Wayfinders Executive Coaching

Coaching is a forcing mechanism.

Not because I tell you what to do, but because I help move you past inertia.

A client of mine had refused to use AI for months. They were curious, but busy. Interested, but intimidated. Stalled in the starting gate.

So during a session, we identified a few places where AI could support them, created a few starter prompts, and they agreed to experiment with it for 30 minutes.

Three weeks later, they told me their AI agent is now saving them 4–6 hours of work on every deal. And now they have the capacity to think more strategically about how to further leverage AI in their deal flow.

But here’s the important part:

They did the work. Coaching made the action possible.

It was the forcing function that got them past the starting blocks and into motion.

This is true for so many things in life:
the hard conversation,
the career pivot,
the boundary,
the business idea,
the first step.

So often, what we are avoiding is not actually impossible. It’s just uncomfortable.

And once we begin, we realize the race we were avoiding is one we are fully capable of winning 🏇🥇🏇

Don't shoot the messenger . . . but soooo many attorneys are trauma bonded to stress 😬

I saw a version of this years ago when I was a foster parent.

Children who grow up in chaos will recreate chaos… because it’s what feels normal. It’s what feels safe.

Calm doesn’t register as safety.
It registers as dangerously unfamiliar.

So they unconsciously create the conditions they know how to navigate.

And I see this pattern in the legal profession all the time. Stay with me here...

Lawyers trained in high-stakes, high-pressure environments begin to associate stress with success. Urgency with importance. Exhaustion with value.

So when things slow down…

They don’t feel ease.
They feel anxiety.

They start to spiral:
Am I doing enough?
Am I falling behind?
Is something wrong?

And often, without realizing it, they recreate the very pressure they say they want to escape.

Not because they’re broken.
Because it’s familiar. Because it feels safe.

But here’s the truth:

You can be successful and get your hair done on a Thursday.
You can be effective without working until 11pm.
You can build a thriving career that includes both bet-the-company trials and picking your kids up at 3:30pm.

If you feel unsettled in a moment of calm, it doesn’t mean something is wrong.

It may mean your nervous system is learning a new way of being.

And that takes practice.

So the next time things slow down…

Don’t rush to fill the space.

Stay there.

You might discover that stillness is not the absence of success.

It’s evidence of it.

I’m currently on retreat with my coach, and I just have to say:

🥰 I love who I am becoming 🥰

There is something both mysterious and a little thrilling about the process of coming into yourself. Becoming a person you never quite planned to be… and are genuinely excited to meet.

A woman who knows what she wants and is still figuring out how to get there.
A woman who is fully formed and still unfolding.
A woman who genuinely enjoys her own company and yearns for deeper connection.

About a year ago, I went to see a medium, and I was PI**ED when she told me I was in the middle of my transformation.

I had already been doing the hard work of change for more than three years. I couldn’t believe there was more ahead of me.

But now, I get it. I’m still evolving. And what a gift that is.

In earlier chapters of my life, I was driven. By ambition. By urgency. By the belief that if I just achieved enough, I would finally feel successful. Accomplished. Complete.

But I never did. Because becoming isn’t about adding more. It’s about peeling back.

Unbecoming the versions of myself that were built to perform, to prove, to protect… so I could return to who I actually am.

Soft.
Sturdy.
Sacred.

And yes, some days I miss my old armor. The predictability. The security. The kudos.

But what I’ve gained is quieter and far more powerful.

Autonomy.
Spaciousness.
Alignment.

I’m not working to build a life anymore.

I’m learning to live inside the one I already have.

I’m becoming more myself every day.

And, I hope you are too.

✨ Rejection is redirection ✨

I felt this most deeply in October 2009, when I lost my job with a big mortgage and a toddler in daycare… and the rejections kept coming while my savings dwindled.

Frustration.
Doubt.
Loneliness.
That quiet voice asking, “What’s wrong with me?”

And then, a shift.

What if this isn’t happening to me… but for me?

Rejection has a way of forcing reflection.

In some moments, it showed me I wasn’t on the right path.
In others, it revealed where I needed to grow to get where I truly wanted to go.

And eventually, I landed at Baker Donelson… where I had a meteoric rise to partner.

Every “no” created space for that better “yes.”
Every misstep invited me to look inward and strengthen my definition of success.
Every setback pushed me to evolve.

Now, I encourage my clients to stop asking, “Why is this happening?”
And instead ask, “What is this here to teach me?”

Rejection doesn’t define you.

It refines you.

Train your mind to look for the lesson, not the loss.

Because sometimes the closed door isn’t rejection…

It’s redirection toward the future you’re meant for.

The “women competing with women” trope is so old. And so tired.

And honestly, it doesn’t match my lived experience at all.

My biggest sponsors, advocates, and cheerleaders throughout my career have been women. When women support each other, incredible things happen.

It was my honor, privilege, and genuine joy to celebrate Aiko Bethea’s first book alongside a room full of talented, thoughtful, ambitious women who showed up to listen, learn, support, and celebrate her.

Lifting her higher than she can go alone.

That’s what it’s about.

So let’s retire the scarcity mindset.

Because when a woman like Aiko rises, she doesn’t take a seat.

She builds a whole new table.

PS - If you are interested in doing a one and done book club with me for Anchored, Aligned, Accountable, shoot me a DM. Its message of self-knowledge and self-leadership resonates across every stage of life. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a CEO, someone is looking to you to lead with warmth, integrity, and intention. We'll be reading it over the summer and gathering to discuss it in August. I'd LOVE to be in conversation with you about it 📚✨

Who run the world? Girls.

