Half Time Oranges

Travis kelce and Taylor Swift
Are just 15 years later
And less hot
Troy Bolton and Gabrielle Montez

Nothing more alpha than dropping a bunch of fresh fish you caught off to your mate and he asks if you can fillet them for you

Gonna make my future wife get a b**b job but just get v**es hooked up to her ni***es so i can rip my v**e mid root like an asthma inhaler

Normally tinder is a game of hot or not but in wellington its a game of tr**ny or not

You expect me to follow the Geneva convention rules ? It sounds alot like my ex called gen so im gonna wipe my ass with those rules and go commit war crimes

Tinder is just facebook marketplace but for dump trucks and heavy machinery

Anyone else reading 80 or am I just dyslexic

Whether it’s a permanent or temporary speed limit, you must be travelling at or below the limit before you reach the sign.

You can’t increase your speed until you’ve passed a sign with a higher speed limit. For example, if you’re travelling through a 30km/h zone which then increases to 50km/h, you can’t speed up until you’ve passed the 50km/h sign.

Its 3:15 am... you wake up after hearing the loud clanging of metal and lots of noise coming from the bushes.. You think to yourself f**k surely its just a big possum! You look over the fence into your neighbors yard and just gaze at the 2023 finalists for fast swag assembled while blind drunk and its just Me vs Possums on gear getting stuck in to our work bench assembly

Am i the king amongst wellington s**t posters i got dropped into town by Possums on gear had to pay him with 2x sink pi***ng videos and got teleported home via the McDonald's drive though by Under-Appreciated Toyota Posting who let me on aux even tho i should be banned 11/10 new years

Tryna end the year with 2 working utes so then i can start the year by writing them both off

Ive broken the system its alright to have breakfast beers if you wake up at 5pm 🤝🏻🤝🏻

She asked me how come my stamina in the bedroom was so high ?
(She didn't see me riping my v**e everytime I rolled her into doggy )