Locker Room Power

Locker Room Power community! TWO ANNOUNCEMENTS:

1️⃣ The Locker Room Power page will be shutting down next Tuesday the 13th. Please take a second to follow me at David Sammel and Mindset College to stay up to date on my tennis coaching and new online mindset program.

2️⃣ I'm excited to invite you to join this month's FREE webinar on improving your focus, tempo, and energy. Join me at 1:00 PM EDT this coming Monday! Register NOW at this link ⬇️

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Afternoon off and took a drive to view the “Black Madonna” in a mountain church. Fantastic and odd in that the hallways in the adjoining building are filled with pictures and shrines of people for centuries who died in accidents. Some vivid car crash pictures plus others -> with family members praying to the Madonna for their well being in afterlife. 🇮🇹

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This is a tricky subject and writing about it is immediately fraught with the danger that it will offend some people.
My intention here is to open up possibilities to question what we think about this subject.
Whilst we might find a statement or action offensive it is us who decides whether to be offended.
Surely if we allow others to influence us so greatly as to make us;
...Angry
...Sad
...Hateful
...Resentful
Make us anything
......are we not giving up our freedom to choose what we allow to enter our minds, caging ourselves and entering into a life of slavery?
Are we not giving up free will when we voluntarily choose to be offended?
The combination of the country, our parents, our environment, and experiences mould our perceptions.
Is it not our choice whether we are open-minded enough to allow ourselves or others to question these perceptions?
No one can cage our minds unless we allow it. We are responsible whether we separate a statement or action from the person.
Who decides what is offensive and what is not?
We do
....yet logically are we not all just somewhere on a spectrum and in different situations can we not all be perceived as being offensive or not?
To be offended or not be offended is the question. Choosing to not be offended does not mean we agree with a statement or action.
What if we choose to freely challenge perceptions, be challenged and enter a world of fun and debate about subjects rather than judging each other for the statements we make?
Wonderful - yet not reality.
Can we expect the world to perceive as we do?
No!
There are as many opinions as there are people, so protect your freedom to choose who and what affects you.

Let it be ...... and let go!
Are you the type of person who struggles to let things be and let go?

What if you could change these feelings and let go more easily?

or....

perhaps you enjoy holding grudges and having a memory like an elephant?

I’m not advocating forgetting every transgression or zero consequences for actions, but I do think it is too easy to hold onto every day occurrences that hurt and distract us from enjoying mostly good days.

Two monks walking down a busy road come across an old lady struggling to cross.

The older monk picks up the lady and carries her across the road.

They continue their walk and two hours later the young monk says “as my mentor I have to ask you a question. According to our beliefs we are not meant to touch women, yet you carried the lady across the road?”

The older monk turns to him and says “that’s interesting because I put the woman down two hours ago and you are still carrying her.”

Whenever I get uptight and despite the story above, cannot drop something, I use other techniques.

* I imagine that if I was in another country I wouldn’t even know that this traffic jam/difficult person existed so I wouldn’t be annoyed right now
or
remember that we get what we focus on, so in a frustrating situation I can choose to shift my focus to a possible opportunity to learn something like more (patience, empathy etc)

Perhaps the reason that this person is being difficult is because of challenges in their life?
or
the fact that as annoying as this maybe, I’m still lucky to be in the position I’m in and to have the knowledge that I can choose what I notice..........

Do these techniques always work? Certainly not but they do help me a lot.

Is the most perfect thing about the world the fact that nobody is perfect?

Is expecting anyone to be perfect, including yourself just a recipe for failure and unhappiness?

Next week ✍️:
Can we avoid being offended?

Mindset College is a comprehensive life skills programme for anyone involved in competitive environments.
www.davidsammel.com

Introversion and labelling

Mary (not her real name) was really introverted and labelled herself as an introvert. She was petrified of presenting in front of colleagues and very uncomfortable in groups and meeting new people.

I asked her how comfortable she was presenting to herself in front of a mirror?

Very uncomfortable!

Mary worked for two weeks presenting in front of a mirror until she was genuinely relaxed and comfortable seeing herself.

She then presented to her family and this was videoed. She did this four times until she was comfortable.

The breakthrough was when Mary told me that she noticed how much she looked down to her left whilst presenting and spoke too fast at the start.

Fantastic!

No longer was Mary thinking about being uncomfortable. The focus had shifted to improving her performance and the way she was coming across.

Presentation day.
Whilst the start was still a little sticky it went extremely well because she had gotten comfortable presenting and now she is no longer introverted in this situation and becoming a very good presenter and .......actually enjoying experimenting with humour.

Meeting new people.
I asked “when you meet a new person, how do you know that she is not as uncomfortable as you?”

Why not break the ice and say “lovely to meet you and I just want to throw it out there that when I meet new people I feel very uncomfortable.”

I think you’ll be surprised at how many people respond with “oh I’m so glad you said that because I feel the same way.”

Labelling yourself as introverted is very unhelpful because the reality is that once you’re comfortable in a situation or with people you can be extroverted.

The defining factor is actually situational. This determines how introverted or extroverted someone will be.

How many people do we know that are fantastic at taking centre stage at a party yet cannot stand up and give a speech?

Place any extrovert in a very unfamiliar and uncomfortable situation for them and they will become very introverted.

If you wish to become more open then you have to practice and roll play -> take steps to become comfortable in more situations.

