JERRY TV

Rainy Jokes 😂🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣

1. Them : you have to stop telling your partner everything 🤓

Me: babe those people say I should stop telling you every thing can you imagine 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1. Maths teacher be like " I no is time for break but let's quickly solve one or two equations before I leave 😳😳
Me: mad teacher I hate you 😭💔😭🤣😭🤣

4. If I later get babe, una go view status tire🫩🤓😀🤣😂😅😆😁

5. As a girl why your nyash go strong you be tortoise 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

6.if this my new relationship go well, I fit marry, before this year runs end

8 nothing concerned me and you relationship, once I love you babe, go found another babe 🤓🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

9. Some of you deserve to be broke, because you don't behave well when you have the money 💸 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

10.Apart from break up, make up, wake up, f**k up, luck up and look up, which other up do you know 🤓 don't spoil the fun

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🌼𝗠𝗬 𝗝𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗙𝗘🌼

How do I stop my wife from being excessively Je@lous??
I have tried everything to make her understand the fact that I love her with my life.💖
I have never cheated on her since I met her and got married to her since 2 years ago.

She would constantly tell me that she wants to protect me from all these Highway girls 🙄🙄

I guess she started thinking that I was a cheat the day she saw me looking at the b**ttocks of another lady.

I tried to make her believe that I was just admiring the lady's red gown but she insisted that I was looking at her bombom!!

"Honey,how would I even look at another lady's b*tt?🤔
Moreover it is not as big as yours", I said.

Wife: Ooooh So you have even measured her bombom in your heart right??😠😠

Me: Sweetheart, it is not like that .it's just that....

She cuts in....

My wife: We shall see in this house😡😡

From that day, my wife was showing me the promised Land but never allowed me to enter it😩😩
She would wear transparent night wears to get my attention but she would use our pillow to separate us so that I will not cross the boundary.

My wife started doing things that will affect me at night because she knows that I loved hunting at night...

One of the nights, She wore a red skimpy revealing night gown that was about to make me go crazy...
As I wanted to touch her, she said..

Wife: Bia, if you touch me tonight eeeeh, I will wound you ooo

Me: Honey, why are you doing this to me??😭😭
I have paid for it oooo...

My wife: It was yours till that day I caught you staring at that lady's b*tt.
If you ever touch me tonight eeeeh, I will shout "r*pe" so that outsider would hear us.

I reluctantly left her to sleep but she never knew I had plans on how to make her go crazy just like I did🤔🤔🤔🤔

Next chapter loading.

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How to keep your boyfriend 😁😁

1. Give him space
2. Don't ch£ on him
3. Don't demand anything
4. Don't sūspêct hīm of ch£
5. Love him with all your heart

How to keep your girlfriend 😁😁

1. Give her møney
2. I said give her mønêy
3. Don't førget to give her mønêy
4. Hope you give her mønêy
5. My brother give her mønêy
6 When your mønêy is f!nïsh introduce her to someone who will continue giving her mønêy

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Use 1 minute and thank God for keeping you alive 🙏

😂 EVENING JOKES 😂

1. The only reason why women pray and f@st against spiritual husband is that they doesn't give mønêy 💸 💵 💵 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭🤣

2. Were others go and fa!I, be very careful I no come here to motivate you 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭

3. They adm!t you for hosp!tal, you dey find find b£d wey near s0cket 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 Cynthia I no even understand 😳 😁 😳 😳 🤣 😳

4. CYNTHIA One day you go look back and smile but for now look front before Okada j@m you 💔🤓🤓😲😲

5.The girl I dey plan to marry the use her finger the B@rb her pr!vate hair, guys I need advice 🤣🤣🤣

6. I just fin!shêd Genesis 😉 Eve saw a talking sn@ke and she didn't rūñ, she con follow sn@ke 🐍 talk , and con still bill the sn@ke ontop😂😄 Fe@r woman 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️

7. Person go just hold phone, una go look the back😈😣😤 the day wey I go te@r person sl@p🤣🤣

8. Nothing concern me with weather for 2🙅🙇🙎 make rain f@ll make I wear p@nt go baff 😍

9.. Even the strongest man for bible the lock door if he wan sleep 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🤓🤓

10. The first sign of st!ñgy boy friend is good English😭😭 if you like ārgúê

SUNDAY MORNING JOKES 😂

I gave my housegirl the following list of items to buy in the market...

Rice 200
Meat 500
Beans 300
Total 1000

After 4 hours, the girl was yet to return. The i got āñgryy and worried at the same time, the i went searching for her.

Luckily, I saw her t!red sitting at the corner of a shop in the market, then i asked her in âñgêrr,
Me : What are you doing here? Why haven't you returned home?

HOUSEMAID: sir , I've bought everything you asked me to buy except one item. I have gone through all the stalls in the market but they said it's not available. I even went to three different markets before coming back to sit down here to rest.

Me : And what is the item remaining?🙄

HOUSEMAID: sir, it's Total, I have asked all the shops and nobody is selling Total.🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏻‍♂️

EVENING JOKES 😂

👮 police: where do you live?

