HOPE Relentless Marriage and Relationship Center

Had the honor of leading a marriage workshop called “Sex Through The Seasons!”

We had three different couples (early, mid, mature) speak of s*xual challenges in their season and opportunities for connection and growth. We answered common questions and addressed concerns. It was life giving!

God created s*x, he made the parts. Within his design of marriage, it is good and unifying. A wonderful expression of oneness, and intimacy of mind, body and Spirit. A significant part of marriage but not the only part. And like with everything in our life, surrendered to Christ. He is the source and we want to invite him into even this space. He blesses and adds no sorrow to it.

Conversations were tender, respectful and empowering as we don’t have to settle for cultural narratives and counterfeits when it comes to this area and no one is too far from God’s plan.

God has so much more for us. He has the best. It was refreshing to get the conversation started, meet couples where they were and teach and encourage them to grab hold of all God has for them! He’s so good!

You can be right every time and still lose your marriage.

Keeping score creates transactional relationships and opponents.

If there’s a winner and a loser, we are no longer on the same team.

The next time you feel the urge to fight, ask yourself…

Am I fighting to win the moment, or to protect the marriage?

When we fight for the marriage, grace replaces pride, patience replaces defensiveness and
humility can lead to connection, restoration, and hearing one another.

Keeping score creates standards, measurements, and expectations that over time, crush intimacy.

How we treat teammates is different from how we treat opponents. Let’s “win” together!

You’re on the same team.

It’s time to straighten your crown.

Some of us follow God but we have forgotten we are royal. We are sons and daughters of the King of kings, Lord of lords. Don’t move past this. Let it sink in.

You are loved, you are seen, you are worthy and intentional!

When we know our identity is in Christ it changes how we live, what we believe and what we allow.

Out of that knowing we get to truly experience God’s design for marriage and experience His peace and stability in the midst of the highs and lows of our lives. We see in part the powerful truth that beauty can come from ashes, and that perfection and ease are nothing to boast about rather, it is surrender and faith that we are called to live out.

Almost 21 years of marriage and this still rings true for me. I’ve always been HIS Bride and He’s always been MY source; giving me direction, holding me accountable and bringing joy into my marriage. There is a resolve, peace and hope that is unquenchable.

Fix your eyes, align your heart, know whose you are, and straighten your crown.

Trust is built through ownership, a plan and consistency. When we hold eachother to a standard of perfection, we will be disappointed because it’s not possible. Perfection allows for no margin of error which, as people, we need.

Without it we can move to secrecy, inauthenticity and performance driven behavior.

Whereas what we are really after is repentance, heart transformation and restoration one day at a time.

More on the podcast!