DBM Coaching

The most exhausting conversation some people have every day is the one they have with themselves.⁣
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“I just ran out of time.”⁣
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“Things got in the way.”⁣
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I’ve heard some version of those sentences hundreds of times over the years.⁣
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And if I’m honest, I used to think they were cheap excuses.⁣
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Now I think I was wrong.⁣
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For years I’ve tried to convince some of my clients that they don’t need me anymore.⁣
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Some of them are technically excellent.⁣
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Strong.⁣
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Experienced.⁣
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More than capable of training on their own.⁣
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And yet many of them keep coming back to the same conclusion.⁣
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Not that they can’t do it.⁣
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That they don’t want to do it alone.⁣
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The longer I’ve coached, the more I’ve come to appreciate something.⁣
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The people I work with spend their lives carrying responsibility.⁣
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For their families.⁣
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For their work.⁣
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For other people.⁣
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The more responsibility a person carries, the more valuable it becomes to have one area of life where they don’t have to carry it.⁣
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I used to think people paid me for training.⁣
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Now I think they’re paying for something different.⁣
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They’re paying to stop negotiating with themselves.⁣
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To stop promising they’ll start next week.⁣
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To stop wondering whether this week is the week things finally fall into place.⁣
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To know that this part of their life is being looked after.⁣
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Maybe that’s why so many capable people still ask for help, even when they could probably do it alone.

You know the one.⁣
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The week where work settles down.⁣
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The week where everyone stops needing something from you.⁣
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The week where you finally have enough time, energy and headspace to focus on yourself.⁣
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The problem is that if we’re honest, many of us have been telling ourselves some version of that story for years.⁣
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I was speaking to another coach this morning and we realised something.⁣
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The people we help aren’t choosing between training and doing nothing.⁣
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They’re choosing between themselves and everything else.⁣
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Family.⁣
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Work.⁣
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Responsibility.⁣
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People relying on them.⁣
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And somehow, the more that’s demanded of us, the more we’ve come to believe that prioritising ourselves is a selfish act.⁣
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I’m not convinced that’s true.⁣
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I think a lot of good people have simply spent too long waiting for the perfect time to start.⁣
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And I don’t think that time is coming.⁣
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Maybe I’m feeling this more than most right now because I’m living through the same stage of life myself.⁣
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But I suspect I’m not the only one.⁣
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If this feels familiar, stick around.⁣

After a week away

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And I’ll be in touch

#1 fail
#2 success
#3 celebrate

Happy Friday

I was watching a short video with Andy Wilman who was the producer on Top Gear when Top Gear was good. ⁣
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He said - There was a shoot they were doing with the lads and within 10 miles of leaving London, one of the cars had broken down. So the production crew were going to pack up and have lunch and then start again when the car was fixed. ⁣
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Jeremy said Noooo⁣
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This is the show⁣
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The struggle and the failing and the falling out and the breakdowns and the problems. ⁣
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That’s the show. ⁣
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He’s proven it again with the Farm. ⁣
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The yield and the profit is the farming. ⁣
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The ploughing the wrong field and pigs escaping and getting sentimental over cows is the show. ⁣
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With training and coaching however, there is a different standard. ⁣
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Why would you train with me, if I can’t do it myself.⁣
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But at the same time, most of you reading this will be British. ⁣
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We like the imperfection, we like the humility and the self depreciation. ⁣
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So a lot of the time, I get stuck with how to represent myself. ⁣
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Well, I had a session at 10.45 today. ⁣
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I’d forgotten that this particular session had rescheduled and I hadn’t altered my diary. ⁣
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So I had a free hour.⁣
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Went to the gym. Trained. Quite well. ⁣
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Then when I got home, all enthused and vibing with my proactive self;⁣
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I went and had a packet of mini cheddars and some caramel ice cream for my lunch. ⁣
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So that’s me. ⁣
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An imperfect coach, coaching imperfect clients. ⁣
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Trying, failing - and trying again. ⁣
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Speak soon ⁣
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Andy

I’ve never been to Paris⁣
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Don’t have any intention of visiting although at some point I may. Who knows. ⁣
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Last night I was watching, well, I was in the room doing something else, whilst a doctory kinda program was on. ⁣
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From the general context, I would say that 2 doctors were trying to fulfil a dying ladies last wish. ⁣
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They got a VR headset and earphones and played the sights and sounds of Paris for her of a virtual tour as if she was walking round herself. ⁣
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I started thinking what I would want played. ⁣
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My thoughts on this will probably change over time. ⁣
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But what I think I’d like. ⁣
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Is to have every time my boys came to me with their arms outstretched asking me to hold them and hug them. ⁣
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Whether they be in pain, upset, need a bit of regulating, are happy, achieved something new. ⁣
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I don’t ever let go until they do. ⁣
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I feel like the most important person in the world for those brief seconds - and on occasion a little longer. ⁣
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Anyway. ⁣
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That’s it. No fitness today. ⁣
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That’s just what I’m thinking. ⁣