😌 me: with my parents.

👮 police: where do your parents live?

😌 me: with me.

👮 police: so where do all of you live?

😌 me: together 😭

👮 police: where is your house located?

😌 me: beside my neighbor’s house.

👮 police: and where is your neighbor’s house?

😌 me: beside my own house 😭😂

👮 police: are you trying to play with me?!

😌 me: no officer, i’m helping you with directions 😭

👮 police: okay… what color is your house?

😌 me: the same color as the one beside it 😭💔

👮 police: what is in front of your house?

😌 me: road.

👮 police: what is behind your house?

😌 me: backyard 😌

👮 police: 😡😡😡

😌 me: officer calm down na, even google maps asks questions 😭😂

👮 police: final warning… how can i locate your house quickly?!

😌 me: easy 😌
just ask anybody for “the house beside my neighbor’s house” 😭💀😂

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Laugh Again 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

1.changing positi0n is very us£less, because you Will still put it in the same h0le, why not put the phone in the same place and ch@rge it well prop£rly 😭😭🤣😆🤣😆 only legend Will und£rstand 💔😭😁.

2.No body can cook rübb!sh like L@st born, those cr£atures can even fry water 😳🤪😲😧👀😁.

3. You were once some one sun sh!ne, what h@ppen,me" cl!mate change" and you, let's see in the comment 😳😲🤪😳🤪😳.

4. Give your relationship a movie name, me "mission imp0ssible" you 💔😭😆😳😲😳.

5.you are busy dyy!ng for some one, who is also dyy!!ng for some one and that some one is dyyy!!ng for another person, D£ people everywhere 🏃🏃🏃💔🤪😧

6. The person am dating now will e!ther be my marriage partner or my first murd£r c@se , all I know is that people will g@ther 💔😜😬😬😬😬😬😬.

7.if you dey follow my foot steps, abeg go back more I don do mist@ke 💔🤣🤣🤣🤣.

8.she has been using different ch@rgers to ch@rge her phone, now the phone is füll, now she is c0nfuse on who to thank most for the ch@rger, it's for l£gend 🤪🤪😳😳👀👀

9.two days in relationship and you are already calling him your pill@r, can you all0w the c£ment to dry 🤓🤣🏃😧😧😧💔

10. Am asking for the l@st time before money 💸💵 💵💵💵 was introduced what do ladies found interested about men😳😬😁😭💔

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LAUGH THIS EVENING 😂

1. My cousin stōle 20k from his dad and gave me 5k to keep quiet. When I was about leaving, I heard my uncle telling his wife that someone stōl£ the 20k he wanted to give me😀😂🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️
Should I keep quiet??

2. My weeding party will be unique,
There will be brê@k time, Everyone on s£at will come home and eat, then come back and spray us money😍😂😂🤣.

3. Dad: When I bē@t you, how do you control your âñger?
Me: I start clearing the t0!lët 🙆‍♀️
Dad: And how does that satisfy you?
Me: I clean it with your toothbrush😂😂🤷‍♀️🙆‍♀️

4. I swê@r to do what is in number 8. Yes I promise to like your profile picture🙏

5. AK pos was baptized into a Christian church and the pastor asked him to choose a Christian name.
Akpos: I would be glad to be called Grace🙆‍♀️
Pastor: No naa, grace is for female
Akpos: what of D!sgraçe?😂😂🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

6 Those named Nancy, do you know the full name is Pregn@ncy?😂🤭🤭.
Who st0ned me?

7. Instead of joining çūlt in school, dy!ñg like fowl, while not just tell your parents to use u for money r!túãls 😂😆🙆‍♀️
Simple arithmetic😂😂😂🥱

8. pls go to my profile and follow me, Remember you swê@r to do what is in number 8🙏

9. A girl go wear p@d, p@nt , tight, trouser, and still cross leg.😆🙆‍♀️
How air go take enter the C P U?😆😆

10. The best singer in the world is the møsquito cause even if you don't like his song, you must still clap for him 🙆‍♀️😂😂😆🤣.

11.. I sw£ar to God that I will like and comment on this post,, 🤔remember you just sw£ar ooo🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

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THE PHONE CALL..........................

Hello?" Hi' honey, this is daddy is mommy near the phone?"

No daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Paul."

After a brief pause".

Daddy says" But honey you haven't got an uncle Paul "

Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with mommy, right now."

Brief pause"

Uh okay then, this is what I want you to do. "Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to mummy that daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"

Okay daddy, just a minute"

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

I did it daddy,"

And what h@ppened honey?" He asked.

Well mommy got all scared, 😱😱jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all "

Oh my God!!!!!🤨🤨🤨 What about your uncle Paul?

He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all sc@red and jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He h!t the bottom of the pool and I think he's d£"

Long pause ", 🤔🤔🤔

Daddy says, swimming pool?... Is this 70486_5731🤨🤨🤨 oh my gosh wrøng number
🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🤦🤦🤦🙆🤦