Shedding the Bitch™, Atlanta, GA (2026)

09/30/2026

Discover why the most driven leaders drift off course for years, and the seven-minute daily habit that puts you back in control.

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer, PhD in social psychology, 30-year corporate HR executive, and USA Today bestselling co-author of Now, Near, Next, studied drift across individuals, teams, and entire organizations. Her finding: human systems drift whenever we stop being intentional, and no one is immune to it.

In this conversation you'll learn:
� how to read the signals your body sends first, the five areas of life where drift hides
� the three patterns that keep smart leaders off course
� a seven-minute daily practice that adds up to 2,555 minutes a year of choosing your direction.

We also get into why organizations drift, why people belong on the investment side of the ledger, and what AI means for betting on human potential.

Learn more about Cynthia at https://dr-cynthia.com

CHAPTERS
- 00:00 Introduction & Welcome
- 02:04 The Origin of Drift
- 03:37 What Drift Looks & Feels Like
- 06:15 The Five Dimensions of Human Flourishing
- 11:34 Making Drift Accessible Beyond "Woo-Woo"
- 14:13 The Seven-Minute Pivot
- 18:13 The Three Patterns of Drift
- 20:07 Organizational Drift & Human Capital
- 23:18 AI & the Future of Human Potential
- 30:10 The Discipline of Direction

Grab her Free drift diagnostics + the Seven-Minute Pivot: https://dr-cynthia.com
And follow her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drcynthiabentzenmercer/

WATCH NEXT
From Stuck to Leading, Ep. 1 of a 5 Part Series: https://studio.youtube.com/video/KL0lAmACzbk/edit
Breathwork episode (E9.8): https://youtu.be/0saBf5J1tD8

09/28/2026

When I left corporate, labeled a tyrant boss, I was petrified to look at myself in the mirror, let alone, work on transforming who I had been for decades.

As hard as I imagined it would be, I knew that I had to if I wanted to achieve my ultimate goals.

Now it’s your turn.

If you're comfortable doing the same old thing, day after day, executing and not truly leading, avoiding self-reflection, you're not growing.

Many of the executives I have talked with, know emphatically that growth lives on the other side of discomfort. Then, they’ll give me every excuse as to why they can’t take risks, try new things, or open up about their own gaps and weaknesses.

As a leader, your job is to push past the safety of "what's always worked" or “all is good, why stir things up” and put yourself in situations that stretch your capacity and potential.

So ask yourself:
Are you coachable?

Can you say you own, are curious, and committed to getting uncomfortable, looking at your gaps, and working toward transforming how you have been showing up?

Keep in mind, your people are watching you for how they should show up and perform. So, be careful to not show them what you don’t want them performing.

Instead, get comfortable being uncomfortable and the doors that will open up to you will shock you.

09/25/2026

When I first started coaching in 2008, I found myself refunding a couple of coaching clients their investment, because 1) I lacked a framework for assessing one’s readiness, and 2) Not all money is good money and certainly not worth the struggle a client who isn’t ready for coaching will put both of us through.

One of those clients was a physician with their own medical practice. The doctor wanted me to start with her then support the other physicians in her office.
I was thrilled.

My client was smart, accomplished, and everything looked right on paper.

She came to our first session and had all the language of someone coachable by asking me hard questions, acknowledging her gaps, and telling me she was committed to change.

But the second, third, and fourth session – she stood me up or rescheduled, failed to do the work she committed to, and deflected feedback onto her people versus owning it.

It didn’t matter how deep I dug into working to understand what was going on or why she wasn’t doing the work, she had an excuse or defense for it.

We ended the engagement, and I chose to refund a portion of the contract that was only 20% fulfilled.

Here's what I learned from that:
- Not all money is good money.
- Sending someone into coaching who isn't ready doesn't just waste budget, it sets them up to fail.
- A framework was needed to assess the ownership, curiosity, and commitment of a potential client from the start.

