Momma Loudon

Here’s the point I hope parents of small children hear:

The years 0-8 matter most!
INVEST IN THOSE YEARS!

Early childhood is a period of extraordinary brain plasticity. Their brains are like sponges…literally being built through repeated experiences, relationships, modeling, and interaction…often years before they’ll retain conscious memories of any of it.

Those ordinary years of repetition matter.

Be intentional by teaching them the things that will have the most impact on who they will become.

Name your values. Teach your values through children’s stories.
Model your values.
Talk about them.
Create expectations around them.
Notice and positively reinforce them when you see them.
Build a family culture where those values are simply “what we do.”

Not because it guarantees an outcome.

It doesn’t.

But because those are the years when you have the most influence over shaping your child at an identity level.

Eventually, your job changes.
You stop laying the foundation and start stepping back so they can decide what to build on it.

And if you’re currently watching an older child choose differently than you hoped, I hope you heard this part too:

Their current choices are not necessarily a final verdict on your parenting…or on who they will eventually become.

Our children have agency. They will make mistakes, question things we taught them, make choices we wouldn’t make, and sometimes need distance from us to figure out where we end and they begin.

And I actually think there’s something healthy (and developmentally appropriate) about that.

I did that with my parents.
I’ve watched my adult children do some version of it at some point, too.

The goal is to give them a strong enough foundation that someday they can stand on it. ❤️

What is something your parents planted in you that you didn’t appreciate (or even recognize) until you were older?

Harvard tracked people for over 80 years to find the best predictor of professional success.
It wasn’t grades.
It wasn’t talent.
It wasn’t social status.

It was… CHORES, Grit, and love.

Chores build more than clean houses.

They build grit…and capable adults. Confident contributors. Connected families.

Mama, you’re not being lazy by teaching your kids to help…you’re being intentional.
You’re training future leaders… not running a luxury resort. 😉

They won’t learn responsibility by accident.
So hand them the broom, a rag, a toilet brush…
and remind them: Harvard says it’s time to clean their bathroom.

Tag a mama who needed this reminder.
Or your kid… if the trash is still sitting by the door. 😂

Here’s a Ted Talk by the former Dean of Stanford (Julie Lythcott-Haims), “How to Raise Successful Kids”. At 8:26, She starts talking about the 75-year-long + Harvard Study and its link to chores.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=84&v=CyElHdaqkjo

Get the youngest kid who can do the thing… to do the thing.

When there’s a chore that needs to be done, don’t call the one that already knows how to do it. Call the one who’s ready to level up.

“What a child can do today with assistance, they can do by themselves tomorrow.” -Vygotsky

I’m not just hosting long-term houseguests… I’m training future adults who can contribute, problem-solve, and be capable, competent leaders.

You don’t need to know everything to homeschool your child.

You don’t need to remember every math formula or know all of world history.

I have a Master’s Degree, and I certainly don’t.

But you DO need to be willing to say:

“I don’t know the answer. Let’s find out!”

And then….show them what it looks like to turn curiosity into knowledge.

Model what being a life-long learner looks like.

Let them see you try something new and be absolutely TERRIBLE at it. 😂
Take a class.
Practice, and Get better.

Let them see you ask questions, study, and even change your mind when you learn something you didn’t know before.

So here’s my challenge:

This week, learn something you genuinely want to know…simply because YOU want to know it.

👇 Tell me in the comments: What rabbit hole are you going down?

I’ll go first:
Tuguegarao, Philippines. 🇵🇭

I currently know NOTHING about it. 😂

But my son is about to live there for two years, so I want to know EVERYTHING!!! I’ll be diving down that rabbit hole, head first!

No one in this world knows, loves, or cares about your child’s growth and development as much as YOU do.

And individualized education does not mean designing a life where your child never has to struggle.

Sometimes loving a child means accommodating them.

Sometimes it means supporting them.

Sometimes it means stretching them.

And sometimes it means recognizing that their brain genuinely isn’t ready for something yet…letting them build confidence and capability somewhere else…and circling back later.

There is a HUGE difference between:

“This is beyond your current capacity.”

and

“This is too hard for you, so you don’t need to worry about learning it.”

I don’t want to educate AROUND my children’s limitations.

I want to understand their limitations well enough to help them gradually EXPAND beyond them.

That requires knowing the actual child in front of you…not just their age, grade level, curriculum, diagnosis, personality type, or supposed learning style.

