Coaching for people who feel like outsiders

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Coaching for people who feel like outsiders I'm an online coach helping English speaking adults all over the world. I specialise in kink and neurodivergence.

Coaching website is www.johnpendal.com ... other sites: linktr.ee/JohnPendal Accredited coach with Animas Centre for Coaching
FAA Level 2 Award in First Aid for Mental Health
FAA Level 3 Award in Supervising First Aid for Mental Health
Associate coach with Thriving Autistic
Member of the International Coaching Federation

On Sunday 1st November I'll be teaching an online workshop on "Pain Management".There are many reasons why someone might...
28/09/2026

On Sunday 1st November I'll be teaching an online workshop on "Pain Management".

There are many reasons why someone might want to alter the pain that they feel:

- To go deeper into a kink scene
- See how much you can take
- Enjoy further submission or surrender
- It’s learning to take control of our bodies
- You like pain and would like to be able to take more, to increase pleasure
- You want to get over a part of a sensation you don’t like, to enjoy the other parts you do
- I do it because I didn’t like being stuck of the shallow end of the pool doing widths – I wanted to swim in the deep end
- It’s also for Tops who want to know what their bottoms might be getting up to!

I'll be giving some background on what pain is and why it's possible to change it, along with practical tips to try afterwards.

There will be a handout you can download to read at the time or keep for later.

The class will also be recorded and the recording available for 2 weeks.

I'll put a ticket link in the comments.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks, John

16/09/2026

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐦 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

Some thoughts on autism assessments, and whether or not I think you need one to be able to say that you're autistic.

10/09/2026

𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

I've always felt shame about my poor spatial awareness, until I found out that autistic folk are more likely to struggle with proprioception: your body's ability to sense its own position, movement, and location in space without having to look.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐦/ 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲The following links and resources have been kindly shared by other pe...
07/09/2026

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐦/ 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲

The following links and resources have been kindly shared by other people:


𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒
Autism In Black is a neurodivergent-led organisation uniquely dedicated to serving the Black autistic community: https://www.autisminblack.org/

The Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN) provides community support, and resources for Autistic women, girls, transfeminine and transmasculine nonbinary people, trans people of all genders, Two Spirit people, and all people of marginalised genders or of no gender. AWN is committed to recognising and celebrating diversity and the many intersectional experiences in the community: https://awnnetwork.org/

The Autistic People of Color Fund (USA only) provides direct financial support to autistic people of color through individual microgrants between $100 to $500: https://autismandrace.com/autistic-people-of-color-fund/

The Color of Autism Foundation is a US based Neuro-Affirming Non-Profit organisation, committed to fostering inclusivity and support for African American families navigating the world of autism: https://thecolorofautism.org/

National Q***r & Trans Therapists of Color Network (USA): https://nqttcn.com/

Scottish Ethnic Minority Autistics is a catalyst for racialised Autistic People in Scotland to illuminate, educate, positively disrupt and have power over their own futures: https://sema.scot/


𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒
Dr Destiny Huff has written the book "Neuroaffirming Advocacy: A Neuroaffirming Guide to Special Education Services" and also organises a virtual event: The Black ADHD Experience Conference: https://www.destinyhuffconsulting.com/theblackadhdexperienceconference

Myira Khan is Muslim and ADHD. She has a blog at https://www.myirakhancounselling.co.uk/blog and has also written the book “The Muslim Guide to Wellbeing": https://www.myirakhancounselling.co.uk/the-muslim-guide-to-wellbeing


𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐒
Black Autistic Meetup is a group for Black Autistic folks to meet and connect with others. It is a space for belonging, representation, support and hope: https://ndconnection.co.uk/black-autistic-meetup

ADHD Babes is a support group for Black women and Black non-binary people of African-Caribbean descent with ADHD: https://www.adhdbabes.com/ and https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/o/adhd-babes-31447883953


𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐒
Articles by Lovette Jallow, an author, intersectional strategist, and human rights advocate based in Sweden: https://lovettejallow.substack.com/ - including Neurodivergence in Ancient Africa: What History Forgot but Our Ancestors Knew.

