CTRL WITH SHARON

Have you ever wondered why emotions feel so tricky sometimes? A huge struggle to open up or you are quick to shut down when things get too intense. It is not that you don’t care you just can’t figure out how to deal with it.
What if I told you this might have everything to do with how you grew up? Think back, were you the kind of kid who had to figure things out on your own? Maybe your parents or caregiver didn’t check in on how you felt, or emotions just weren’t something people talked about in your house. If you cried, you might have heard, “Stop that,” or “You will be fine.” Or worse, emotions were met with anger, silence, or even punishment.

Do you know what that does to a child? It teaches them to bury their feelings, to keep quiet, and to deal with them alone. And here’s the catch: those habits don’t just disappear when you grow up. They follow you, showing up in your relationships, your friendships how you talk to yourself, and even become a pattern in which you now raise your kids.
This is called EMOTIONAL NEGLECT. It is not about being ignored or unloved it is more about your emotions not being acknowledged, validated, or nurtured when you need it most.

How does it show up now?
You find it hard to connect with people on a deeper level because vulnerability feels unsafe. Or you second-guess your feelings, thinking, “Am I overreacting?” or “Do I even have a right to feel this way?” You might avoid emotional situations altogether because you don’t know how to navigate them. Or worse, you lash out because you’ve been bottling it all up.
And it doesn’t just stop with you it can spill over into your relationships, too. Now your partner feels like you are distant, or you find it hard to support someone else emotionally because no one ever taught you how. It is not your fault, BUT IT IS SOMETHING THAT NEEDS ATTENTION.

There is good news here, you don’t have to stay stuck in those patterns. HEALING IS ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE. It starts with recognizing what happened and permitting yourself to truly feel. Let yourself sit with your emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable at first It’s okay to cry, get angry, or even laugh.
I know you might have heard of journaling and l think you should give it a try, write about your day and how you felt, or practise saying, “I feel ___” when talking to someone you trust. Pay attention to the people around you who express their emotions in healthy ways and try to learn from them. And if it feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to reach out for support and YES THERAPY CAN BE A GAME-CHANGER IN UNPACKING ALL OF THIS because it’s a place where you’re truly heard, understood, and supported. That’s the kind of space I create—where you can start healing without judgment, one step at a time.

The truth is, that healing takes time, but every small step matters. And no matter what your past looked like, you deserve to live a life where your emotions feel valid, where you feel connected, and where you know deep down that you matter.
If this feels like it’s speaking to you, just know you are not alone. ❤️

I am conducting a quick survey to understand some common reasons why people might avoid seeking therapy or counseling. Your input will help me gather insights and explore how to make therapy more approachable.

Please vote on the reason that applies most to you: Your input matters!
Feel free to comment with suggestions on what would make you feel more comfortable seeking therapy. Any suggestion you can give me would be helpful.

Thanks

The idea that men aren’t emotional is a TOTAL LIE, IT’S A SCAM, really. This whole idea was cooked up to push patriarchy and keep women down. You know, women were considered "too emotional" to lead or even vote back in the day, while men were out here starting wars over emotional reactions. Think about it: men get angry, men fight, men even hurt others out of rage or to feel in control.

From what I have gathered talking to guys, a lot of the time, men just don’t show emotion because they feel like they have to handle it alone. It’s like society tells them they can’t show weakness. If they do, society rejects them. And, sometimes, women end up cheating because they see them as weak when they show emotion. It’s crazy, but that’s the fear. So, men bottle it up. No one wants to hear it, they feel like no one really cares.

There is stuff men would love to share with their partners, but they hold back. Why? Because, in the past, they have been shut down or had those emotions used against them. It’s a cycle of fear, Fear of being hurt, of being vulnerable. That whole “alpha male” thing It’s like men are trained to always be tough and leave the emotional stuff to women.

But here’s the kicker: men are actually more emotional than women. Don’t believe me? Look at how guys act at sports games, in politics, or when politicians argue. How often do you see women throwing punches at bars or starting fights over a game? Have you ever seen a women’s sports team start a full-on brawl? Nope. Guys get worked up, and it shows. They are emotional, but society only seems to count emotions like crying. Emotions aren’t just tears they’re happiness, joy, anger, frustration, and all that stuff in between.

The thing is, anger and violence get more respect than other emotions for men. If a guy keeps his cool and doesn’t show much emotion, people think he is tough. That whole "don’t get too sad or too happy" vibe is seen as strong. But honestly, that’s no way to live. Pushing down all your emotions just makes things worse later on. It comes out in some other, usually destructive, way.

A real man isn’t afraid to show his feelings to the people he loves and trusts. He is not hiding his emotions or pretending they don’t exist. And just because he might not cry, it doesn’t mean his heart is not bleeding or hurting. In fact, that inner pain is often a lot worse than shedding a few tears.

Toxic masculinity really messed things up. It taught men to stuff down sadness and vulnerability and only show things like anger or jealousy. But that’s not real strength. Real strength is being true to yourself, your emotions, and all