22/07/2021
TW: child abuse, violence
The cognitive dissonance we must experience when we believe that violence is harmful…except when it’s done against children. The mental gymnastics we must do in order to justify hitting a child for their own good.
I was that parent. When my children were born, I did not look into their precious faces and immediately decide that I would never lift my hand to hurt them. No, I honestly believed that it was my responsibility to do whatever I had to ensure that they turned out “right.”
I thought that spanking my children was my God-given duty as a parent, but the only way I could hold that belief was to dehumanize and demean them. I had to ignore their pleas, cries, and tears. I had to punish, control, and shame. It’s gut-wrenching for me to think back on all the things that I did in the name of “discipline.”
Thankfully, that’s not the end of the story.
I changed my mind.
I started untigering—healing from my own childhood dehumanization, repairing my relationship with my kids, and learning new ways to practice peace instead of dominance.
If you are caught in the false belief that you must use violence in order to teach children, today can be the day you change your mind.
Read more of my journey in my book “Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent” and find support in my Untigering Parents FB group! Links in bio.
Image: Flourishing Homes & Families