The Self Care Clique

Lupus can sometimes render you immobile, but that doesn't mean your relationships have to suffer.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here are some fun ways to interact with your friends and family when you can't physically leave the house!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Netflix & Chill (REMIX)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Pick a date and time to watch a movie with a friend on Netflix. On that day, call each other via facetime or regular voice call and start the movie at the same time. This makes for a great movie date!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Use voice-to-text instead of plain old texting⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Voice-to-text is a far better method of communicating than plain text because you can hear tone and inflections. (I have very long nails, which makes texting challenging...long nails are a necessary evil in my opinion — don't come for me lol 💅🏾) I like this method because there is no confusion about what I say or how I say it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Mail a typical purchase as a gift⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All of these online shopping retailers have a "send as a gift" option. You'll be able to type a personalized message that'll be on the packaging slip. Sending a gift is a great way to show someone you are thinking about them. For example, I sent my mother a bottle of flea spray via Amazon after she said she saw fleas on her dog. It was something that I would have bought her anyways, but sending it as a "gift" instead of handing her the spray in a crumpled up Walmart sack made the gesture more grandiose. 🐶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Have you tried any of these methods?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Let me know in the comments below!

Here are two tips on how to stay present:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Practice mindfulness⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Mindfulness is the practice of observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It's known to improve physical health by reducing stress, lowering blood pressure, and reducing chronic pain. Awareness of thoughts, breathing, gestures, and emotions is an excellent way to check in with yourself and slow down. It'll prevent you from racing from one activity or thought to another. I've invested in the guided meditation app Headspace and have been using it for about three months. It has helped me to recognize my thoughts and when my mind is wandering. It teaches me to bring myself back to center and focus on one thing at a time. I would recommend it as a starting point for anyone who wants to begin a mindfulness journey.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Be okay with not knowing all the answers⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you live with lupus, you know uncertainty and unpredictability are a way of life. Being so, we lunge at the opportunity to be able to control something else, no matter what it is. It is this desire that can cripple us with fear and anxiety because of the infinite possibilities. We already know that it is impossible to imagine every outcome of every situation, but we still try! It's time to learn how to be okay with the unknown. I promise it'll make for a much more peaceful life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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As a lupus coach, I am always on a quest to deepen my understanding of the effects lupus has on relationships and friendships. This month I'm offering seven people a FREE 30 minute Lupus Lifestyle Audit. This audit will take place via video chat, where we will work hand in hand to come up with an action plan to help you identify the key activities that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from moving forward. The only request I have is that you complete a short questionnaire in return.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Specifically, we'll uncover what you might be missing so you can finally:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
➖stop feeling so lonely & isolated (which is common despite having friends or a support system)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
➖build

I had an epiphany...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It was a while back, but it has had a profound impact on my worldview.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The epiphany I had is that I come first, always!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Now, I must preface this by saying I am a single female with typical adult responsibilities (and no one depends on me for their survival), so I'm at liberty to enthrall myself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But by doing so, I have offended others because I've drawn DEEP lines in the sand about what I will and will not tolerate.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This means I've chosen not to attend get-togethers and family events because I decided they were a threat to my boundaries.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This means I've modified my approach when going to functions — whether that's leaving early, keeping my distance while there, or simply choosing to be cordial (aka being an adult lol).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Before one of these activities make their way to my calendar, I ask myself, "How will you feel if you don't go?" My answers can range anywhere from sad and stressed to happy or indifferent, depending on the occasion. I move according to how I answer this question because I must check in with myself INSTEAD of doing things because I "should" or wondering what someone else will think or say.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Since being diagnosed with lupus, it is paramount that I protect my physical and mental energy because it's limited now. When I remind myself that I COME FIRST, ALWAYS, it makes it easier for me to make a decision and protect my energy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This is the thought process I use when I'm working 1:1 with clients — I help them to understand that they come first in their lives, too. If you're interested in learning how you can accept this as a fact of your life, I invite you to join me in my 1:1 coaching program.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Type "Yes" below, and I'll DM you the details!