The executives I've coached since then, and who transformed, weren't the most self-aware, rejection-proof, or tough skinned, to hear hard feedback, get uncomfortable, and potentially do things that fail.

They had one thing in common: they were genuinely ready to own their part, were curious about why and where their gaps are, and committed to change even when it was uncomfortable.

If you're an HR leader or hiring manager about to invest in a coaching program, pause first. Assess the readiness of your team member. Not their willingness, but their readiness. There's a difference.

Because the investment works best when you put it with people who are actually prepared to use it.

Stop sending people who aren't ready. Put that investment in those that are. Your budget will thank you, your people will thank you, and honestly, so will your coaches.

If you want to know how to assess that readiness, our new episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch breaks down exactly what real coachability looks like, and the red flags that tell you someone's not there yet.

You’ll even learn how to gain access to a Coachability Self-Assessment you can use for yourself or team members to safeguard any investment you make.
https://balloffirecoaching.com/podcast

09/24/2026

Over the years, HR leaders and managers have told me that they’ve focused on the wrong question when it comes to offering up coaching for their people.

How did they know?

Eventually, the coach(s) reported to them that the client wasn’t engaged, and the client was reporting they weren’t gaining value from the partnership.

Here’s what happened. They would ask a leader, ‘Do you want coaching?’ instead of 'Are you ready for coaching?' And those two questions will get you very different responses and ultimately results.

Of course, when asked the former question, most of the time the executive says yes, they want to grow, level up, and get promoted. Sounds good, right?

Well, then the manager or HR leader invests in coaching, executive training, development programs for them, and the coaching doesn't work.

Why? Because the person wasn’t ready.

How can you know that at the start? There’s one critical step a coach and even the sponsoring company executive needs to work through: determining the readiness for coaching which requires three things to ensure the investment is going to pay off for the employee, team, and business:

1. Ownership (I own this problem)
2. Curiosity (I want to understand why I do this)
3. Commitment (I'll change even when it's uncomfortable).

If someone is missing even one of those pillars, the coaching investment will ultimately fall apart

In this episode, I'm sharing the framework I use with every executive and hiring manager to determine the readiness of the client before they spend another dollar on programs that won’t work.

You can even get access to a Coachability Self-Assessment that you can use or use with others to ensure the investment you want to make will pay off.
Take a watch and determine how you can use this framework to make the right investment for the right person at the right time.

09/21/2026

Has this happened to you: You walk out of the meeting knowing you just made yourself smaller. Not because you didn't know the answer. You did.

Not because you weren't qualified. You absolutely were.

But somewhere between the tough question, the senior executive's stare, and that little voice in your head saying don't screw this up... you hesitated, you over-explained, you softened your position.

Maybe you even walked out thinking: "Why the hell did I do that?"

I've seen this happen with incredibly capable leaders, and I've experienced it myself.

You can have 20+ years of experience, a track record that speaks for itself, and more knowledge than most people in the room...and still find yourself shrinking when the pressure hits.

Then you make the mistake of blaming your credibility.
"Maybe they don't see me as executive material."
"Maybe I'm not commanding enough."
"Maybe I've lost my edge."

But what if that's not what's happening?
What if your credibility isn't broken?
What if your nervous system is simply reacting to the pressure?

When your brain perceives a threat, whether it's real danger or something as seemingly simple as being challenged, judged, rejected, or embarrassed, you don't always respond with your best leadership thinking.

Instead, you protect yourself, you freeze, fawn, get defensive, retreat and even overperform.
And then you beat yourself up afterward for not being the leader you know you can be.

Here's what I want you to understand: That reaction doesn't mean you're incapable. It means your system has decided, "Something about this moment doesn't feel safe." And that's something you can absolutely work with, IF you take the time to acknowledge it.

