10/17/2026
In this season, Iām learning to trust my gut instead of question it. Despite all of the healing work Iāve been doing since 2017, my hometown is still a MAJOR trigger for me.
This is why I donāt go back often and although I miss my grandparents immensely, I have to allow talking to them on FaceTime and via phone to suffice [for now.]
Usually I would ride with Shon so he doesnāt have to take that 4 hour drive alone. But recently, I said NO. He has witnessed my entire mood AND mental health shift when we go back to that place.
So, he went to see his grandmother and was disrespected in a MAJOR way by a family member. When he called to tell me about it, I gently smiled not because he was hurt, but because I was exactly where I was supposed to be: HOME. FINALLY, I had learned to trust ME.
Plus, we both knew if I was there it would have been a completely different outcome.
Iāve had ZERO dealings with MOST of my family for YEARS now due to situations like these.
āNO, you donāt get to DECLINE my wedding invite while sending me invitations to all 4 of yours.š
ā NO, you donāt get to disrespect me, then when I respond, flip it ALL on me. Yeah, thatās over. NO MORE GASLIGHTING.
āNO, itās NOT okay to expect me to acknowledge and respect your TOXIC ASS marriage while you continue to act as if mine doesnāt exist, simply because I didnāt marry who YOU wanted me to marry.
āNO, I will no longer be taking the high road while you drag me through the mud. I match energy now, so what we doing?š¤·š¾āāļø
āNO I WILL NOT SUPPORT ANYONE WHO COVERS FOR A PEDIPHILE FOR THE SAKE OF IMAGE. FAMILY OR NOT. THE ANSWER IS NO.
āNO THANK YOU. Iām good on the fake hugs, fake love, gossip and backstabbing as well as feeling like I have to deal with it because weāre related. I DO NOT. I WILL NOT. I AM DONE.
What they donāt tell you is as long as you go along to get along, everything is fine. But the moment you begin to think for yourself and make decisions that are BEST for you, then all of a sudden thereās a problem.
Although Iām happy with my life, who wants to be estranged from their family? NO ONE. We ALL desire love and acceptance. So, yes, sometimes the tears flow, but Iāve learned, you can pray all day, but people have free will and once they show you how theyāre coming, you get to choose whether or not you want them in your life. I chose the latter.
Let this be a testament that broken crayons still color. NEVER ENVY ANYONE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT COST THEM TO BUILD THE LIFE THEY HAVE OR HOW THEY HAD TO FIGHT LIKE HELL TO GET IT.š©·āš¾