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Essence of Marriage 💝

The mind game in relationship

If you decide to move on, nobody can stop you. But if, you decide to stop and live your life to a certain moment nobody can pull you out from there.

Whether you decide to live in past or in present, those are accomplishments for you.

There is nothing wrong in living past when you really beautiful memories attached to it. When we are in peak state of life. When we are so optimistic to face new challenges. We have courage in our heart. We are in action mode. We are confident enough to face the world. When we are really getting lots of appreciation for our work. When we have purpose to live our life. When by taking small steps we are achieving our goals. When we are really helping others even in their life. We have lovely and strong relationship. Life is so cheerful. There is feeling of immense pleasure in our life.

But what if we felt pain in your past. We faced failures in whatever actions we took. Worked in lot stress. No me time. Helping others but still not getting appreciation. Working in different styles to achieve results but still facing failures. Failed career, failed relationship. Several complaints and blames. Lots of responsibilities but still blames. Too many conflicts to prove ourself right. Unfulfilled expectations. Several reasons to sacrifice. But still in pain.

But why people choose to live in that pain. While counseling, what I have noticed that people who live in their past really get pleasure in that pain. They feel they have really achieved many things that others cannot. They find themselves very kind and generous. Very responsible and very skilled. Which actually is true. It's a fact of their life.

These people have lot of complaints in their lives which actually then turns into trauma as day by day it becomes their habit. They enjoy this trauma, this pain. What they are unable to see is their present. Unknownigly they are attracting more pain in their life. Because, actually you attracts what you want in your life.

The more you want to live in pain the more pain you will be getting in your life because now you have started enjoying pain in your life. Probably, these people never use to see good things happening in their life. They blame, complaints, make unwanted rules, shouts to fullfill their demands. Threaten others but unknowingly enjoy it.

It becomes difficult for their family even to stay with them. They just do certain things because they are afraid of the action of such person. But still things doesn't ends.

My message to these people is each and every second you are making your and your loved ones lifes more miserable. Understand, what you are attracting. You can even feel accomplished and contented if you decide to live in present. Put all your efforts into right direction which can actually give you immense pleasure.

Today you need to leave all your past. Need to forgive people. By forgiving you are allowing yourself to come out of that pain. The more you keep that pain into your memory, the more you are digging yourself into that pain. Need to leave all your pains and actually what you need to grab from your past is that energy, your skills and the love which is actually your true identity. And you need to put your identity into actions.

Need to stop unwanted comparisons which is actually a barrier between you and your happiness. Start giving gratitude for each and every moment, to god, to yourself, to your family and friends, your colleagues, your boss, even to the people who have criticized you. We have people around us to grow us. We are the one who choose to take the comments in positive or negative way. Just by choosing to stay positive can change your complete life. Give positive affirmations to yourself and others. Add more positive words in your vocabulary. Trust others and their intentions.

Give love and get love just by giving command to your mind that "I am living in present" as many times as many times you get into negative thoughts. Your life will become the result of the seeds that you sow.

Decide today the kind of life you want to live and the way you want to be get remembered by others.

How big is big and how small is small ?

This universe is too big and we all are smallest part of it. It's whether trees, plants, stones or pebbles, ocean or lake, we all are the tiny parts of this universe.

We as a human are facing every day some new challenges for our survival or to live a luxurious life or to feel loved and secured. Some of us running after money leaving our loved ones behind thinking that money is only the way to fullfill all our desires and at the end we come to know that our loved ones in their whole life were waiting for us to come back to spend little time with us. Here, every effort that we have done to give them luxurious life becomes zero.

Relationship with work should be well balanced. Sometimes you find issues very small to be even discussed but for your spouse it is important to be get discussed and resolve it as each day they are facing the same issues and getting exhausted.

A small support at this point of time can make your relationship stronger and your spouse feel understood. Sometimes you don't even realise how much effort has been put by your spouse in serving you. You just use their service and walk. Appreciation can feel your spouse valued but it's a small thing for you and a big compliment from you towards their service.

Sometimes in a relationship one of you sacrifice your desires so that the other partner can grow. But when you are climbing the ladder 🪜 you forget to give them gratitude and love which they deserve. Your partner doesn't expect your gratitude but your gratitude can make your relationship healthy and strong. Your partner feels that you acknowledge their sacrifices.

Sometimes a small positive word can help your partner to accomplish his/her goals. A matter of showing small trust in them can result into a big accomplishments. A small gestures can give big results.

Sometimes you find a problem a big giant but just by changing a small perception to look after it can give you and your loved ones tremendous happiness. Sometimes you are afraid of saying a small 'Yes' or 'No' and thinking of the consequences but by accepting or denying sometimes can give you relief and you find yourself out of the big trou

Role of parents is so important in our life. They can make our future or ruin our future. We get most important lessons from upbringing by our parents. Our parents are our first role models. Our experiences with them changes into our beliefs. These believes makes us what we are today. Our parents relationship also affects our personality. If they themselves are frustrated in their relationship they won't be able to give warmth to their own kids.