And increasingly… they run their own companies.

According to Wells Fargo and the WIPP Education Institute, women now own over 40% of U.S. businesses, generating $2.8 trillion in annual revenue and supporting 12.6 million jobs.

Between 2022 and 2025, women started 3 million new businesses.

Let that sink in. Millions of women chose to leave traditional workplaces and bet on themselves.

And here’s the part BigLaw and big business should be paying very close attention to:

62% of new entrepreneurs cited control of their schedule as the number one reason they started a company.

Not status.
Not title.
Not even income.

Control.

Autonomy is no longer a perk. It’s a requirement.

So as organizations navigate this post-DEI world, there’s a hard truth to face:

Women don’t need to stay.

They have options. Real, viable, profitable options.

If you want to retain high-performing women, you cannot dial back flexibility and expect loyalty to fill the gap.

You have to build environments where autonomy, trust, and humanity are not add-ons, but baked into the culture.

Because the question is no longer:
Will women stay?

It’s:
Why would they?

A client said to me recently, “The world needs your wisdom.”

I paused.

It’s deeply affirming to be seen that way. To have clients who value my insight, my partnership, and yes, my wisdom.

I’m confident enough to receive that as true… and humble enough to know that each of us carries a unique wisdom that is a gift to the world.

Mine lives in the relational field and reaches for possibility, potential, and optimization. I have a particular ability to sense what someone truly wants and help them build a path to get there with more joy and ease.

So I’ll ask you:

What wisdom do you have to offer the world?

The failure that reshaped your life.
The bet you took on yourself that forged you like fire.
The perspective you gained through experience.

Someone out there needs it. Needs you. To help them work through a problem you are uniquely equipped to solve.

And that is the magical intersection where work stops feeling like work… and starts to feel like purpose, alignment, and even FUN!

“The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.”
— L. P. Hartley

I’ll never forget the lightning bolt moment when I knew in my bones that I could no longer practice law. What once felt inspiring and challenging, like slipping into a pair of high-heeled Louboutins, suddenly felt like a Hugo Boss suit two sizes too small.

A past version of me wanted security, clarity, and validation.
She measured success in billable hours, awards received, board seats offered, and titles conferred.

But...

What once felt like success began to feel like strain.
What once felt important started to feel meaningless.
What once drove me started to drain me.

And that’s not a problem. It’s evidence of growth. Pay attention to that feeling. It’s your signal that something has shifted.

It may be time to get your passport ready. There are travels ahead that will take you places you never imagined.

You don’t have to live by outdated definitions of a life you’ve already outgrown.

You get to choose again.
And again.
And again.

The one consistent theme across all my clients? They are B 👏 U 👏 S 👏 Y. But busy season is not an invitation to abandon yourself.

When work ramps up, a lot of high achievers default to the same strategy: work longer, sleep less, say yes to everything, and call it dedication.

But that is not sustainable high performance.
That is self-exploitation masked as responsibility.

The real work in a high-volume season is discernment.

➡️ What actually matters now?
➡️ What can wait?
➡️ What can be delegated?
➡️ What needs a simpler process?
➡️ What is no longer a priority?

You do not get through intense seasons by becoming less human.
You get through them by becoming more strategic.

🎯 Prioritize ruthlessly.
🎯 Break large projects into micro-moves.
🎯 Ask for help.
🎯 Protect your sleep.
🎯 Develop systems that ensure consistent, high-quality work product.

Full calendars do not burn people out on their own.
Carrying everything like it matters equally does.

What is one thing you can put down this week?

Spring is arriving in Atlanta.

The days are longer. The trees are budding. And yes, the pollen is beginning its annual takeover. It’s a vivid reminder that hibernation season is over and it’s time to bloom.

But every plant requires different conditions to thrive.

Cacti that flourish in Arizona can’t survive in Atlanta. Hydrangeas that thrive here would struggle in the dry heat of Phoenix. Some flowers need full sun. Others flourish in shade. Orchids demand careful tending, while dandelions grow wild and free with very little nourishment.

Just like plants, we each require specific conditions to thrive.

As this season of renewal unfolds, I invite you to pause and ask yourself:

What conditions do I need to thrive right now?

More rest.
Clearer boundaries.
More rigor.
Greater adaptability.
Deeper connection.

And what small tweaks to your daily routines would make achieving your goals feel more effortless?

Spring is inviting you to blossom, flourish, and allow your fullest self to emerge.

Will you say yes?

“Part of me wants this… but another part of me wants something completely different.” 💔💔💔

I hear this from clients all the time.

They worry it means they are flaky, confused, or having a midlife crisis.

But most of the time, it means they are paying attention. Because every meaningful life transition requires a small betrayal of something that once kept us safe.

Growth often asks us to release loyalties that quietly shaped who we became. Many of us carry invisible vows. They were never spoken aloud, but we live by them anyway.

Mine sounded like this:

✏️ I must be capable…
trusted in a crisis
sacrificing myself for the common good

✏️ I must be productive…
proving my worth through output
never wasting time

✏️ I must treat others the way I want to be treated…
prioritizing other people’s comfort
softening my needs so no one else has to feel them

None of these vows were bad. In fact, they helped me build a beautiful life.

But they did not express the fullness of who I wanted to become. Eventually they stopped working when I ran out of capacity and needed care myself.

So if growth has you feeling torn, don’t assume something is wrong with you.

It may simply be asking a deeper question:

✨ Who or what do you need to be disloyal to in order to create the life you actually want? ✨