Yasemin Tunc Coaching, LLC

Hello, my latest post is on Substack. You can follow me at:

SHAPE VI I follow a retirement related group on Facebook.

https://yasemintunc.substack.com/p/6c57f964-511f-4b64-b434-b92a32f8c7d8?postPreview=paid&updated=2026-04-06T17%3A12%3A59.491Z&audience=everyone&free_preview=false&freemail=true

SHAPE V Thought experiments about retirement

Retirement is a change and a transition!

“Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work, because it doesn’t take.” – William Bridges

The words “change” and “transition” are often used interchangeably, however, we overlook a major difference between them. Change is what happens to us, and is external, such as a job loss, becoming an empty nester, retirement, etc. Transition, on the other hand, is how we process the change. It is internal.

It took me a while to recognize this difference for myself, when I retired. I was prepared for retirement, having given two months notice. At least I thought I was. The day after my last work day, I woke up at my usual time with no where to go, but lots to do. I had planned to take a trip and pack up my house to get it ready to sell. These activities kept me busy for about four months. During that time, I hardly had time to think about my life in retirement. There were only two differences in my life. I no longer received a paycheck, and I was “working” at home instead of going to my office.

After I moved to Chicago, the reality set in. I was in the “now what” stage of retirement, with no where to go and not much to do. I was alone in a strange city knowing only my daughter and her family. My only obligation/fun was babysitting my infant granddaughter on Wednesdays.

I decided to join a couple of organizations and meet people. My social life started to thrive. I started Pilates and walking to Lake Michigan, which is 1.5 miles away from where I live, I started to get in shape and felt healthier and stronger. I started volunteering at Dress for Success. When clients’ eyes would sparkle seeing themselves in professional clothing for the first time and expressing their appreciation, I started to feel accomplished and purposeful. These feelings were enhanced when I started my life coaching business as well. I was engaged with life and would lose track of time both at my volunteer job and playing with my granddaughter.

Finally, I realized I had acclimated to my new life, I was done with what Dr. Bridges calls the “Neutral Zone”, and had transitioned to my “New Beginning”.

Of course, life would interfere with the “happily ever after” but that’s a story for another time.

Have you noticed how you process a big change in your life?

Hello, I hope this note finds you well and you are staying warm these days.

For the past several years, I have been working (off and on of course, as cancer and my own laziness allowed me) on a concept that I want to share with this group. So, I will periodically post parts and pieces here as well as my Substack. My request is, if the spirit moves you, please add your own thoughts.

Thank you for your consideration, and here's part 1:

Introducing SHAPE
SHAPE is my acronym for Social, Healthy, Accomplished, Purposeful, Engaged. It is a formula for life.

Hi, I am Yasemin, I am a life/retirement coach and a joyful retiree. After I retired in 2015, I moved to Chicago to be close to my daughter and her family. It took me about a year to adjust to this new life style and I started to get bored. So, I decided I needed a new career and enrolled in a life coach training program. I also completed the Foundations of Positive Psychology, Mindfulness and Meditation Teaching, and Retirement Coaching programs.

Unfortunately COVID then a bout with cancer derailed my ambitions for a new career, but I am back and I want to share here, what I have learned.

Getting back to SHAPE: Positive Psychology posits that there are 5 dimensions to human flourishing. They are Positivity, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment, PERMA. It acknowledges that Health is also a dimension, so I have also seen PERMA-H as their phrase.

SHAPE is derived from these pillars.
Social - Relationships
Healthy - Positivity plus general health
Accomplished - Accomplishment
Purpose - Meaning (I actually like meaning/mattering more than purpose but SHAME would not have been a good catch phrase.)
Engaged - Engagement

So, give me a follow and let’s make sure we are flourishing together.

Two for This Tuesday, September 30, 2025

1. “There is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so”
William Shakespeare

2. “ There is a law in psychology that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you keep and hold that picture there long enough, you will soon become exactly as you have been thinking.”
William James

I found these quotes in the book “Seeing More Colors: A Guide to a Richer Life” by Michael S. Lewis M.D. They both speak to the capacity of our minds in shaping our reality.

