Susan Catherine Keter

Susan Catherine Keter

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* Transformational life coach
* Spiritual life coach
* Business & Entrepreneurship coach Transform yourself layer after layer.

Unveil your authentic and fulfilled self. Set yourself free from limiting beliefs.

Operating as usual

10/01/2025

Is dancing part of your daily routines?

31/12/2024

Happy and Prosperous New Year 🎊🎊🎉🎈

HealthWise Bulletin 004/11/024: Healing from ACEs: A Path to Emotional Wellness. 27/11/2024

🌟 Are you already subscribed to our free weekly bulletin? Do you receive tips and insights about parenting, relationships, emotional and physical well-being, business and entrepreneurship and so much more, delivered to your email free of charge?

Our Sixth Issue of the HealthWise Bulletin is Here! 🌟

This week, we dive into the Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) on health across the lifespan. From struggles before birth, during birth, and beyond, we aim to help you understand and address the challenges ACEs create in our lives.

The past doesn’t have to hold you back. We share solutions and strategies to help you overcome past traumas and reclaim your well-being.

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Enjoy this week’s edition and be empowered to build a healthier, happier future!

The HealthWise Team

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Susan Catherine Keter

HealthWise Bulletin 004/11/024: Healing from ACEs: A Path to Emotional Wellness. Thank you for subscribing to and reading our weekly bulletin. This marks our sixth issue, and we are deeply encouraged by your continued support. Your engagement motivates us to tackle topics that strengthen healthy families and communities. It is especially fulfilling when you share feedback about....

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 05/11/2024

Respect other people's boundaries, even when you think that the choices they have made are not exactly the best. Trying to take over another person's life is a boundary problem.

04/11/2024

Lots of discussions about cosmetic surgery on these streets...

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 04/11/2024

Beliefs that are passed on are a way of preserving a family's, community's or religion's values. Children would be taught values through folk stories, songs, Sunday school narratives and plays, etc.

Were you ever told stories about ogres, wild animals, rainy seasons, harvest seasons, a devil with a folk jembe ready to roast disobedient individuals, etc. ?

What beliefs and value systems did those experiences instill in you? How do those experiences impact your adult life? Do other members of your family or community share those same values and beliefs? How did you all come to share those beliefs and values?

Do you know that over 90% of our beliefs are based on what other people programmed in us from a young age? Our parents, elder siblings and other family members like grandparents, uncles and aunts. Also religious leaders, Sunday school teachers, kindergarten teachers, etc.

This means that what we are was largely preprogrammed in us by our parents, relatives, culture, religion, environment, etc., unless we have put in the work to reprogram our subconscious programs. We didn't make a conscious decision to be that way.

A lot of the programming that was instilled in us by others served the intentions of those people but unfortunately, often works against us, leading to self-sabotage later in life. That programming is outdated and redundant yet it forms the foundation of our belief systems, driving our lives.

First and foremost, it was programmed for a world that no longer exists. Secondly, we end up self-sabotaging and serving other people’s agenda most of our lives because of that programming.

Think of something that you loved while you were growing up and was discouraged from pursuing it by people you looked up to, people who had authority over you. Maybe you loved singing, drawing, playing a sport, acting or making people laugh, etc., but you were prevailed upon to give up on your dream because girls/boys don’t do that, it does not pay, it is a sin, people who pursue such careers are immoral, etc.

The real reasons why that person in authority discouraged you was their own belief systems, most which are actually limiting beliefs. Maybe the person had self-esteem issues and feared failure, maybe the person was unhealed and cared about public image and people pleasing, etc.

They discouraged you because of their own unprocessed fears and not necessarily because it was the right thing for you. They did not instill in you beliefs that were based on research. The beliefs were not facts but mostly prejudices.

Doing something that you love or are good at it is critical for a healthy self-esteem. Probably you struggle with self-esteem issues because you were made to pursue a path that is not right for you. You feel lost and unfulfilled.

