Bonnie Cannon Coaching

The world is bananas right now, and it feels like there's very little I can do.
One thing I realized I *can* do is offer some discounts on my coaching services for the next [indeterminate time period].
If you need a calm space right now, some tools to help your nervous system and your mind, and/or someone to help you set or achieve goals/make plans in an uncertain time, let's talk.
And to be completely transparent, it will help me out too, because I'm still figuring out this building a business by myself and marketing thing and my income is not where it needs to be right now.
You can jump right in with booking a call, or schedule a free consultation call to get started.
https://calendly.com/bonniebodymind

Mistakes don't mean you deserve to suffer.

Here's something honest:
For a while I was too focused on myself, and not enough on the people I'm trying to serve.

Some of that was due to my own healing process and needing to step back and focus on me, but most of it was self-doubt and a growing lack of belief in my own capability, especially as a coach.
That peaked last summer and I feel like I'm just now getting to a place where I feel like myself again.
Realizing my negative thoughts about myself were neither true nor helpful has been a process and I am continuing to work on it.

This was an additional reminder to me that negative beliefs don't drive positive action. Beating yourself up doesn't make you want to grow.
They didn't help me market my business or be a better coach.
And "beating yourself up" can be very sneaky and just feel like true things about you.
A lesson I keep learning.

I took a picture of the moment I solved it. 😄 I felt proud and excited!

What does it feel like for you when you solve something in your life?

Can you create more of that feeling for yourself today?

Do you believe you're awesome?

If you're like a lot of people, you probably cringed just thinking about believing something like that about yourself.

You probably learned (explicitly or implicitly) that it's self-centered/narcissistic to believe or (*gasp*) say out loud that you're amazing.
Or you just think it couldn't be true that you're awesome because you have lots of evidence of all your flaws and mistakes.

I heard someone say recently that a lot of people believe they're very self-aware, because they can list all their faults/shortcomings/"toxic traits". But if you can't see and list all the things that are good and incredible about yourself in addition to the places you could stand to work on, then you're not self-aware, you're just self-critical.

And the more critical you are of yourself, the more time you're spending thinking about yourself.
i.e. the more time you spend in judgment or self-loathing, the more self-centered you actually are.
And the more likely to filter what everyone else says through that negative self-perception, believing that they must think those things about you too.

So you are projecting, getting defensive, and making things about you, instead of being able to really be present with other people.
And therefore reinforcing that negative self-belief.

When you think you're awesome, you don't actually spend that much time thinking about yourself. You can be IN your life, instead of thinking ABOUT your life. You're not constantly reprimanding yourself or numbing out with your activity of choice to avoid your self-critical thoughts.

And you don't have to be perfect to think you're amazing. Just imagine someone you know and love who you think is incredible, who you know isn't perfect. If they don't have to be perfect to be amazing and loveable, neither do you.

And maybe "awesome" is a step too far right now, if you're deep in self-judgment.
Getting to neutral is a big step.
You're just a human, who makes mistakes like ALL humans. Maybe you can start with a belief like that. Think that thought as often as you can.

And then maybe you can list the small ways that you *are* awesome - the things you're good at, the things you like about yourself, nice things your friends have said about you, how you've helped others throughout your life.

Our brain has a negativity bias and it thinks it's really important to show you the bad stuff because it thinks it will motivate you to change and therefore somehow keep you safe.
But negative emotion is not a good long-term fuel source. If it worked well, wouldn't you be "better" by now?
And what if you've gotten to this point in your life not *because* of self-criticism, but *in spite* of it?

What could you create in your life if you believed you were awesome?

If you want help working on this, send me a message or book a free call with me here:
https://calendly.com/bonniebodymind

And I'm running a special through New Year's! Book a coaching call by January 1 for the discounted rate.

Coaching offer update:
I am not fully recovered from the Open yet, but I've been thinking a lot about my coaching business and wanting to experiment and refine my approach.

So I'm doing a special starting now through January 1, experimenting with my process and with different lengths of calls, at a discounted rate!

I'm currently open to coaching on anything you might be struggling with. I've used these tools for everything from how to stop procrastinating on work, to processing a divorce, to being confident planning and teaching workshops solo, and so many things in between. Nothing is too big or too small or too taboo. Let's see if we can work through it together.

If you're a current client of mine with a subscription, check your email for a special offer for you!

Book your calls here:
https://calendly.com/bonniebodymind

Or click the link in my bio and go to the Coaching page on my website.

Good reminders.

Something I thought of this week: The way to stretch your capacity is to stay within it (at first).

Why?
1. If you just try to push through, you're sending signals to your body that you don't care or can't hear what it's trying to tell you. (Your brain is included in your body FYI.)
This can result in your body yelling louder, or shutting down sooner as a self-preservation mechanism.
2. When you push through, it can erode self-trust.
3. When you ignore what your body's telling you, you don't get to know the underlying 'why' and therefore don't learn the best way to move forward.

Instead:
1. Slow down, listen, stay curious.
2. Find the edges of your current capacity (where you feel the first small twinge or sign of resistance) and see what it's like to stay within that range for now.
3. Notice what happens as you continue to explore those edges. You may find you can go a little farther each time.
4. Ask yourself what you would need in order to go just a little further? Maybe it's actually taking a break and resting, and trying again later.
5. Gently question recurring patterns. Is it true you can't go farther? Or is this just an old protective strategy that you can start to let go of?

Small movements add up to big movements.

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