Momma Loudon

Several parents pulled me aside after Trek and said some version of the same thing…

“The only reason my kid even agreed to go was because they heard Asher was going to be there. He’s just a safe place.”

And honestly…

That meant more to me than any of his other accomplishments ever could.

He has learned to ask a different question.

Not:

“What’s in this for me?”

But to look outside himself and ask:

“How can I contribute?”

And then… make his corner of the world better for everyone around him.

I think one of the mistakes we make as parents is believing our job is to keep our children constantly happy and comfortable.

So we spend our time trying to remove every obstacle.

Solve every problem.

Meet every desire.

Protect them from every discomfort.

But Happiness is elusive and fleeting….and was never meant to be chased.

Instead, we should teach our children to look outside themselves by asking how they can add value and contribute.

Because when their lives are intentionally filled with purpose and meaning, happiness becomes a natural byproduct.

If you've ever felt the weight of motherhood...
The responsibility of raising children in a world that often seems to be working against the values you're trying to teach...
The exhaustion of wondering if what you're doing today will actually matter 20 years from now...
You're not alone.
Motherhood is not a side quest.
It's not something to squeeze in around the "important" work.
It IS the important work.
Not because we have to raise perfect children….but because we're raising future husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, leaders, neighbors, disciples, and contributors.
My goal here is simple:
To help families become stronger through practical systems, leadership principles, intentional parenting, and faith.
If that's the kind of content you're looking for, welcome! I'd love to have you here. ❤️
Tell me: Is there a current struggle you are facing in your family that you want me to make a video about? If so, drop it in the comments below. I’ll add it to my list.

Not all dudes sew their own ties, but I’m pretty sure the ones who do…they get all the ladies. 😜 One Summer goal down ✅….many more to go.

As promised…here is the compliment game video…

Want your kids to beg to be on their best behavior in public?

Let me introduce you to THE COMPLIMENT GAME…my secret weapon for regular public circus outings with my 9 kids. They get compliments, they win treats….and everyone survives the grocery store without needing therapy.

This is not about external validation and people pleasing…It’s training them to look outside of themselves at how they can help and bless the little corner of the world they are in at any given moment..and giving them opportunities to notice how good it feels to put kindness out into the world…followed by positively reinforcing that whole experience for them.
It’s about wiring their brains to recognize that looking outside of themselves creates connection, joy…and yes, sometimes even natural rewards. That’s how the real world works too. Kindness, teamwork, and initiative open doors of opportunity.
The compliment game is just one tool we’ve used to build that muscle in a fun, light-hearted way. And now, 20 years later… I can tell you it’s blessed their lives. They still look beyond themselves and strive to make the world around them a better place…And that has naturally opened doors and provided them with opportunities, leadership positions, and a deep sense of purpose.

Try it. You’ll never go back.

If this was helpful, hit that follow button. My goal is to strengthen women in their role as mothers… and give them tools that help them strengthen their families. Families are the foundation of society. There is nothing in the world more important than strengthening families. ❤️

Save this to remember the rules.

Share it with the rest of humanity! Because EVERY parent needs this tool in their toolbox belt!

Tonight after dinner, there may or may not be 5 very happy kids eating Drumstick ice cream cones.

Not because they asked.

Not because they expected it.

Not because I bribed them.

But because I noticed.

One of the most powerful parenting lessons I’ve learned over the last 20 years is this:

Values, character traits, and behaviors that get

noticed…
named…
and celebrated…

Are values, character traits, and behaviors that get repeated.

Today my kids stood in a bank lobby for well over an hour while nearly $9,000 in one-dollar bills were counted and recounted.

No screens.

No complaining.

No fighting.

No issues.

Just patience, respect, and self-discipline.

That didn’t happen by accident.

Culture is built one small moment at a time.

One compliment.

One expectation.

One conversation.

One celebration.

One repeated behavior.

Over and over and over again.

Parents often focus on correcting what is wrong.

But don’t forget to pour just as much energy into noticing what is right.

Catch them being good.

Tell them exactly what you noticed.

Celebrate it.

The goal isn’t perfect kids.

The goal is helping them become the kind of people who leave every room a little better than they found it.

And tonight…

that looks like Drumsticks after dinner.

What’s something your child did recently that made you proud?
Don’t forget to tell them you noticed and to celebrate it however you celebrate in your family…whether it’s with stickers, beads, pom poms in a jar, or a little treat.

Quick PSA…

If I suddenly disappear from comments/messages for the next 4 days…
It’s not you, it’s me. 😂

I am going off grid…with hundreds of teens from local church congregations…to trek in the wilderness. 😬

Which means:
• no internet
• questionable sleep
• emotional damage from group games 🫣
• approximately 47 gallons of Dr. Pepper Zero to keep me awake and sane. 😜

Pray for me.

So if you message me and hear crickets…that’s why. ❤️

See you on the flip side, friends.

It’s summer!

And if you don’t create structure…

Congratulations on your new full-time unpaid position as director of a screen addiction recovery facility.

Where your patients are your own bored children…who treat your kitchen like a 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet…and slowly destroy your house like feral raccoons.

And screens will win.
Every. Single. Time.

Today was the last day of school where I live…
So let me walk you through a leadership strategy that will give your kids buy-
in and empower them to lead themselves.
At the start of every new season…we hold a family meeting.
And we ask every single kid:
“What do you want your summer to FEEL like?
And...
What do you want to DO?”

I write down everything.
Trips they want to take. Skills they want to learn. Their goals...and the support they need to accomplish them. Projects. Bucket list ideas.
All of it.

Then we add the family non-negotiables.
Everybody contributes in some way to helping the home run smoothly

BUT…they get to choose the contribution they hate the least.

I consolidate everything onto one daily checklist for the whole family.

And here’s where the magic happens:
They can play/have freedom as soon as they finish their list.

I do NOT need to tell them what to do or nag them about when to do it.

They control how quickly they earn freedom.

So when the neighbor kids come knocking on the door…
I ask one question:
“Did you finish your list?”
Whether they can play is 100% based on them and the choices they made earlier that morning.

It may take one or two times of them not finishing the list and missing out on a fun opportunity for them to start learning to lead themselves.

And THAT is the real goal.

One year ago today I hit record for the first time.
Hands shaking. Scared to death. Insecure to my core.
I have always hated attention and hid from cameras…scared of being seen and criticized.
And somehow… I ended up on the internet. 😂
This is my one-year anniversary of starting my climb on cringe mountain…and I’m sharing my story. How it started, why I almost didn’t, what it cost me, and what keeps me going.
If you’ve been feeling a nudge to use your voice… this one’s for you.

Confidence is built through supported discomfort…
small wins…
stacked evidence…
and learning:
“I can do hard things.”

Not by throwing them out into the deep end…

but through scaffolding.

Support them.
Walk with them.
Stretch them gently…
Little by little… over time.

Help them expand themselves.