Autism in Black is the YouTube channel for Maria Davis-Pierre, dedicated to bringing awareness to Autism in the black community: https://www.youtube.com//

Autistic While Black in the UK: Masking, Codeswitching, and Other (Non)fictions (Estimated Reading Time: 90-150 mins): https://neuroclastic.com/long-read-autistic-while-black-in-the-uk-masking-codeswitching-and-other-nonfictions/

Salon talks to Morénike Giwa-Onaiwu of the Autism Women's Network about race, gender and the spectrum (Interview transcript and audio file): https://www.salon.com/2017/03/15/listen-black-female-and-autistic-hiding-in-plain-sight/

That Life. If you identify as autistic and Black, Latinx, South Asian, Asian, Pacific Islander, Indigenous, Middle Eastern, North African, or any other racial and/or ethnic minority, you are not invisible: https://www.autastic.com/that-autisticbipoc-life/


𝐏𝐎𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒
Q***r! AuDHD! BIPOC! Podcast - "where we talk about our autistic and ADHD journeys, living in multiple margins, our challenges, our joys, and what we want other q***r AuDHD BIPOC and the world to know about us."
https://www.rewilding.cc/qab and https://www.instagram.com/q***raudhdbipoc


𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒










𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏
Black Autistics: https://www.facebook.com/groups/blackautistics


𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒
Is neurodiversity a Global Northern White paradigm?:https://centaur.reading.ac.uk/121596/9/nair-et-al-2024-is-neurodiversity-a-global-northern-white-paradigm.pdf


𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐒
https://autismandrace.com/resources/
https://www.facebook.com/AutisticTyping/posts/455214035079000
https://thepunkrockautistic.com/the-punk-rock-autistic-resources/


I hope that helps. Please send me a message if there are other resources you’d like me to add.

Best wishes, John

(Image by Clay Banks)

𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐮𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬Here are some resources that ADHD or AuDHD (both Autistic and ADHD) clients and practitioners ha...
28/08/2026

𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐮𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬

Here are some resources that ADHD or AuDHD (both Autistic and ADHD) clients and practitioners have shared with me. This isn’t a complete list, it’s just a start. I’ll be adding to it as I hear more recommendations.

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𝐀𝐮𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒
Teo Byrne of NDWise Hub has written about "AuDHD as a synchronous symbiotic relationship" at https://ndwisehub.substack.com/p/audhd-as-a-synchronous-symbiotic

Jade Farrington has written an article “Is the AuDHD mind at war with itself? Replacing the narrative of conflict with a single monotropic neurology” at https://jadefarrington.substack.com/p/is-the-audhd-mind-at-war-with-itself

Dr Neff has a series of infographics about how ADHD overlaps with other conditions at https://neurodivergentinsights.com/adhd-infographics/

How Embracing the Chaos Helps My ADHD: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-embracing-chaos-helps-adhd-6822021

“Am I Going to Get Fired?” Self-Accommodations for ADHD Hazards at Work: https://www.additudemag.com/am-i-going-to-get-fired-adhd-hazards-at-work/

----

𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒
Unmasked: The Ultimate Guide to ADHD, Autism and Neurodivergence by Ellie Middleton, who is both Autistic and ADHD (AuDHD)

"An Autistic and ADHD Journey, re-writing a New Identity Post-Discovery" by Rachel Winder: https://livedplacespublishing.com/book/isbn/9781918026955

Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD by Jesse J. Anderson

The Anti-Planner Book (How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don't Feel Like It) by Dani Donovan: https://anti-planner.com/

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𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄
Autistic youtuber "Yo Samdy Sam" has a videos about being Autistic and ADHD: https://www.youtube.com/

Psychology professor Dr Inna is on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ - including her watching and reacting to the Channel 4 documentary "The Great ADHD Myth"

TEDx talk on ADHD in Girls and Women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybk2IzwV6Zg