Do you pay attention to your thoughts? I notice that I tell myself to wait for something to happen or something to pass before I do what I want to do. Each time I obey my mind, time passes and nothing gets accomplished. If I ignore my mind, I have amazing experiences.

How does your mind’s voice affect your decision making?

PS: This was first conceived on August 5th. Since then, I had three rounds of Covid back to back, which then turned into pneumonia. I guess that’s what happens if your immune system has been deliberately killed so that a cancer treatment can work (which it didn’t.) But, the good news is that the next treatment did work and I think I beat this menace.

Two (three?) for This Tuesday, 7/29/2025

Last week, I wrote about a paper written by the Philosopher Susan Wolfe regarding the question, “Is there meaning to life?” She distinguished between two possible meanings: meaning of life, and finding meaning in life.

Here’s her definition: “Meaningful life is one that is actively and at least somewhat successfully engaged in a project (or projects) of positive value.”

1. Active engagement: Wolfe explains this as a state beyond going through the motions. If you are stuck in a mindless job, but still continue to go to it, you may not be actively engaged in it. On the other hand, if you lose track of time doing your work, whatever it is, (sort of what Dr. Csikszentmihalyi calls the Flow State) you would be actively engaged with it. �

2. Successful engagement: Success here refers to a feeling of accomplishment at the conclusion of said project. �

3. Positive value: This is mostly from the perspective of the one who engages in the said project, but at the same time, not just for hedonic purposes. Even if the project is to play a round of golf with friends, at least the positive value is strengthening relationships with others. One doesn’t have to be Mother Teresa to add positive value to the world.

I have mentioned before that I have a non-financial retirement planning program that is based on Positive Psychology. The reason Wolfe’s paper has so well resonated with me is because it aligns almost perfectly with my program. If you have been thinking about these life questions as you approach retirement, reach out to me. Let’s explore meaning in our lives together.

Have an excellent week!

Two for This Tuesday, 7/22/2025

How’s your health?
Mine is mostly good, but I had to skip my newsletter last week because of it.

1. Last Monday, I had my 3 month oncology check up. Nothing changed since last time. This is not a bad thing.
2. The next day I felt exceptionally tired and achy. It was Covid!

According to the CDC, as of July 15, Covid cases are growing in Illinois along with eight other states. We don’t hear about this as much in the news these days. In fact, when I told friends and family I had Covid, some reaction was: “is that still around?” Please be careful.

Covid is not the main purpose of this week’s essay however.

When one of my friends asked how my oncology appointment went, I told him I had renewed my lease for another three months. He thought it was “morbid”. Not to be dramatic, but it is kind of weird to live in three month increments. What long term plans can one make with the likelihood of cancer coming back? I’ve been thinking about this for the last week. I know that there are no guarantees for any of us, however most of us don’t have such short term timelines. At least I hope not.

Of course, this whole situation brought me back to the topic of “meaning of life”, which has been occupying my mind quite a bit lately. As I’m continuing my research, I ran across the Philosopher Susan Wolf’s writings. She argues that the question, “what is the meaning of life?” is the wrong one for non-religious people. In her 2007 paper Meanings of Lives, she states: “An understanding of meaningfulness in life, however, does seem to me to merit more philosophical attention than it has so far received, and… that meaningfulness is an intelligible feature to be sought in a life, and that it is, at least sometimes attainable but not everywhere assured”

Interesting twist here but I like it. As an atheist, I am not inclined to look for my life’s meaning in religion. Meaningfulness in life can be found in three months, in three days, or even three minutes.

Have an excellent week, and please take care of your health.

Two for this Tuesday, 7/8/2025

Do you acknowledge yourself?

I always thought this was a bit indulgent, or like boasting. Perhaps because of my austere upbringing, my inner critic has always been louder than my inner cheerleader. These days, I am actively trying to balance these two.