Meet them where they are.

But love them enough not to leave them there.

👇 Parents of multiple kids: What worked AMAZINGLY for one of your children and completely bombed with another? 😂

You don’t need to mold your family to fit into the “right” philosophy.

Study the philosophies. Learn the principles behind them. Steal all the principles and philosophies that align with your WHY, your vision, your children, and your family culture.

Then give yourself permission to ditch the rest.

Intentionally create one that specifically supports and enhances your family culture.

👇 Veteran homeschoolers: What’s ONE principle from a philosophy that has most benefited your family?

Tonight, our son opened a letter that will change the next two years of his life.

For those who aren’t familiar with our faith, young adults in our church can choose to volunteer as missionaries…leaving home for 18–24 months to serve others and share their faith in Jesus Christ.

They don’t get to choose where they go.

They submit an application saying they’re willing to serve…and wait to find out where in the world they’ve been assigned.

For Asher, saying yes meant being willing to leave behind a girl, his friends, his job, college, his family…and the entire life he has known.

He has worked for years to save the $10,000 it will cost him to serve.

Technically, he should be starting his senior year of high school right now. Instead, he graduated early with his associate degree and will leave just days after his 18th birthday.

There are a thousand “easier” ways he could have chosen to spend the next two years.

But I am so proud of him for choosing this one.

We’ve spent his whole life preparing him to confidently go out into the world without us and serve…

Tonight, we finally found out where his “yes” is taking him. ❤️

Part 3: Create a vision

Someday, your child is going to leave your home.

Work backwards from THAT day.

Who do you hope they become?

What do you want them to know?

What do you want them to be able to do?

What principles, values, character traits and life skills do you hope they take with them?

Then ask:

What can I do at THIS age and stage in their development to help them become that person?

We’re not just educating children.

We’re preparing future adults.

In part 1, I discussed prioritizing culture over curriculum. In part 2, I discussed the importance of knowing your WHY. In part 3, I talk about the importance of creating a vision.
Next, in part 4, I will discuss homeschool philosophies

One of the fastest ways to become overwhelmed by homeschooling is to start collecting curriculum before you’ve asked the right questions.

There are a MILLION ways to homeschool.

That’s exactly why you need to know YOUR WHY! Why is your family homeschooling?

Once you know your WHY, it becomes a filter.

It helps you decide what deserves your time, what doesn’t, what success looks like for YOUR child…and which well meaning practices aren’t a good fit for your family.

You don’t need to recreate my homeschool. And…PLEASE don’t try to recreate public school at home!!!

You need to intentionally build yours.

That’s what this series is going to help you do.

If you homeschool (or you’re considering it) what’s the ONE question you most want me to answer in this series?

I’m reading the comments and building the next videos around what you actually need.

While this reel mentions homeschooling, it’s a principle that should matter just as much (if not more) if your kid goes to public school.

As a new school year approaches, my inbox is getting inundated with questions about homeschooling.

Predominantly…What curriculum do you use?

But after homeschooling for 2 decades…9 kids with VASTLY different personalities…I’ve become convinced that the curriculum is one of the LEAST important parts of the conversation.

One clarification because I know someone will misunderstand me:

Prioritizing character, identity, executive function, work ethic, and a love of learning does NOT mean we ignore academics.
Obviously we also teach academics. 😂

BUT…A child who can focus, delay gratification, manage their time, tolerate frustration, work independently, ask questions, solve problems, recover from failure, and take ownership of their own education has an enormous foundation underneath whatever academic curriculum you put in front of them.

I’m interested in building the learner before obsessing over the lesson plan.

And one important piece I had to cut from the reel for time:

Our kids don’t have unlimited access to screens….and we don’t own a single video game.

If they happen to get bored? GOOD. 😂

Boredom creates empty space.

And that empty space is often where curiosity, creativity, imagination, projects, books, businesses, experiments, questions, and new interests begin.

So as everyone prepares for another school year, maybe the better question isn’t only:

“What curriculum should I use?”

Maybe it’s:

“What kind of learner am I trying to raise…and what kind of culture would help create them?”

That’s a conversation I could have ALL DAY.

So if you’re homeschooling…or considering it…feel free to ask me anything in the comments. I’ll try to respond to as many questions as I can.

And if there’s enough interest, maybe I’ll turn the most common questions into a homeschool series. ❤️