Maybe the reason why success has eluded you is because you pursued a route that is not right for you. Success is in allowing and failure is in resistance. Rowing a boat downstream is easy, you can even keep the oars inside the boat and just float.

Unfortunately, if you do not question things and invest in self-awareness, you are likely to go through life self-sabotaging. You could look back at the end of your life with regrets.

Do you know that banks, salesmen and women, insurance agents, advertisers, religious leaders, politicians, dysfunctional parents, cosmetic surgeons, shylocks and many others benefit from people because they were programmed negatively?

Before you rush to judge that individual whom you think is good looking yet goes for cosmetic surgery over and over again, pause and think about the power of subconscious programming. The same case with that person who gives way more than he/she can afford to give, sometimes to the extent of hurting the immediate family.

Even abusers, scammers, ponzi and pyramid schemes thrive because of people’s negative self-image. Saying 'yes' to such schemes is nothing but self-sabotage! People who lack self-awareness do not realize that when they say ‘yes’ to someone else they are actually saying ‘no’ to themselves.

Do not be quick to judge. You may be guilty of self-sabotaging as well, only that your behaviors are different from those of the one you are pointing fingers at. Before you focus on another person's failures, spare some time to look inwards.

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 03/11/2024

Are you in pain because someone hurt you, maybe a romantic partner? Much as you would want to focus on other people and what they have done to you, the reality is that the life experiences that we go through are attracted by our internal magnet.

The power to determine the quality of your relationships is within you. Yes, you can shed the victim mentality and take charge of your life, take responsibility for your results in all areas of life, including relationships.

This is the time to prove that the belief that ‘people with good hearts attract people who use them’ is false. Two people who are challenged in different ways attract each other, like a magnet attracting a metal.

Two unhealed individuals fit into each other like a hand and glove. Other people are simply actors in a script they did not create.

Your energy fields are your point of attraction, your internal magnet. You can change the quality of the experiences you go through by changing your internal magnet.

You attach to people in an unhealthy way in relationships simply because your point of attraction is your wounds so you end up attracting other wounded people. That is what it means that unhealed wounds attract flies. Don't focus on blaming the flies.

The thoughts one repeats to themselves over and over again throughout life are driven by one’s programming. It is possible to go through life telling yourself that you are not worthy or capable of success. You convince yourself that you don’t deserve better.

Many people have an inner parent or inner critic voice that is in reality not one’s own voice but the voice of the people who controlled one as a child. “You can’t do it… You are not good enough… Who do you think you are? You are not as good as your brother/sister… It is not doable...”

One’s programming is like a record. It just keeps on playing over and over again, unless the individual puts in the work to change that programming.

This explains why people try to run away from the quality of life in their families of origin, but the struggle is like that of a tethered animal. They can only go so far before they are back to the familiar standard of life.

They achieve some level of success that sets them apart from the standards they are used to then they lose it and end up back in the same standards. The human brain keeps us safe by treating familiar as safe and unfamiliar as dangerous. Unfamiliar needs to be got rid of at all costs.

Someone grew up in poverty. He does well financially for some time then loses the money and drops back to the familiar financial struggle.

Sometimes the loses are due to bad decisions while in other cases it is due to circumstances beyond the control of the individual such as market collapse, natural disasters, change in technology, etc. The internal magnet is powerful!

Someone grew up in a broken home. She grows up and falls in love, gets into a relationship that seems all perfect only for the relationship to fall apart and she ends up raising her children in a broken home just as happened to her.

Some people end up single as a result of factors beyond their control such as death of the spouse. What is unfamiliar has to be got rid of at whatever cost...

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 01/11/2024

We have to live with the reality that 8 or 9 people out of 10 lack self-awareness. People who have invested in self-awareness are the exception rather than the norm.

If you take offense every time people focus their life camera on you based on their level of perception, life becomes too burdensome. Constantly remind yourself that you have no capacity to control another person's level of growth - or lack of it. None of us does.

Only a healthy person can establish healthy boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. Therefore, an individual who lacks self-awareness saying that you are bad for establishing healthy boundaries is what is expected.