----

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌
Sonny Jane Wise Instagram account - lots of affirming ADHD content: https://www.instagram.com/livedexperienceeducator/

https://www.instagram.com/adhdjesse/

https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergent_insights/

https://www.instagram.com/neuro_DiverS/

https://www.instagram.com/adhd_love_/

https://www.instagram.com/_dr_inna/

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𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐒
ADHD Babes: A support group for Black women and Black non-binary people of African-Caribbean descent with ADHD. https://www.adhdbabes.com/ and https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/o/adhd-babes-31447883953

----

𝐏𝐎𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐒
ADHD chatter podcast: https://www.instagram.com/adhd_chatter_podcast/
Including a 30 second Instagram video explaining ADHD overwhelm: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5_EAFdM9s2/?igsh=MTZnNzM5eTEyNXQ0

Neurodivergent Moments Podcast by comedians Abigoliah Schamaun (ADHD) and Joe Wells (Autistic): https://shows.acast.com/neurodivergent-moments

Q***r! AuDHD! BIPOC! Podcast: https://www.rewilding.cc/qab and https://www.instagram.com/q***raudhdbipoc

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𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐒
DUBBII APP – Body doubling videos to help you focus: https://www.dubbii.app/

INFLOW APP - claims to help you manage ADHD: https://www.getinflow.io/

SWEEPY APP - https://sweepy.app/ - turns household chores into a game

VARIOUS ADHD SUPPORT APPS by Neuro Motion: https://neuronotionn.gumroad.com/ e.g. Task Managers, Habit and Routine trackers, Journal and Mood logger.

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𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃
https://www.additudemag.com/women-hormones-and-adhd/

https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/menopause-and-adhd/

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𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏
ADHD and Relationships: https://theautismservice.co.uk/learn/adhd-and-relationships/

Communication Tips for Neurodiverse Couples: https://adhdandautismclinic.co.uk/communication-tips-for-neurodiverse-couples/

Please let me know if you have any questions or suggestions you’d like to add.

Best wishes, John

18/08/2026

I'll be teaching an online class on "Autism and Kink" Sunday 13th Sept. (It also touches on some other forms of neurodivergence like ADHD and alexithymia.) We'll look at why the kink community is so attractive to autistic folk, and also some accommodations to try if you're playing with a neurodivergent person. Ticket link at https://linktr.ee/JohnPendal

𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬: "𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤" 𝐒𝐮𝐧 𝟏𝟑 𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐭I'm going to be presenting my most popular workshop: "Autism and Kink", onlin...
10/08/2026

𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬: "𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤" 𝐒𝐮𝐧 𝟏𝟑 𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐭

I'm going to be presenting my most popular workshop: "Autism and Kink", online with Wicked Grounds on Sunday 13th September from 11am-1pm PDT/ 2pm-4pm EDT/ 7pm-9pm Ireland & UK time.

Although it's most centred around autism, we will be including a few other forms of neurodivergence like ADHD, AuDHD and Alexithymia (not being able to name your feelings.)

The class covers:

- What is the difference between autism and neurodivergence?
- What's the right language to use?
- What are some of the differences between autistic and neurotypical communication?
- Why are kink environments so attractive to autistic folk?
- Why are Munches so difficult, and what can we do to improve the experience?
- How can we adapt kink play for neurodivergent play partners?
- Why might autistic people be more likely to stay in a relationship that's not a good fit?

There's a handout available that you can use to read along or download for later.

Tickets on a sliding scale from https://forbiddentickets.com/events/wicked-grounds/e11af4f11b

Please let me know if you have any questions x

04/08/2026

Last week I posted a reel sharing some of my thoughts why autistic people might drink alcohol in social situations. Someone commented that what I was describing was the disease of alcoholism, and I was blaming autism and using it as an excuse for my behaviour. I've thought about that a lot over the last week. It's a useful question. If you'd like to take the test I did, it's at https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/tools/drinking-check

29/07/2026

Some thoughts on why autistic people might drink alcohol.

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