Shonagh O’ Malley - Phoenix Family Transformations

Have you actually had enough yet?

Enough of beating yourself up all day?
knowing what you should do
but never managing to keep it together long enough
to catch it before the shout!

That gap
between knowing and reacting

That’s what wears parents down

And it doesn’t just fix itself

That’s what I work on - Message me

Most parents don’t struggle because they don’t know what to do.

They struggle because in the moment… they can’t access it.

That’s the gap I work in.

If that’s familiar, message me

Be honest

How often have you ever heard yourself mid-reaction and thought
“this isn’t how I wanted to handle that”

And then the guilt hits
The replaying it
The promise to do better

And then it happens again

That’s the part that’s exhausting
Not your child’s behaviour
The pattern

If that feels familiar, this is for you

Message me for details

I’m opening a small group for parents who feel like they’re constantly second guessing themselves.

The ones who care deeply, try hard…
and still find themselves reacting in ways they didn’t want to.

This isn’t about learning more strategies.

It’s about understanding why those reactions keep happening in the first place
and how to actually change them in real time.

Inside the group we’ll be working on:

understanding your triggers
breaking the react → guilt → repeat cycle
responding more calmly and consistently
building real confidence in how you parent

It’s a small group, and I’ll be keeping it that way so there’s proper support.

Live sessions will run weekly, and full recordings will be available if you can’t make it live.

I’ll be finalising numbers over the next few days.

If you’ve been thinking about it, just message me and I’ll send you the details.

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That moment after you’ve reacted…

When you hear it in your own voice and think,
that’s not how I wanted to handle that.

And then comes the part that really sticks:

The guilt.
The replaying it in your head.
The “I’ll do better next time.”

Only to find yourself back in the same situation again.

That cycle is what wears parents down.
Not the behaviour. The pattern.

And for a lot of parents, it’s not a lack of effort.

It’s that caring so much turns into fear,
and that’s what drives the reaction.

I wrote about this recently and it’s just been published in WE ROAR magazine.

If you’ve ever thought:
“Why did I react like that again?”
“I know better… so why can’t I do better?”

You’ll recognise yourself in it.

Link below if you want to read.

I’ve had a number of parents reach out over the last couple of weeks saying the same thing:

“I know what I should be doing… I just can’t seem to do it in the moment.”

That gap is where most of the struggle sits.

And it’s exactly what we’ll be working through in the group starting in April.

There are a couple of spaces left now.

If you’ve been thinking about it, feel free to message me.

How often do you feel the pressure building before you react?

You hear it in your own voice when you’ve already asked five times… and nothing is happening?

Do you catch yourself saying something… and instantly wish you could take it back?

And afterwards?

How often are you replaying it… telling yourself you’ll handle it better next time?

Only to find yourself back in the exact same moment again?

Most parents I speak to aren’t struggling because they don’t care.

They’re struggling because in those moments, something takes over.

The reaction isn’t a conscious choice.
It’s coming from a place that’s already overwhelmed, already full.

And that creates a pattern:

pressure building → reaction → guilt → trying harder → repeating it all again

That’s the part that’s exhausting.

That’s the part that chips away at your confidence as a parent.

The shift doesn’t come from trying to be more patient.

It comes from understanding what’s actually driving those reactions…
and learning how to respond differently in those moments.

That’s where things start to change.

More calm.
More control.
Less guilt.
Less second guessing.
More connection with your child.

I’m currently opening a small 6-week group for parents of primary school children where we work through this step by step.

I’m keeping it small (10 parents).

If this feels familiar, you’re very welcome to message me