Everyone who establishes healthy boundaries gets that resistance from those who have no capacity to understand boundaries. It is normal to experience resistance as you establish boundaries.

Focus on you and what is in your power to control. Shine your light and keep moving. Forgive quickly. Don't hold grudges.

Allowing your emotions to get entangled in another person's level of understanding will only hurt you. The other party is very comfortable being at that level. They have nothing to lose. Be in control of you.

You don’t rush to cut people off left, right, front and centre simply because they don't see things your way, of course unless they are a threat to your existence.

You understand that you have been shaped by unique factors and so have they. You are all unique human beings. Healthy boundaries make clear what areas you share and those that you do not.

Let me share my experience. I have been on the personal development journey for 20+ years. That journey has seen me shed layer upon layer of programming and I continue to shed more. I am continually learning new things, growing and evolving.

What do you think happens when I discard a belief or practice that was programmed in us and taken as the gospel truth maybe in the family or other close circles?

Of course, those who have not invested in self-awareness (and they are the majority) become judgmental, make cutting remarks hoping that I get the message, gossip about me, sideline me, etc., in an effort to save me from the way that is different from the one they know.

Do not panic because of the resistance to boundaries. When you don't react to triggers, the relationships gradually become healthier. If however both of you hurt each other such as by exchanging hurtful words, blocking each other, complaining about each other to other people, etc., then the other party feels good that you too are guilty. It is a draw.

Take charge of the situation by exercising self-control and refraining from getting drawn into reacting to triggers. When you do that, those people who conduct themselves in an unhealthy way feel bad afterwards about the way they acted. They may even try to make amends.

Human beings grow when they are challenged, not when things are easy. Embrace the opportunity to get challenged so that you can learn and become better. Challenges don't necessarily come to destroy you. Accept them as part of life.

Human beings experience life challenges so that they can grow. It may take time for some people’s eyes to open to that fact but if you maintain healthy boundaries in all your interaction with them, you will empower them without struggling to convince them that they need help.

Allow your light to illuminate the path of others around you. Don’t struggle to convince them. Don't belittle them or try to show them that you are better than them.

Don’t lower yourself to their level. Don't fuel the fires by getting your emotions awakened and entangled. That is what fuels the dysfunctions in relationships.

When you get angry, storm out of venues in anger, rush to block people, cry, shout, threaten, play victim (and the way I did a,b,c,d for you...), etc., you fuel the fires. Your wounds get deeper and the relationship becomes worse.

Do not give people who lack self-awareness the reaction they are looking for. Stabilize your ship when the storms of unhealthy communication rage.

Breathe in and out then ask yourself why exactly it hurt. What within you needs to heal because healed scars don’t hurt? What is the underlying issue?

Triggers are teachers. Be grateful for the opportunity to learn and become a better person.

As you work on yourself and become healthier, you will be able to make a shift in the way you focus your life camera, to have improved boundaries rather than very tight boundaries that shuts out everyone who holds a different view from you. You will be able to respect diversity. It will no longer be either your way or the highway.

Many people learn the hard way that cutting off everyone during good times comes back to bite during difficult phases of life such as when one loses the source of income, gets seriously ill, is bereaved, their house or business is vandalized or burns down, etc.

Learn the lessons during good times rather than waiting to learn during difficult times. Human beings are relational beings. We all need other people even though they don't see things exactly the way we do.

Separation consciousness does great damage to relationships, to communities, to nations and to the world at large. Intolerance does not exactly make the world a better place for all of us.

01/11/2024

Happy New Month 🎉🎊

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 30/10/2024

Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

The more ACEs one experienced as a child, the higher the risk of the following as an adult:

√ Developing type 2 diabetes (the trauma response leads to insulin resistance)

√ Have heart disease (the trauma response raises heart rate and blood pressure)

√ Likely to either be violent or be a victim of violence in an intimate relationship

√ Likely to experience poor maternal health outcomes such as baby being born premature and/or underweight

√ Likely to develop health conditions that are associated with inflammation such as arthritis (when stress chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol circulate in the blood stream for long, they have a corrosive effect on body cells)

√ Likely to abuse substances and battle addiction problems

√ Likely to end up either in prison or dead in crime or gang related incidents.