I was introverted in that situation is far healthier and labelling yourself as an introvert.

Examples of shedding the language of labels that confine you into a false box!

I failed versus I am a failure
I choked versus I am a choker
I was weak versus I am weak
I made a mistake versus I am stupid
I was shy (in that situation) versus I am shy

Why not explore Mindset College and all the different skills on offer to help you achieve more with a relaxed frame of mind?
https://www.mindsetcollege.co.uk/course?courseid=mindset-college

Paint the dream

What Covid-19 has taught us about flexibility?

I’m a big picture person. I often speak about “Painting the dream and then forgetting about it”

Broadly speaking we need to know what we want to achieve, so we know where we are headed.

Once we have a big dream we need to forget about it and get on with the job of taking the small steps that will get us closer to the dream.

It is true that a journey of 1000 miles starts with one step, and it is only when we are close to the finish line can we actually see it.

Fixating on the end zone leads to daydreaming or overwhelm.

Failing to take action on the next steps will rob us of the journey, of the ups and downs -> the chaos where we live and learn.

What Covid-19 has taught us?

Whilst we all knew that the world and people can be unpredictable, Covid-19 has sped up and redefined how much things can drastically change in a small space of time and that ‘science fiction’ movies can be real.

Perhaps our dream can either be taken away from us or made far more difficult to achieve?

We are being forced to be flexible and to adapt to very different pathways in pursuit of our futures.

Coping with long periods of uncertainty is one of the most difficult feelings and situations to handle.

As far as reaching dreams, it is far harder to aim for a moving target.

Nothing can be taken for granted or as permanent. Many industries are struggling to cope and the way things are done is in flux with many things changing.

However..........

What if we reframe uncertainty as exciting and get curious about the opportunities change offers?

I think many people feel awkward about seeing opportunity, when inundated with stories about human suffering.

Whilst it’s important to have empathy and sensitivity around tragic circumstances it is equally important that we look after our own mental health and see the other side of a dark coin, a side that is shiny and full of opportunity for growth.

We must acknowledge the good that new perspectives bring to the world.

Upon reflection consider flexibility and versatility!

How can these attributes help you alter your approach and keep you constructive?

Be open to new horizons if they make sense to you.

You may have to dream a different dream but remember the adventure you are on needs to be savoured because it’s yours.

Don’t just choose a life, live a life!

We arrived at Heathrow at 5am to go to Doha for Australian Open qualifying.

Turned down -> no message on our booking from organisers.

We call and told it will be ok just wait. Time ticks by. My nature I push - nothing and Qatar no longer answering phone.

Flight missed. Finally at 9am we are sanctioned for 2pm flight. Arrive Doha 11.30 - busy and disorganised and we go through immigration control only to be told Covid test is other side.

Waiting.....get escorted and test is done. Long drive and finally bed at 2.30am.

One can of 3 new balls per day! C’mon for hard hitting pros they are chewed in 30mins.

Cannot shower at courts.
Cannot leave hotel accept to take transport to courts.
Cannot use all the wonderful hotel facilities.
Cannot eat anywhere other than the room arranged for players and coaches.

We are so grateful. We have work. There is a tournament to play.

Resilience grows and perspective changes if you want them to!

People survived concentration camps and other horrors often by luck and more often by their choice of attitude.

Mindset College -> a way to a healthy mind

Really enjoyed the opportunity to talk Mindset College on the ITA Podcast today. Sharing the importance of Mindset with College coaches and College players .

Mindset is Everything - David Sammel [Coaches Podcast] | ITA #WeAreCollegeTennis David Sammel of Mindset College joins us on the ITA College Tennis Coaches Podcast to discuss focus and mental strength for players.

(qualifying in Doha) - in a good hotel but the bubble means we can’t go out or use the facilities - so it is courts, room and where we eat. Grateful that the tournaments are going ahead despite the challenges involved. Maybe I ought to post more? .

Friday Mindset College Collection (MCC) - Tools for your Toolbox

As we head into 2021, every Friday starting today, I’m going to post a problem solver to add to your collection of mindset tools.
Do you ever overwhelm yourself with:
- toooo... many goals?
- goals that are toooo big and actually demotivate you?
- goals that deep down you know will never be achieved in the timespan allocated?
Setting goals: The Mindset College programme includes little gems such as “teaching yourself to trust yourself” and part of this process is to set “Goals from the Heart”.
Essentially this means listening to your ‘gut instinct” an achievable goal which is a stretch rather than overwhelming. This is different from setting a goal that is expected or just sounds good.
Sometimes consolidation is a better and more valid goal.
Another helpful way of setting goals is to write a letter to yourself dated December 20, 2021 where you state exactly what you have achieved in the year. Write it in the past tense like you have already achieved what you set out to do.
This serves two functions - seeing yourself having already done what you said you would do and serves as a continual motivation during the year - if you read it daily or at the very least weekly.
We are offering you the chance to take advantage of setting yourself up for a really positive year.
We are offering you "Mastering the little things" for the incredibly low price of £29 for 72 hours.

Mastering the little things In this mini course you learn how to set goals differently, that helps you build trust in yourself. Daily routines reinforce this trust and build an iron from consistent ex*****on. Whilst this mini course is part of Mindset College for the Athlete, alone it teaches how to trust yourself as an Athlet...

The new wonderful hotel dinner experience!