The next time you feel yourself going into that spiral:
1️⃣ PAUSE. Don't immediately answer, defend, explain or retreat. Simply take a breath.
2️⃣ NAME IT. What are you actually feeling? Pressure? Fear? Embarrassment? The need to prove yourself? By naming it you are softening it’s impact.
3️⃣ ASK THE BETTER QUESTION. "What am I protecting myself from right now?"
4️⃣ GET BACK INTO YOUR BODY. Take another deep breath, slow your speech, put both feet on the floor, and look around the room. Get out of your head and back into the present moment.
5️⃣ CHOOSE YOUR RESPONSE. Don't let your protection response make the leadership decision for you, because executive presence isn't about never being nervous.

Leadership isn't about always feeling confident, and credibility isn't about performing confidence perfectly.

It's about being able to stay present when the pressure hits and choose how you want to show up anyway.

So before you run off and work to fix your executive presence, or decide you're losing credibility, and before you spend another dollar on another leadership assessment telling you what you already know... ask yourself:

Is my credibility actually the problem or is my nervous system running the meeting?

Because those are two very different problems, and one of them is a hell of a lot more workable than you think.

What do you do to quiet your nerves? ⬇️

09/18/2026

You can't pour from an empty cup. You've heard it a thousand times. But here's what most leaders actually hear: "Work harder and faster so you can give more."

That's backwards.

I was talking to this week, and she said something that landed: "In order to be one hundred percent with your clients, you need to be a hundred percent for yourself."

Not 80% for yourself, 20% for others. Not "give when you have energy left over." One hundred percent.

Like the airlines always tell you, ‘put the mask on yourself first before helping others’.

Here's why this matters in leadership: your nervous system is always communicating. If you're running on fumes, pushing through fatigue, ignoring stress signals, sacrificing rest…your clients, your team, your people feel it.

They don't trust someone who's barely holding it together. They trust someone who's grounded, present, and clear.

The leaders I work with who deliver the most value aren't the ones grinding the hardest. They're the ones who've given themselves permission to rest, to reset their nervous system, to show up fully resourced.

That means:
- Rest isn't lazy. Rest is how you deliver more.
- Your presence is your most valuable resource, so you need to protect it.
- A 60-second breathing practice or a mantra you repeat to yourself before a client call changes how you show up.
- Boundaries aren't selfish. They're how you stay 100% available when it matters.

The irony: when you stop trying to be everything to everyone and start being fully yourself first, your impact multiplies.

If you're running on 60% (or less), your clients and team are getting 60%. That's not generosity or even productivity. That's just scarcity dressed up as dedication.

Listen to the full conversation with Brett (link in comments) to hear exactly how she rebuilt her presence and authority after burnout, and how she's now teaching other leaders to do the same.

What would change if you gave yourself permission to be 100% for yourself? ⬇️

09/17/2026

Once, following a very challenging conversation with a service provider, I hung up the phone and couldn’t think right or get my bearings. My blood was boiling and brain just frozen.

You can't think clearly when your nervous system is still processing a threat from an hour ago.

Here's what most leaders get wrong about emotions: they treat feelings like a problem to solve through willpower or "mindset." But emotions are just your nervous system's way of signaling that something needs attention. The problem isn't the emotion. It's that your body never got the "all clear" signal that the threat passed.

So you stay reactive.

I talked to Brett Aldrich of about this, and she shared a practice I've been using all week: the 4-4-4 breathing method. It's not meditation. It's not woo. It's a way to tell your nervous system that the threat is over and it's safe to come back to neutral.

The practice takes 3–5 minutes. You go between steady inhales, exhales, and pauses. Sounds simple because it is. But that simplicity is exactly why it works.

As you can view, I did it during the interview. As well, I used it before a difficult conversation a few days ago. Instead of approaching the discussion activated (ready to defend, ready to react), I walked in clear, calm, and present.

That's what regulating your nervous system actually does. It gives you back your executive function.

Listen to the full conversation with Brett to learn all three practices and when to use each one. https://pod.link/shedthecorporatebitch

Which emotion do you find hardest to regulate in leadership? Comment below.

09/15/2026

Are you holding your breath right now? Have you been doing it all day?

