24/03/2025
What The Anti TInubu Coalition Taught Me About Friendship.
When I saw the high table at the anti-Tinubu coalition, the first thing that struck me was that EVERYONE on that podium had benefited from TInubu. That realisation made me realise that the line delineating friend from foe is as thin as or even thinner than the one demarcating love and hate.
Friendship and enmity are fluid. Even in heaven. The power demons have now was acquired when they were angels. What some enemies use to fight you is what you told them when they were your friends. So be careful about who you call your friend. In fact, take some time to audit your life to know who your friends really are by doing a friend inventory.
Many people do not understand what a friend is. They mistake people they know for their friends. This lack of clarity on the definition of the word friend has led to so many broken hearts because people expect the duties of a friend from people who are not their friends. When the inevitable disappointment comes, many people end up broken.
A friend is someone who knows you for what you truly are, not for what you project that you are, and irrespective of this, they love you. A friend is someone who is for you because of who you are. A friend has unconditional love for you. A friend is a confidante. A friend is just short of a soulmate.
An acquaintance, on the other hand, is someone you know casually. An acquaintance is not your friend even though they may be very polite and friendly to you.
A neighbour is someone who lives close to you. A neighbour often has to be nice, friendly, and polite to you because it can be rather a drag living close to someone with whom you have bad relations. A neighbour is not your friend.
A colleague is someone that you work with professionally or non-professionally. So, a co-worker is a colleague, and if you are a medical doctor, another medical doctor who may or may not work directly with you is also a colleague. Co-workers are not your friends. They are forced to inhabit the same environment as you because they need to make money. They are not there because they need or like to meet you. A co-worker will likely be a rival for more of the limited money and status circulating in the office. For the boss’s attention.
A classmate or schoolmate is someone you went to school with. You know them. Some of them could be your friends. But they are not automatically your friends because they went to school with you, and it is not fair to expect them to carry the duties of a friend.
There will be those with whom you have a common enemy. Very few things bring people together, like having a common enemy. The fact that you are close because of a common foe does not mean you are friends. Misery loves company. You are bound together by hatred. Once that enemy is removed as an obstacle or makes peace with one of the parties, the relationship will cease to exist in the form that brought you close. At best, you are comrades.
An example is the current so-called coalition against President Tinubu. They said with their own mouths on live TV that they were uniting to seize power from President Tinubu. They do not like each other. They are not friends. The only thing uniting them is their shared hatred for the President.
You may have common interests with other people. It may be shared interests in a political party, religion, pop star, athlete, athletic club, or hobby. You may even go to conventions together. However, as long as unconditional love for each other is not the glue that holds that relationship together, you are not friends.
Your friend is anyone who is unconditionally for you. The mistake many people make is thinking that those with whom they share common interests are their friends. No! They are your allies. Such friendships last only as long as the common interest exists.
When you understand these distinctions, your life becomes more predictable, disciplined, and productive.
Anyi Say Something
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