity.

Knowing yourself stops someone else from defining who you are.

How do you work out what’s yours to own when you’re criticised?

07/09/2026

I knew it was time to stop.

There were circumstances that meant it made business sense.

I could explain the decision rationally.

But deep down, I just knew.

Sometimes we know something deep in our knower before we can explain it.

And sometimes the hardest part isn’t knowing.

It’s having the courage to act on what we know.

So I’m curious…

What is it that you know deep in your knower?

And what might it take to act on it?

04/09/2026

Here’s what I wish I’d known before I stepped into my first church leadership position…

When you stand at the front, some people stop seeing you as a whole person.

They see your title.

Or their idea of what someone with that title should be.

And somehow that makes it easier to say things to you that they might not say if they remembered there was a human being standing in front of them.

Because leaders aren’t immune to hurt.

Like everyone else, when we’re cut, we bleed.

And sometimes the cuts from the people you thought were closest cut most deeply.

I wish I’d understood that before I stepped into leadership.

If this resonates with you then maybe you just found your space. ❤️

02/09/2026

If this resonates with you then I see you.

We rarely talk about this but it’s real.

Few get to see but it still hurts like crazy.

You’re seen and you’re held today.

I’m excited to be speaking at this today! Trauma impacts people in so many ways and we can unwittingly make a difficult ...
01/09/2026

I’m excited to be speaking at this today!
Trauma impacts people in so many ways and we can unwittingly make a difficult situation worse for the people we work with.
This is all about seeing people thrive, particularly in our churches where we haven’t always thought about how emotional and mental health impacts our spirituality.

Destiny Church Destiny College

Sometimes we keep asking for clarity because we’re hoping the answer will change.I wonder what you might discover if, in...
29/08/2026

Sometimes we keep asking for clarity because we’re hoping the answer will change.

I wonder what you might discover if, instead of asking for more clarity, you got curious about the fear underneath it.

27/08/2026

If you’re looking for a space to work this out then maybe you just found it.

I’m finding my voice again - maybe you need to find yours too!

Welcome to our wee community where there’s no hype and plenty of real conversations ❤️

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Motherwell

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