If so, it's probably due to the fact that your nervous system is still in panic mode from this morning's crisis or the pile of emails, text messages, and work covering up your phone and desk.

The impact of that panic is you're thinking gets foggy, decisions that should take five minutes take thirty, and the authority people used to see in you starts to disappear.

Here's what most leaders get wrong: this isn't a confidence problem, it's not a mindset issue. It's your nervous system still stuck in reaction mode.

In this conversation with , founder of Seed the Spirit and former corporate advocate, she breaks down exactly why this happens and how to fix it.

She discovered three simple breathing practices that executives are quietly using to reset their nervous system in under 60 seconds, and she walks us through each one live so we can start using it to reset even in the most chaotic of times.

She shows us :
1. 4-4-4 breathing that you can do at your desk between meetings, nobody notices, your clarity comes back instantly.
2. Dual nostril breathing — the practice that brings your whole system to neutral so you can actually think clearly instead of react.
3. Circular breathing — how to process a nonstop day without carrying activation into your evening.

Here's the part that landed for me: you don't have to overhaul your entire life to feel better. You don't have to meditate for an hour or go to a retreat.

You can pick one practice, one time today for sixty seconds and see your whole day shift: your presence comes back, your decision-making clears, and people stop questioning if you've got it handled.

Brett says it perfectly: "You cannot show up 100% for your clients if you're not showing up 100% for yourself."

Listen to the full episode and pick ONE practice to try this week. See how it shifts your clarity and authority.

Then let us know which breathing practice resonates most with you. Comment below.

09/11/2026

You just hired a coach. Your team is banking on it.

Six months in, the engagement has stalled and your high-potential is frustrated. Your organization wonders why coaching didn't create the shift you needed.
Here's what happened: Most leaders hire coaches badly as they hesitate to ask a single hard question to determine quality and a good fit.

Maybe you took a referral, scheduled one call, and moved forward without understanding what you were actually investing in. And now you've burned six months your high-potential could have spent accelerating, six months your struggling team could have spent shifting, six months of organizational momentum you can't get back.

This is the pattern I see over and over. Organizations know coaching works, the ROI is proven, engagement lifts, retention improves. But when it comes time to actually hire a coach, they throw out the framework entirely.

They lack the in-depth vetting, often times there are few questions, so they lack clarity around what success actually looks like.

The difference between a coaching engagement that transforms your leader and one that wastes your time and investment isn't luck, it's preparation.

It's knowing what to ask. It's understanding what separates a coach who will actually create change from one who will waste your time. It's the intake process most leaders skip. It's defining success upfront. It's the three-way conversation that keeps your organization, the coach, and your employee aligned.

If you're hiring a coach for yourself or for your team, you need a framework, not a gut feeling.

And because the vetting is just as critical for the coach to be sure they can help their client, I know exactly which 15 questions separate great engagements from those that never gain traction.

This week’s episode is now live: how to qualify your next executive coach before you commit your time, resources, and budget.

If this resonates, share it with someone on your HR or leadership team.

Check it out here - https://pod.link/shedthecorporatebitch or on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/

09/10/2026

Have you had a coaching engagement fail? After three months and $15K, you find yourself or a team member back to square one?

I've watched this happen too many times. So I built a framework of ten questions every leader needs to ask a potential coach, and five more questions for an HR or business leader justifying the investment in a coaching program.

It's the same framework I've used proactively when being qualified for coaching the 400+ executives I’ve worked with. It cuts through the noise in minutes.

The framework covers:
- Defining coaching success (Question 1 — this is ✓everything)
- Spotting red flags: yes-people, quick-fix promises, no accountability
- Chemistry + Credentials +✓✓ _Clarity: how they actually matter
- Three-way contracting: keeping org, coach, and client aligned
- Handling the tough conversations: what if the client decides to leave?

If you're promoting high potentials, fixing struggling teams, or building a coaching program, you need this framework.

The episode is live now everywhere you get your podcasts and on our YouTube channel. Link in comments.

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