√ Likely to develop blood clotting disorders (the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response is trying to save the individual from bleeding to death as a result of being attacked by an imaginary predator).

√ Likely to develop cancer (stress chemicals damage body cells leading to high level of free radicals).

√ Likely to develop mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, being suicidal, memory loss and at a more advanced age, Alzheimer's.

When you see someone struggling with some of these issues, don't be quick to judge. The neurological damage caused by Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is the root cause in a lot of these cases.

Families pay a very high cost because of ACEs especially as parents who have not healed from ACEs age. ACEs drive up the burden of disease.

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 29/10/2024

Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

29/10/2024

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Healthwise Bulletin – Susan Catherine Keter Healthwise Bulletin HealthWise Bulletin We are pleased to introduce HealthWise, a new publication from Susancatherineketer.com, designed to guide you on your journey to health and well-being. We chose the name HealthWise because we believe wisdom is essential for achieving good health, especially in...

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 29/10/2024

How do Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) contribute to shortened lifespan?

One way that Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) contribute to risk of shortened lifespan is due to resulting vulnerability to poor choices in life such as poor choice of friends and/or romantic partners coupled with poor quality of interpersonal relationships due to lack of critical life skills.

Lack of critical life skills also contributes to poor work habits such as overworking, being unable to say ‘no’ thus taking up more responsibilities than they can handle, partying or socializing excessively hence not getting adequate rest, lack of discipline in areas such as healthy habits that include regular physical exercises, healthy food choices and time management. Being addicted to eating unhealthy foods as a way of coping with stress is a real risk factor.

Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response intended to distract one from what they would be forced to acknowledge and feel if they slowed down. It serves the same purpose as dependence on substances and/or risky behavior.

The unhealthy choices are largely because without investing in self-awareness and empowerment, the subconscious programming will still attract the familiar, unhealthy environment over what is unfamiliar. Subconsciously, familiar is safe and comfortable while unfamiliar is unsafe and uncomfortable. Familiar is the comfort zone.

The risks are many, including pushing themselves to unhealthy limits driven by the desire to outsmart everyone else in an effort to either prove themselves or impress. This happens because they don’t feel good enough.

Have you witnessed cases of individuals who push themselves to achieve impossible targets until they will even die trying? Have you encountered people who seem to subconsciously have a death wish based on the dangerous risks they take?

People who experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and have not healed are susceptible to overdoing things for example poor work habits such as overworking, being unable to say ‘no’ thus taking up more responsibilities than they can handle, partying or socializing excessively hence not getting adequate rest.

The trauma response also leads them to reject advice that could help them including professional advice, sabotaging their efforts to improve their lives.

All this is compounded by lack of discipline in areas such as healthy habits that include regular physical exercises, healthy food choices and time management. Timewasting such as endlessly scrolling on social media or playing online games can be a coping mechanism.

Let me expound on this matter. It is scientifically proven that biochemistry drives behavior. Those people who have no motivation to do what they know that is good for them and therefore they ought to do it are not necessarily bad, irresponsible guys. No.

The programming that pushes them to make bad decisions over and over again goes way deeper than conscious reasoning or rationalizing. That explains why taking people through a program to heal from the damage caused by Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) results in behavior change.

Having unhealed childhood memories that are buried in the subconscious mind also means that whenever they are touched, you get triggered. When you get triggered, the body produces stress chemicals to fight with an inexistent enemy. Every time you go through that state, the existing wounds become deeper, and your health gradually gets damaged.

Besides the likelihood of using unhealthy coping mechanisms such as comfort eating, use of substances, overworking, partying in excess in an effort to numb the pain, engaging in risky sexual behavior, getting into conflicts and fights, etc., people who are in that unhealed state deteriorate with time until one day there is a massive stressor that causes a stroke or heart attack and their lives end that way.

