getlostoutside_wonder

Observing contrasts today.

My loves. Morning cuddle sessions have become my favorite part of the day.

My fashionista, Gardener.

“Did the onions grow yet, can I pick one?” Lol

Mother’s Day reflection.

These photos are of the first time I held Slade and Lc in my arms.

Unfortunately they are not the first time that I have held all my children. Most of my children never took their first breathe, never felt my tears of joy and thankfulness on their cheeks.

So many mothers days have been spent in brokenness, longing over the years.

Grief does such destructive things to your heart & soul. Cycles of anger, distance between you and your partner, and at times even a disconnect with your identity. I wouldn’t wish our journey to growing our family on my worst enemy. And if I’m honest I lost hope many times.

I am forever grateful for my babies, yet forever missing pieces of my heart in heaven.

Praying all mothers or hopeful (in waiting) mothers find peace, comfort, acceptance, joy, or at least stillness from grief, quietness from heartbreak in this time.

My best girl. The BEST BIG SISTER!

Something we love to do, puzzles and games - this Saturday!

When you’ve been craving ONE specific thing for 9 months!

Cucumber jalapeño margarita- SPICY REFRESHING AND OH SO STRONG.

He’s here he’s finally here!!

8lbs and 14.5 ounces of perfection and sweetness. 21.75 inches long.

Slade Abram Jones you have stolen our hearts and brought such joy.

Thank you for coming swiftly almost too swiftly!

April 8 @10:56pm only 6 minutes after arriving to the birth center 😳 and so grateful for my doula and the amazing team at the birth center!!

We are home and doing great!

My little owl. You are growing in wisdom and bravery everyday.

I cannot wait to see you spread your wings as a big sister soon.

Work work work work work…

Project work this baby out. Lol

Fun with cousins.

My favorite thing about my childhood is how close I was with my cousins ( .watts.1004). They were truly my very best friends - and STILL ARE! I feel like we were together CONSTANTLY.

I’m so thankful even though my sister and I have an age difference, our kiddos still get to grow up together! Explore. Challenge eachother to be brave!

Pregnancy after loss - hope and fear coincide.

Everyday - every bathroom run, massage, chiropractor appointment, nausea, spotting, strange tinge there is an opportunity for fear to creep in.

As an this is an incredibly awkward space in between. My soul craves joy, silver lining, happiness, freedom from fear, yet my experiences have taught me to be cautious.

I grieve and have joyful expectation in the same breath — and THATS OK.

1 week until We meet our new baby love, Slade Abram Jones.