Living with lupus can make you feel isolated, right?!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I mean, people around you have no idea what you're going through! Because of this, you slowly stop dealing with people. You stop going out, you begin reaching out less, and before you know, you don't have a social life anymore.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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One key thing to understand is that we isolate ourselves in the MIND first, and then we isolate ourselves PHYSICALLY.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When you think, "I don't want to be a burden, so I'll just decline the invite to that party next week" or "I'm not sure how I'll feel this Friday, so I'll tell them no" — you've isolated yourself mentally. Since you've already decided NOT to participate, you've isolated yourself physically too!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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By changing your thought process, you can remedy your isolation situation (see what I did there 😉)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Try this — instead of thinking, "I'm not sure how I'll feel this Friday, so I'll tell them no" think, "I'm not sure how I'll feel this Friday, so I'll tell them I'm looking forward to the event, but my attendance is tentative."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's a small change that shouldn't cause too much anxiety for you, and you've taken one step out of the isolation situation. 🤗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When I'm working 1:1 with clients, we spend a lot of time focusing on mindset and thought patterns like this. If your chronic illness is causing social anxiety or isolating you from friends and family, DM me so we can chat about your options for overcoming this!

I want to share something with you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I'm sick of insensitive doctors. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday that nearly left me in tears.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But let's be clear, I'm grateful to have to opportunity to see a doctor and even more thankful that I can CHOOSE the doctor I want.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And that's what I want to share with you...we all have a CHOICE.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We can choose how we want to live our lives and the people we want in them. Thanks to that choice, I'm currently searching for a new doctor! 😂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The power of choice is one of the main pillars I teach in my 1:1 coaching sessions. Recognizing that you have this ability puts you in the driver's seat and this realization is one of the first steps to regaining control.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you're interested in learning more about my 1:1 coaching program, type "YES" in the comments! 👇🏾

Isolation is a "symptom" of chronic illness that no one talks about. It sneaks up on you, and all of a sudden you haven't left the house in weeks!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What's important to understand however, is that isolation is a state of mind — we isolate ourselves in our minds first (via our thought patterns), and then we separate ourselves physically.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We begin to think our condition will make others uncomfortable or that we'll be a burden. But imposing our assumptions on other people is unfair to both them and us.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I learned one important thing on my lupus journey, and that is not to assume another person is thinking the same thing I am! Honestly, I'm the craziest person I know, so it's HIGHLY unlikely my thoughts are remotely similar to anyone else's. 🤪⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do yourself a favor and schedule some time to hang out with friends this week! I'll promise you'll love it (and they will too)!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For those who may not know, I'm starting my 1:1 coaching program specifically tailored to women interested in learning how to build and maintain friendships while living with a chronic illness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Isolation is one of the critical topics we work through so you can rebuild your social life and enjoy life despite your illness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you're interested in learning more about the program, type "YES" in the comments! 👇🏾

Boundary setting is an essential but neglected tool in relationship building. Since we live with a chronic illness, our social wellbeing depends on these boundaries because they establish the "rules" that make for a healthy and fruitful relationship.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Does this sound like you:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤦🏿‍♀️decision making is difficult for you⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤦🏿‍♀️you allow other people to dictate how you think and behave⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤦🏿‍♀️you have a lot of guilt/anxiety⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤦🏿‍♀️passive-aggressive is your middle name⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤦🏿‍♀️you don't know who you are⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If it does, then you may have weak or nonexistent boundaries. I have some quick fixes that you can begin implementing today.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🤗figure out why you don't have any boundaries in the first place⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤗practice self-awareness via journaling or practicing mindfulness⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤗take notice of your feelings in certain situations⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤗be more assertive⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤗allow yourself to speak up⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you're interested in learning more tips like this, I have good news! I'm starting my 1:1 coaching program specifically tailored for women interested in learning how to build and maintain friendships while living with a chronic illness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Shoot me a DM if you're interested in learning more about the program.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Talk soon! 🌸

One of the most challenging aspects of being a lupus coach is addressing concerns about how to sustain friendships/relationships.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We've all had to miss an event due to a flare or general feelings of unwellness. Often, our invitations to social events or hangouts slowly stop rolling in because it's becoming expected that we won't attend. As painful as this is, it is an unfortunate reality of the disease.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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To remedy this, I suggest having a backup plan or activity that you can promptly replace the original event with. For example, if you miss dinner on Saturday, try rescheduling for the next weekend. The willingness to reschedule demonstrates that you WANT to hang out. Since people often use feeling "sick" as a reason to get out of obligations, your friend might assume that you don't want to hang out with them. By rescheduling, you are reiterating your interests in the activity and loved one.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you're interested in learning more tips like this, I have good news! I'm putting together a small, intimate program where I'll be teaching professional women with lupus how to revamp their social lives and improve their relationships.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My method will help fellow lupus warriors thrive with lupus and live their best lives.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Type "Yes" in the comments if you're interested!