The massive stressor may trigger violence or su***de. Are you aware of people whose lives end prematurely because they have engaged in violence and harmed someone? How do their lives end?

Some people are killed by police, die in a fight or through mob justice as a result of engaging in violence because buried trauma makes it easy for them to get triggered. Some die by su***de or kill someone as a result of a massive stressor.

A good example is people who die by su***de after bullying, cyberbullying, job loss, business collapse, bereavement, inability to pay debts or a nasty breakup.

That is the massive stressor or the final straw that broke the camel’s back. There was a huge boulder of baggage below the surface. What pushed them overboard was simply a trigger.

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 17/09/2024

Healthy boundaries in marriage

Two distinct individuals come together in marriage. What does this mean? It means that each of them is complete before coming into a relationship with another person.

Each partner has his/her own:

✓ Thoughts
✓ Opinions
✓ Ideas and creativity
✓ Feelings
✓ Behaviors
✓ Values and belief systems
✓ Circles and networks
✓ Hobbies
✓ Career

These are things that one cannot take from another. If you do not like any of these things in your partner, then you need to communicate your concerns.

To build healthy relationships, one needs life skills such as communication, negotiation, persuasion, conflict resolution, decision making, ability to establish healthy boundaries, etc.

In a marital relationship, the two people who come together in marriage have each been shaped by very unique factors. It is therefore not possible for the two of them to agree with each other about everything.

Life skills enable them to cede ground in some areas and to respect diversity in others. A healthy relationship is one where people are able to accommodate each other. If it is either your way or the highway, critical life skills are lacking.

Do you know that some of the things you would want to change in your partner are actually just the way you were programmed from a young age?

"My mother has always fried fish this way so it is either this way or the highway...."
"The people around me when I was growing up were all self employed and portrayed a negative attitude towards formal employment. It is really not that formal employment is wrong..."

What you know as a result of what you have been exposed to is a very small percentage of the possibilities.

Life skills enable you to be open to learning new things. You understand that there is so much you don't know so you don't try to act as though your way is the universal truth.

Being self aware enables you to respect diversity, to listen to the other party with an open mind, not feel threatened by unfamiliar things, be open to researching about and learning new things and respecting another person's boundaries.

Healthy boundaries protect both parties and make healthy relationships possible.

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 05/09/2024

We need to begin with a basic understanding of human behavior. That will enable us to look at struggling human beings from a point of compassion. Once we have an idea that people don't choose to have behavior struggles, forgiving will be easier.

There is a root cause to every behavior, in most cases the family of origin. No one wakes up one day and decides to be a certain way. Every individual was largely programmed by prenatal, perinatal and postnatal factors. It takes self awareness to rise above behavior challenges and not everyone has it. There are many people who have resigned to fate, believing that their fate is sealed. Lack of awareness is also why many people are judgmental, have no compassion on other imperfect human beings.

What we are is shaped largely by the following factors:

√ Prenatal factors (what happens in the womb e.g. substances the mother took while expectant, emotions she experienced e.g. anger, fear, grief, etc.) Do take some time to research about medications that have black box warning in countries such as USA because they cause violence in children whose mothers were on them while pregnant.

Some people are born already condemned to be violent because of substances and other unfavorable circumstances they were exposed to while in womb. Others were predisposed to behavior struggles right from the womb because their mothers regretted the pregnancy and wished death to the babies they were carrying. Some cases of rejection have roots in the emotions the expectant mothers went through and prayers they prayed in their hearts.

√ Perinatal factors (circumstances around the birth process such as prolonged labour, birth injuries, etc.) Our healthcare services are still wanting plus some mothers still deliver at home.

√ Postnatal factors (mainly what happens the first 7 years of life, before the ability to question or analyze things sets in). These are factors such as loss of a parent through separation and/or divorce, death, etc., child abuse/neglect/maltreatment, exposure to violence in the home, neighborhood, etc., a parent who battled chronic illness, substance abuse in the family, a family member who was in prison or involved in crime, etc.

