Ann Yeong

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Candid, bold & reflective conversation on becoming more fully alive and deeply human as a maturing Catholic Christian | Interior Integration, Emotional Healing, Contemplative Spirituality

When I left my secular career path to go into full-time ecclesial pastoral ministry, I thought that was a huge conversio...
06/09/2026

When I left my secular career path to go into full-time ecclesial pastoral ministry, I thought that was a huge conversion and “dropping my nets to follow Jesus” decision, and it indeed was. But it was also not the conversion I thought it was.

In this instalment of my Being Catholic After Deconstruction series I share about how my time in full-time parish ministry revealed to me that I was still the same person from before.

On hindsight, this season of my life was meant to break me open to realise that even when I was at what I felt was the zenith of my relationship with God, I had no idea who I was or how to be myself.

Full-time ministry exposed to me how fragmented and broken I was underneath my gifts and abilities. And this season in my life showed me how deathly afraid I was of vulnerability and how unsafe I felt where I thought I should be at home.

Read the full sharing on my newsletter and subscribe to receive future posts in your inbox! (Link in bio)

There was a time in my life when the energy I exuded from my Catholic faith was certainty and confidence about being RIG...
16/08/2026

There was a time in my life when the energy I exuded from my Catholic faith was certainty and confidence about being RIGHT rather than curiosity, humility, tenderness, mercy or compassion.

In Part 6 of my Being Catholic After Deconstruction series, I share how I was drawn into Catholic apologetics for a big part of my young adulthood and how that both formed me and began to set me up for my eventual deconstruction.

As someone who believes that the interior life develops in stages, I am grateful for that season of my life even though it was full of emotional immaturity and insecurity.

This was the season I first fell in love with the Catholic faith and Church. But what I loved was more of my own (and others’) projections and ideas about what the Catholic Church needed to be rather than what the Church really was/is.

Mature love requires an integrated lover. I think I am only now beginning to be ready to learn what that means for my relationship with the Catholic Church and Catholic faith.

If you resonate with these excerpts, I invite you to read the full post in my newsletter. (Link in bio)

07/08/2026

Henry and I will be traveling together again, the first time since Feb 2020 when we went to Jakarta for my grandmother’s wake and funeral.

Immediately after that trip the world shut down for Covid, and then when travels resumed again, Miko was fully blind and could not be safely cared for by the friends who used to help us take care of her when we went away (due to rambunctious young children).

The only time I have travelled since then was to Brisbane Australia for a week long silent retreat, and that had required Henry to work from home that week as much as possible so that he could look after Miko. (They were both so relieved when I came back 😂😂😂.)

We celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary earlier this week, and had initially thought of doing a pet-friendly local staycation this weekend. Then, after Miko passed away, we decided to do a short trip nearby instead to be near this sight and sound (see reel).

Maybe because it has been so long since we flew out together, and this is only possible again because Miko isn’t here anymore, this trip feels highly significant to me. I feel the prompt to treat it like a special healing and dreaming for our second half of life retreat.

So I’ll be away from IG until the later part of next week. Wishing my Singaporean friends a Happy 61st National Day long weekend! 🇸🇬

Yesterday, a dear friend told me, “You are a live wire. There is no mediocrity with you. There is no room for inauthenti...
10/05/2026

Yesterday, a dear friend told me, “You are a live wire. There is no mediocrity with you. There is no room for inauthenticity.”

Her words pierced me because they described my true self so accurately, and yet I grew up rejecting this truth about myself because it seemed to make so many people uncomfortable when they drew closer to me.

This trait that so defines me made me feel unloveable. Unknowable. It was a huge part of why I felt so alone as a child, a youth, and a young adult.

But yesterday when I read these words, I felt something different. I felt a deep recognition and acknowledgment. I felt my inner child perk up and say “Hey yes, that’s me!” She was now no longer ashamed of this trait. She beamed at me.

Then this morning, the same friend made me cry in the midst of my morning stroll with this Mother’s Day greeting (i.e. the post above).

God is reminding me through it - “Ann, you’re home. You’re finally able to see yourself the way I see you and be at peace with what you see. You’re finally able to experience the unique beauty I have bestowed on you and receive it as beauty.”

