Emotional Wellness By Design

Please know that being a perfectionist IS NOT a compliment…..
It can, and will be an obstacle , especially in relationships if you don’t understand the heart motive behind it ….

Perfection vs Excellance :
Shame-based perfectionism differs significantly from an excellence standard. While both concepts involve striving for high performance, their underlying motivations and outcomes are distinct.

Shame-based Perfectionism :

Fear of Failure: Driven by a fear of making mistakes, leading to anxiety and self-criticism.

Unrealistic Standards: Sets unattainable goals, resulting in feelings of inadequacy when not achieved

Negative Self-Perception: Often reinforces a belief that one’s worth is tied to flawless performance

Excellence Standard:

Growth Mindset: Focuses on continuous improvement and learning from mistakes

Realistic Goals: Encourages setting high but achievable standards, promoting personal development

Positive Self-View: Values effort and progress, fostering a healthier self-image

Please realize while shame-based perfectionism can lead to burnout and anxiety, an excellence standard promotes resilience and personal growth…..

It is a big deal, and it does matter …….

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

Actually, it is.

Children are always watching—the way we love, the way we argue, the way we forgive, and the way we make them feel at home.

Because we’re not just raising children; we’re shaping what love, family, and home will mean to them for the rest of their lives.

Be careful not to dehumanize those you disagree with. In our self-righteousness, we can become the very things we criticize in
others...and not even know it.

You can lead, preach, teach, sing, write, and pray. You can inspire crowds, share wisdom, and lift hearts. But true strength isn’t measured by your talents or your influence—it’s measured by humility.

Can you bow your pride and say, “I’m sorry”? Can you admit when you were wrong, even if no one else will see it? Can you choose reconciliation over reputation, grace over stubbornness?

God calls us not just to excel in our gifts, but to walk in humility, to love even when it’s hard, and to mirror His mercy in every relationship. A heart unwilling to apologize is a heart that misses the fullness of His love.

Your legacy isn’t only in what you do, but in how you restore, how you mend, and how you reflect Christ in your humility. True faith is fearless in admitting fault, bold in seeking forgiveness, and gentle in offering grace.

Be brave enough to apologize. It may hurt your pride, but it will heal souls—yours first. 🤍🙏🏻

Sometimes people rush to the top without taking the time to be a good follower…….
Young people pursuing a dream to own their own business, a young person rushing into ministry to be the lead Pastor, a college graduate thinking their degree they worked for entitles them to be a CEO…..

Not bad dreams or goals, but check the motivation of your heart to why you must have it immediately? What possible pride is driving it?

If you want to be your own boss that’s okay, but is it because working under accountability makes you feel controlled? Not validated?

If you feel called to ministry, that’s legit, but wisdom of God is waiting on Gods timing… look at King David… anointed as a teen, but the appointment wasn’t till his 30’s …. He was a man after God’s own heart and he battled and was mistreated by authority but reverenced to not touch God’s anointed because he followed and honored God’s Word in not taking matters in his own hands and trusted that God would deal with King Saul’s unruly ways .

Joseph sees his future leadership in a dream as a teen but it was 13 years of slaving and serving, and being mistreated, but he did it with a good & humble followers heart that did it honorably and with out complaints, respectfully to any and all authority above him…. His response as a follower was his test …..
Many good lessons are to be learned as a follower, and a good leader never forgets those lessons…. A good leader never stops being a good follower because he (or she ) is a representative and follower of God first and foremost

Needs repeating…..

Don’t let someone else’s sin against you produce sin within you. We are not responsible for how others treat us, but we are responsible for how we respond. If the enemy can’t get you to partner with a spirit, he will try to provoke you through someone else’s sin to bring division. Don’t fall for his trap! We must make every effort to guard our hearts, pray for those who have wronged us, and choose to partner with the Holy Spirit in our response. Ask the Lord to give you His heart and His perspective so you can see rightly, not be hindered by a spirit of offense, and love others as Christ has loved you.

-Anonymous-

The enemy rarely wastes energy attacking things that don’t matter.
So when you see marriage mocked, family divided, faith silenced, parenthood devalued, and commitment treated as disposable—it should wake you up, not discourage you.

These things are under attack because they carry weight. They shape generations, build stability, reflect God’s design, and protect what matters most.

Guard them. Fight for them. Honor them.
What the world tries hardest to destroy is often what heaven values most.

No matter who the main fault holder may be in a conflict , you both are accountable and responsible to God first and foremost for your reaction/response.