I no longer blame any human being for his/her behavior struggles any more than a medical professional would blame an individual who portrays physical symptoms. Struggling individuals need guidance to do comprehensive history taking in order to get to the root cause of their struggles. Many don't understand why they are the way they are so criticizing, shaming and gossipping about them is not the way to help. What they need is help to understand where they are coming from so that they take charge of their lives by addressing their struggles from the roots.

Unfortunately, most people blame, criticize, shame, belittle and gossip about struggling human beings, making their struggles worse. Human beings don't simply choose to be a certain way, they are shaped by diverse factors.

My prayer is that mental and psychological health services in this nation will be improved. Many people rush to demonize dysfunctional adult children and view parents as victims yet in a lot of cases parents who have not healed from their own baggage or who lack parenting skills damage the children they raise.

Far too many people grew up in dysfunctional families, grow up and become parents before they have put in the work to become healthier, functional individuals. They end up replicating the dysfunctional homes they grew up in and in the process, raise unhealthy/dysfunctional children who grow up to do the same and the cycle continues.

Upbringing plays a very important role in determining the way an individual turns out. For example, critical life skills are instilled from a young age through upbringing. People don't acquire life skills in childhood only to lose them as adults. If they don't have them as adults, they didn't have them all along.

In a nutshell, emotional and/or behavior struggles have roots in prenatal, perinatal and postnatal factors, it is normally not about here and now. What you are observing now are simply manifestations of multigenerational problems. That is why to work with people to transform their lives, the first step is comprehensive history taking in order to identify the root cause, roots that run several generations deep.

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 18/08/2024

Advice giving does not actually help people.

You are concerned about John's behavior. He is over generous yet he has no savings, no investments, no fall back plan should he find himself out of job. You want to help him so you explain to him why it is important to put some money aside before helping other people to solve their own problems.

The behavior you are concerned about is just but the tip of the iceberg. You do not see the huge boulder below the surface; the boulder that consists of low self esteem.... inferiority complex... people pleasing.... fear of abandonment.... terror at the possibility of being alone......

No matter what you say in terms of advice, John's emotions are all over the place, screaming so loudly they drown out your voice.

Yes, John might give you all kinds of promises about how he had understood you and was going to change but the truth of the matter is that he is a captive to his emotions. He lacks the capacity to win the war against the behavior that silences his emotions and calms him down....

Photos from Susan Catherine Keter's post 16/08/2024

Have you been criticized over something you may already be struggling with? It could be a character trait, the way you handled a particular situation, a decision you made, etc.

If you faced criticism or rejection from a young age and have not put in the work to heal, it is especially difficult to handle criticism because it pokes unhealed emotional wounds.

We can learn a lot from criticism (both positive and negative criticism). We may not learn from destructive criticism since its intention is to hurt (you know those people throw punches about the shape of your nose, your height, the color of your skin, the way your mom or dad died, etc.)

As long as we are alive and breathing, we shall be criticized. Unhealed emotional wounds bleed when one is criticized and that can punch a dent on your self esteem, which may already be fragile as a result of damage inflicted in childhood.

So, how best do you handle criticism? First and foremost is developing the capacity to listen to critics with an open mind.

You may need to learn relaxation exercises because if you fail to calm yourself down, the fight, flight and freeze impulse will kick in and you will lose control, the ability to listen and learn lost as you get into defense mode. You may even end up lashing out at the other party then feeling bad and beating yourself up about it afterwards.

You need to learn how to speak to yourself at such moments "it is okay... I can learn something from this... Every conversation is a learning experience..."

It is only if you can calm yourself down that you will be able to learn from criticism and grow. Not all criticism is intended to hurt you. Some of it is like an extra set of eyes, illuminating parts of you that you are not able to see, shinning light on your blind spots.

Learn from it and become a better person. And forgive yourself when you fail. Things won't fall in place in a day. Keep practising. Keep strengthening your muscles. You will get better gradually.

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