I just found out this week that I'm in a flare. After coming to grips with the test results that confirmed my suspicions (which took about five minutes), I made a plan for the accommodations I'll need for the next few weeks. Once I finished doing that, I went on with my day per usual — doing what I would typically do.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Later that night, as I was getting ready for bed, I wondered why I hadn't experienced a flood of emotions. Why wasn't I frustrated? Or sad?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Well, the reason I had none of these feelings is because I've accepted lupus of a fact of (my) life. Sometimes I'll flare, and sometimes I won't. Regardless of which state I'm experiencing, my life is no less valuable and no less worth living to the fullest.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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All of the mindset shifts, thought work, and routine building skills I've acquired prepared me for this moment. My self-care strategies eliminated frustration, reduced anxiety, and equipped me with the tools to deal with the uncertainty of the disease.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Don't you want that for yourself? If YES, let me help you get there.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Join my live group coaching program so I can teach you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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2020 is the year to learn how to THRIVE with lupus. Stop existing and start LIVING!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you're interested in learning more, comment "Yes" below!

Hi, my name is Raquel. I was diagnosed with lupus shortly after my 25th birthday.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Since I am the only person in my family with lupus, I had no guidance and felt lost and hopeless. After dealing with insensitive doctors and six months of diagnosis denial, I found a way to sort through all of the madness.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I've managed to deal with this illness head-on, and I believe every lupus warrior is capable of doing it too!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My main objective is to teach high achieving women diagnosed with lupus self-care strategies for disease management so they can live the life of their dreams.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I want to get these women to a point where lupus can't hold them back!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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That's my story! I'd love to hear more about you! Tell me in the comments below. 👇🏾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you're interested in learning how I can help you live your best life despite having lupus, type "Yes" in the comments!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Talk soon! 🌸

😆This is the face I make when my lupus is under control! Have you made this face lately?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If not, then you're probably:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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😖Feeling isolated because no one understands what it's like to have lupus⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
😖Finding it hard to talk to friends and family about lupus⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
😖Frustrated because you're tired of not knowing how you'll feel day-to-day⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
😖Feeling like lupus is keeping you from living your best life⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I've got news for you, it doesn't have to be this way. Let me help you tackle these issues and live the best life possible. I've developed a strategy that can help you:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🤩build a supportive community so you'll no longer feel isolated⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤩learn practical end effective communication skills so you can have productive discussions about lupus with your family⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤩eliminate the uncertainty about how you'll feel day-to-day⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤩build & execute a program that allows you to live your best life⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Trust me, I was once in your shoes. I felt lost and hopeless. I wasn't socially active anymore, I gained weight and stopped doing the things that made me happy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Now, my lupus is under control. I've got my social life back. I'm working out again (and losing weight 😉). I'm finally living the life that I've always envisioned for myself, all because I followed the methodology outlined in my program. I want to help you do the same!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Wanna chat about how I did it and what you need to make this happen for yourself?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Let’s talk!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Comment "YES" below or message me. I’d love to chat with 3 people before Friday!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Having lupus sucks, but that doesn't mean it has to suck the life out of you!

Tell me, are you always complaining about:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤬the lupus symptoms you suffer from⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤬how you never feel 100% yourself⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤬what you CAN'T do because of lupus⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤬what you used to be able to do BEFORE you had lupus⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🧐What if I told you all of these things don't have to be your reality anymore?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🧐What if I told you there is a way to live with lupus and still have a beautiful life?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🧐What if I told you I could help you achieve your wildest dreams, despite having lupus?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🤔Would you work with me then?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⏰2020 is the time to STOP complaining and to do something about it! Join my exclusive live group coaching program. Learn my life-changing self-care strategies and techniques so you can experience remarkable results, and completely change your life!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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🤩If you're ready to get this work, type "YES" in the comments below!