There are different Parenting Styles and each of them have different affects on romantic relationship.

1. Authoritatrian Parenting Style

Children whose parents takes complete interest in their activities, answer to each of their questions, set boundaries for them and keep eyes that their kids should not cross it, make them understand the consequences, share time with them, those children understands their and others emotions well and becomes a very confident as a person. A true decision maker and a responsible person. They are optimistic and have high self esteem. This type of parenting style leads to healthy and romantic relationship.

2. Uninvolved Parenting Style

Children whose parents are there with them but show little to no concern in their activities are unable to understand their/others emotions. Becomes wild and aggressive. Will only think of themself in romantic relationship or can be highly possessive.

3. Permissive Parenting Style

Children whose parents do spoon feeding to them, set rules but are lenient, steps into their kids activities only in unavoidable circumstances, easily forgive with warning are raising again a children who don't like rules and are not disciplined. Their self esteem is low. These children as an adult don't like to follow any boundaries. For them their needs are only important irrespective of their partner's needs.

4. Authoritative Parenting Style

A child whose parents put lots of rules in their life, give them punishments on their mistakes, high on discipline are raising puppets. Either these kids becomes highly accomodating or highly aggressive. Unable to understand their emotions. No sense of esteem rights. These parents are raising puppets.

These kids are unable to c***e

Essence of Marriage 💝

Our relationship is so beautiful only if we find it beautiful ❤️

Most couples👫 fall 'In Love' and enjoy this beautiful feeling. But as the time passes it's get faded because they just want to enjoy the 'In Love' feeling through their whole life. They doesn't get the depth of 'True Love'.

If you are the one who really wants to understand the strength and depth of true love, do c***ect us.

Essence of Marriage 💝

Our relationship is so beautiful only if we find it beautiful ❤️

Most couples👫 falls 'In Love' and enjoy this beautiful feeling. But as the time passes it's get faded because they just want to enjoy the 'In Love' feeling through their whole life. They doesn't get the depth of 'True Love'.

If you are the one who really wants to understand the strength and depth of true love, do c***ect us.

While counseling one of my client yesterday, realised one small thing that many couples use to share their wardrobe, share home, share bed, share responsibilities but forget to share their lives.

Marriage doesn't depends on these small things, it has a huge meaning. We experience every day something new, each of our experiences are different. Their impacts on us are different.

Most of us don't even take them seriously or pass these experiences as passing affairs. Very few couples are there who stop and analyse what are they feeling and why they are feeling that way. Why they are get irritated with small things. What is that big picture, that is actually creating problem in their life.

This real picture becomes foggy that most of you are able to see only the dust onto it. Remove that dust and get clear picture.

Some of you get stuck in your emotions because you are carrying so much of responsibilities that you are running every now and then. But in that competition to win, wait for a moment and ask why you are doing it ? Is that you really want in your life. How it is going to help you ?

Most of you forget to invest time on yourself and start seeking attention from their partner. Do it first for your own self. Observe the change inside you. And then, you will be able to help your partner too. That missing spark will be back and you both will grow together.

Share each and every small experience with your partner. Express them how you felt that very moment. What kind of thoughts were flowing in your mind. Give a thought to your thoughts, understand each message behind your emotions.

Sharing responsibility doesn't mean that you do your part and forget your partner and sit on the couch and say proudly that I have finished. Rather help your partner to finish the rest of chores.Because you will be able to save that time which is actually meant for both of you. And that very moment becomes the moment of enlightenment.

Grow yourself and let your partner grow. Share each experience and enjoy the journey together.

Essence of Marriage 💝

Sometimes unknowingly we start controlling our partner and we ourself becomes problem in our relationship.

It's time to introspect ourself for a healthy relationship.

Are you a control freak partner ? Essence of Marriage 💝Sometimes unknowingly we ourself becomes problem in our relationship. We become controlling which starts creating distance in relations...

Happy New Year to each one of you. Enter this new year with a feeling of gratitude and positivity towards your partner and your life.

Stay calm and healthy 😇🤗

Most of the relationships are affected because of false pride "EGO".

This unconscious ego which is sometimes named as Self respect or the matter of Dignity is not helping any of us in any ways.

Don't get confused with the words. Understand the difference between ego and esteem/dignity.

In order to get respect you have to respect others too. Take individual responsibilities and charge of your own life.

Always measure yourself in terms of humanity. Do you find your deeds appropriate, if not then it's "Ego". If you have certain rights others do have the same rights.

Esteem is not defined with any gender. Nor the rules gets changed when it comes upon you. Open your eyes and check your account first. Grow and let others grow. Allow your relationships to grow.

This Dusshera let this ego gets drop and win the relationships and life. Live a meaningful life rather than loosing life every day.