Football Yarns

My people na different kind of shege people dey see for this World Cup as we don dey hear now say some American bandits and oloriburuku don go steal England training equipment and kits from the bus wey dey carry am go their camp. According to the tory, England players still dey road but dem send their training equipment ahead inside bus. But by the time the bus reach there, dem discover say different training equipment don dey loss. Their balls and bib don disappear, Saka, Harry Kane and Bellingham boot don loss, Jordan Pickford gloves dey miss, cones wey dem go take dey run around, even the whistle and koboko wey Tuchel suppose take dey chase some stubborn players like Madueke and Rashford upandan like Coach Gbenga for Ikorodu, all of dem don loss. Na diswan make people begin wonder whether no be players like Cole Palmer and Maguire wey no make the World Cup squad naim wan revenge by arranging for this tiff-tiff wey shele so, after all Maguire sef kuku dey America right now so what are we not saying?

My people how una see this kind wahala wey dey wait England even before dem reach camp so?

Czech Republic score their first World Cup goal in 20 years only to squander am and allow South Korea come from behind beat dem 2-1 for their World Cup opener wey shele for midnight. My prayer for you na make the spirit of squander remain far from you and your success both now and always.

Una good morning my people

Uefa don announce say this Somalia referee Omar Artan naim go officiate the Super Cup match between PSG vs Aston Villa for Salzburg. Una remember say USA deny the man visa say e be like him get connection with some terrorist group like Al-Shabab. But as e be now, Uefa don decide to compensate am make e for no loss.

My people how una see this UEFA gesture so?

The government of New York don name one street Thierry Henry Way in honour of Arsenal legend Thierry Henry. Henry also play for New York Red Bulls and we don dey hear now say the purpose of this street wey dem name after the football legend na to honour am for him contribution to the city of New York and football in general. Although dem go later change the name back by October, make Henry enjoy the 5 months honour wey dem nak am for New York so.

My people make una join me congratulate the living legend.

We don dey hear now say America don deny visa to this referee from Somalia, Omar Artan wey FIFA don select to officiate the World Cup. According to America, that referee be like somebody wey get connection with Al-Shabab and other janjaweed for the area. Na diswan don make FIFA dey wonder say, as how na? Ref wey we dey carry go officiate match all over the world, e reach America turn dem deny am visa? Even after FIFA hustle Kenyan diplomatic visa for the referee, America still no allow am enter. Diswan no different from many fans around the world wey dey complain say America deny dem visa to come watch the biggest football competition in the world. According to dem, e be like say America want make only their people watch the World Cup even though their people no like football like that. But America no send anybody papa as dem don dey tell dem say, una go cry taya but una see this our country wey dey flow with milk and honey, na only for TV una go dey go dey hear about am, una no go enter.

My people how una see this kind shakara wey USA dey do with their visa so?

Liverpool legend, Divock Origi don retire from football with immediate alacrity. Nobody know exactly why Origi wey dey just 31 years old decide to quit football but the guy help Liverpool win Premier League for 2020 as well as the 2019 UCL wey him score the winning goal for the semi final against Barcelona and the final against Tottenham. Since leaving Liverpool him return to him first club wey be Lille before joining AC Milan. Him last club Nottingham na Nottingham Forest and we never hear from am since then.

My people make una join me congratulate this guy

After Christian Eriksen collapse again last night during Denmark friendly with Ukraine, the Denmark team doctor wey save him life the first time 5 years ago don come outside dey shalaye say the pacemaker wey dem install near him heart after the first time wey him collapse activate immediately the heart attack happen and na wetin help am regain consciousness faster this time which means the thing do him job. The doctor say na Eriksen use him own two legs get up like Undertaker and waka comot from pitch. Dem go later analyse the pacemaker to know exactly wetin cause the cardiac arrest this time. But many fans don dey worry say dem no like to dey see wetin dem see last night and maybe time don reach for Eriksen to finally retire, after all at 34 years of age, him don try.

My people na wetin you think about this Eriksen matter?

Lamine Yamal don chook finger for ground, lick am take swear say if Spain win this World Cup him go join beard gang train all him beards for 3 weeks until e become like Bin Laden own. Yamal no see giveaway wey him for do or even charity, na to grow him beards until e full everywhere. My people how una see this kind vow wey Yamal make so?

We don dey hear now say America don finally agree to allow Iran players enter USA but when visa finally come out, we see am say na only the 23 players and their coachie naim dem give visa. All their other officials like their FA chairman, him secretary and treasurer, their technical analysts, dietician, even the players wife and side chicks, and especially their fans club, dem no allow anybody else enter the country. According to America: Iran dey plan to use this World Cup take import some Boko Haram and bandits enter USA come cause problem in the name of officials, analysts and even side chick. So to stop the kind nonsense wey dey happen for Nigeria before e even begin happen, dem no go allow any Iran terrorists enter their country in the name of World Cup. Therefore anybody from Iran wey no get any business on top pitch, no visa for am.

My people how una see this kind shege wey America wan show Iran from Hormuz to World Cup so?