Even now as I type these words I’m crying. It’s been 17.5 years since I prayed and asked God to help me see myself as He sees me because I had realised that I did not know how to love myself.

It’s taken 17.5 years to be able to truly receive the ability to behold myself, see myself, and be happy with what I used to reject about myself.

Happy Mother’s Day to me as the mother of my inner child!

Thank you for your insight, your words, and above all, your friendship and presence in my life!

05/05/2026

I’ve long learned that I’m meant to lean into seasons of pause even when they come upon me unexpectedly.

Genuine fruitfulness never comes at the expense of over-riding my body’s “no” but in trusting the rhythms and cycles God put in place and which my body is often more discerning of than my intellect.��Listen to EP 169 | An Unexpected Break: Podcast and Personal Update (Link in bio)

I’ve been quiet on my podcast and YouTube channel for the past month without an announced break. In this video / episode...
05/05/2026

I’ve been quiet on my podcast and YouTube channel for the past month without an announced break. In this video / episode I share with you the reason for my silence as well as an update about what’s happening in the podcast.

Listen to EP 169 | An Unexpected Break: Podcast and Personal Update (Link in bio)

I used to believe that I was being prideful if I trusted my own judgment when it did not align with the judgment of some...
27/04/2026

I used to believe that I was being prideful if I trusted my own judgment when it did not align with the judgment of someone with greater authority than me.

I used to operate from the paradigm that the Church must be right, and if I could not bring myself to heartily agree or obey, that the problem must be me because surely the Church and those who taught and led with her authority would know better than me. To think otherwise would be pride.

Now I can see clearly that beliefs and attitudes such as this serve to bolster the power of institutions, enable abuse and the cover up of abuse, and prevent the authentic, integrated, spiritual and human formation of God’s people.

Unfortunately, it is often those who most desire to seek and follow Christ that fall victim to high-control and abusive religious systems. Those who also already suffer from other forms of trauma in their lives are particularly susceptible to become unknowing victims of such systems.

There is great need for Catholics to learn more about trauma, spiritual abuse and high-control religion in order to safeguard the dignity of persons. We can begin by learning to safeguard ourselves.

For all whom Easter is uncomplicated joy, He is Risen, Alleluia! Wishing you a beautiful and blessed Easter! And for tho...
05/04/2026

For all whom Easter is uncomplicated joy, He is Risen, Alleluia! Wishing you a beautiful and blessed Easter!

And for those who feel conflicting and complicated emotions about Easter because of spiritual and religious trauma, I’ve written a new reflection on Easter Hope for the Spiritually Traumatised.

(The full post has a lot more, including linked resources)

Praying with and for all,
Ann

Read the full newsletter post on my website (Link in bio)

https://www.integroformation.com/newsletters/begin-again/posts/easter-hope-for-the-spiritually-traumatised

I wrote this for Easter 2024 and I am re-sharing a slightly edited version of it now in my newsletter. There is a new pa...
04/04/2026

I wrote this for Easter 2024 and I am re-sharing a slightly edited version of it now in my newsletter. There is a new paragraph I added about survivors of religious and spiritual trauma because it was only in the last two years that I understood a great deal more about the embodied aspect of trauma and the nature of spiritual trauma.

If this reflection resonates with you, I hope you will share it with others! And I do hope that it equips you to love those who are keeping their distance from church a little better! 🙏🏻

Peace,
Ann

Read in full and subscribe to my newsletter on my website (Link in bio)

These are excerpts from a reflection I wrote for my blog three years ago during Holy Week. Do I still feel numb on Good ...
03/04/2026

These are excerpts from a reflection I wrote for my blog three years ago during Holy Week. Do I still feel numb on Good Friday? Yes - the dissociation still happens, even when I don’t attend Good Friday service (it is much worse when I do).

Since I wrote this two years ago I have also learned more about spiritual and religious trauma as well as spiritual abuse. These have helped me to have an even clearer understanding of why I dissociate and also feel heightened anxiety during Holy Week. Healing is still happening, and I have learned to trust the process as well as the body God has given me to guide me.

Read the full reflection in my newsletter, Begin Again, on Good Friday 2026. (Link in bio)

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