1. We all have a part of ourselves that observes and evaluates our actions, according to Dr. Nelda Andersone. For some of us, this part is more judgmental, especially if we are a high achiever. Unfortunately, this leads us to trouble as in increased stress, perfectionism, or anxiety. I am too familiar!�
�Since my last chemotherapy, I have gained weight. Not fitting into my clothes has been bothering me. Habitually, my inner critic has become quite prominent. Thanks to meditation, I become aware of this voice readily. �

2. Last month, I came across a walking challenge/fund raiser for the Carter Center and I signed up. I finished the month with more miles than “required”. One thing that really helped keep my motivation up was the literal pat on the back I gave myself every time I walked 2-3 miles. ��We all have a fundamental need to be acknowledged. Self acknowledgment leads to higher motivation for all we want to accomplish. I noticed that by recognizing and supporting my efforts, I am able to add more and varied activities to my day and eventually feel better in my clothes.

My pat on the back is a silly way to acknowledge myself. How do you do it?
Also, do you name your inner critic? Judge Judy is too cliche. I’m looking for ideas.

Have an excellent week!

Two for This Tuesday, 6/24/2025

1. If you haven’t seen Arches and/or Canyonlands National Parks, I highly recommend them. They are stunning and awe inspiring. I think my mouth was open the entire day during our tour. Millions of years of geological events do create unimaginable beauty. I was astonished at the difference between the countryside of Colorado and Iowa. I understand better, the concept of the rugged west. Our world is such a gorgeous planet and we are so lucky to be able to live on it.�

2. This trip was my “get out of your comfort zone” trip. While I did spend quite a bit of time alone in my little roomette, it wasn’t boring at all. I read, journaled, watched the incredible scenery as we passed by and waved at the kayakers on the Colorado River. I also ate meals with different people and heard sweet stories about people traveling thousands of miles to see their grand children and to attend cultural events. I’ve mentioned before that I consider myself a Humanist. Even though our political climate makes me question my thinking about this, my trip affirmed my belief in the innate goodness of people.

I’m already planning not only my next trip, but also my next “get out of your comfort zone” activity. I’m open to suggestions (except sky diving), so let me know what takes you out of your comfort zone.

Have an excellent week!

Two for This Tuesday, 6/17/2025

I am going on vacation! All by myself! (Lol)

Ok, it’s only four days, but I am super excited, and to be honest a bit nervous, because:

1. I’ve never taken a solo vacation before. This is sort of out of my comfort zone. But, at 65, it’s about time I try, right? As Neal Donald Walsch said “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Sixty-five may be a bit late to begin living, and I certainly did not wait this long to do that. I have lived a wonderful life so far. This comfort zone thing is about whether I will be bored with myself. I mean, I live alone so I certainly have spent longer than four days by myself. Somehow, being at home by myself seems different than being on vacation by myself. Maybe I’m just overthinking it. More importantly…�

2. The anticipation of seeing incredible geology and hopefully the Milky Way around Moab, Utah coupled with a train journey is so over the top. My mind goes to Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express and the opulent train cars of those days, though I do not expect that on Amtrak. I am, however, very much looking forward to actually seeing parts of our country that I have flown over. I am looking forward to seeing the Arches and Canyon Lands National Parks. I think the spirits of ancient people and the stars will keep me company.

What exciting adventure would take you out of your comfort zone? Let me know, because who knows, you may inspire my new solo venture.

Have an excellent week!

Two for This Tuesday, 6/10/2025

I had a wonderful time with my family this past week. I touched base with both my brothers, I cooked for my daughter and her family, I spent a day at the Planetarium with my grandchildren. These connections fill my heart because family and love are my top values.

1. Have you thought about your values? A really good exercise is to look over a list of values (https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/) and find 20 that speak to you the most. After a while, look over your list and find the 10 that most resonate with you. The idea is to reduce the list to your top five or less.

2. Why is this important? Living and working according to your values will generate peace and happiness in your life. Not only that, but living according to your values gives your life meaning and purpose. It will also help you manage stress, because you are focused on what is important to you.

Top values might change over time. I honestly didn’t consider my health an important value in my earlier years. I was healthy (good genes?) and able to handle all my responsibilities. But, after two years of cancer treatment, health has become another top value for me. I have learned to prioritize myself. It makes me happy to be able to do my daily 3 mile walks again.

So, think about this values exercise. You might be happier for it.

Have an excellent week!